Let’s face it once and for all: no relationship is perfect. And, when we say that it is not perfect, we mean that each relationship brings with it challenges to overcome. What makes it a healthy relationship are the ways its members deal with these challenges… and one of those can be anxiety.
Like a silent intruder, Anxiety can interfere with relationships, affect trust, communication and intimacy. In this article, we’ll explore the different ways anxiety can affect these dynamics and what you can do to better manage it.
Anxiety is a natural response to situations of danger or threat. Although we can all feel it from time to time, it can become a problem in daily life when it becomes excessive and begins to affect our relationships.
Some of the causes of excessive anxiety, especially in the area of couples, may be the fear of abandonment. That is, the fear of being left or rejected by your partner, which especially affects people who deal with many insecurities or low self-esteem. Another factor that can seriously affect is the expectation of having a perfect relationship or of fulfilling certain social roles.
Another important variable is lack of comunication, since the difficulty in expressing emotions or needs openly can create misunderstandings and fuel anxiety. Additionally, if one or both members of the couple are experiencing a mental health problem such as depression or anxiety, this can affect the dynamics of the relationship.
If you suspect that anxiety may be interfering with your relationship, we show you some of the ways it can manifest itself:
I have anxiety and my partner doesn’t understand it, what do I do?
What can you do if you have anxiety and your partner doesn’t understand it? Although there is no infallible manual, we can tell you that everything starts with communication. Talking to your partner about your anxiety will help them understand what you are experiencing.
It is essential that your partner understands that Anxiety is not a whim or a sign of weakness. Be patient with her and help her understand how she can support you. You can even share with them what activities you find difficult to do normally when you feel very anxious.
Another action that you can apply is to tell him exactly what actions trigger your anxiety within the couple. Don’t assume he or she already knows. Give him concrete examples, so he can put himself in your shoes and understand you better.
Since no relationship is perfect, it is important that you can agree on your actions when discussing your different points of view. Don’t let yourself get frustrated if you feel like you don’t understand each other. Agree not to raise your voice and avoid aggression and hostility, since this is a behavior that usually greatly affects people prone to anxiety.
How can anxiety affect relationships?
Anxiety, as we have seen, not only affects our individual well-being, but can also interfere with relationships. Here are some of the ways it can interfere:
Anxiety is capable of building invisible walls. Those who suffer from it may feel a constant fear of rejection or disapproval; This leads him to repress how he feels or stop communicating what he needs in the relationship, thus creating emotional distance from his partner.
2. Constant insecurities and doubts arise
Why do people with anxiety feel so many doubts about the future of their relationship? We explain: anxiety sows the seed of insecurity in the mind of the person who suffers from it. For this reason, It is quite common for constant doubts to arise about your partner’s love, her commitment or the stability of the relationship torment her. This generates a state of emotional instability that affects the dynamics of the couple.
3. There is avoidance and distancing
Avoidance is a common behavior that people with anxiety resort to to avoid having to face this feeling face to face. This may include refusing to participate in social activities, refusing physical contact, or emotionally withdrawing from your partner.
4. Greater tendency to overthink
The partner who suffers from anxiety may interpret the other’s words or actions in a negative way or imagine scenarios that have not yet been contemplated. If there is no clear communication, this could generate a spiral of misunderstandings and conflicts that negatively impact trust in relationships.
5. Lower the emotional connection
The obvious reduction in communication, insecurity and misunderstandings negatively impact trust and intimacy in the relationship. The person with anxiety may be afraid of being vulnerable or showing themselves as they are and this reduces the deep connection with your partner.
How can I prevent anxiety from ending my relationship?
If we were asked to describe anxiety as an evil figure, we would say that it is a kind of sorceress that clouds the mind of those who suffer from it, making them anticipate thousands of possible catastrophic futures. Or, perhaps, like a giant leech that absorbs trust, communication and intimacy in the couple and puts the stability of the emotional bond at risk.
However, anxiety, when unmasked, is not as evil as it seems. In fact, it can be treated and does not have to portend the end of the relationship. There are different strategies to tame it and build a healthy relationship.
Since everything starts with you, self-care is essential. If you suffer from anxiety, implement healthy habits such as a good diet, constant exercise, relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, mindfulness or deep breathing and, of course, adequate rest.
In the couple’s territory, it is necessary to cultivate positive and effective communication. It is possible to share your feelings clearly and respectfully, without blaming or attacking your partner. Listen carefully and validate their feelings. Learning to communicate effectively will strengthen the emotional connection and avoid misunderstandings.
If anxiety has severely affected trust between you, it is important to work on rebuilding it. The outside view of a mental health professional could greatly help give a new perspective to the relationship. When it is understood, anxiety stops being a monster and becomes a fragile creature that must be treated. With the right support, you can learn to manage it and build a deep and meaningful connection with the person you love.
