The great change of our time comes from the internet New technologies have meant that we are all connected and informed through smartphones and computers.
Although at first glance this greater access to information and communications only represents a clear advantage for our species, the truth is that there are also people who lose control and maintain a problematic relationship with these technologies, to the point of developing clinical symptoms derived from their misuse.
How do social networks affect us?
As we saw in an article a few months ago, social networks (such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) are a great way to maintain contact with people who are far away, but at the same time they have led to disorders, such as FOMO Syndrome. It seems that we are so connected to networks that we have lost the ability to focus on ourselves, our well-being and the present moment.
But this is not the only problem derived from social networks. People addicted to the reward that comes from having more followers or more ‘likes’ on their photographs also come to consultations. Even spiritual retreats are fashionable in which dozens of people take advantage of the weekend to free themselves from the toxic burden generated by their dependence on new technologies.
Interview with Marta Marín Martínez, from Clínica Mariva
To delve deeper into all the problems that new technologies in general, and social networks in particular, are generating, we wanted to talk with Marta Marin Martinez from Clínica Mariva in Valencia.
Bertrand Regader: Has regularly using social networks on the Internet affected our self-image and our way of valuing ourselves?
Mariva: I think there is no doubt that it is. We started using social networks in which, although the image was important, it was not the main thing or it did not have to be. We shared texts and so on, but this has reached the point where the dominant social network is based on the image as a strong point, so we have reached a point where it is affecting excessively.
How have interpersonal relationships changed since we used platforms like Facebook or Instagram?
One of the positive points of these social networks is that they allow you to maintain relationships, learn about the latest news from friends, etc., which is why they help maintain the feeling of belonging, something basic for human beings.
However, it is also important to reflect on the fact that sometimes we have contacts on social networks with whom we have not met for years, is it then necessary to know aspects about their life or vice versa?
Specifically in the field of relationships… what kind of problems arise from the use of these online platforms?
Problems arise, especially, regarding jealousy. There is an evident increase in queries in our center due to problems of this type: “he has liked a photo of another girl… he follows his ex-partner on social networks… he does not answer my WhatsApp messages at the moment… he talks to another boy…” They are phrases that we hear every day and that, contrary to what we may think, are not just something for young people. I believe that the problem is not the social network, there is a problem of jealousy and mistrust and the social network or the use of instant messaging is serving as a catalyst.
Another type of common problem is that the couple is together but one or both of them are more aware of their cell phone, looking at other things or even uploading photos of what they do. In these cases, I would tell you the same as in the previous case, there is already an underlying problem that is not the social network itself.
On the other hand, the use of these digital resources comes with the cost of a certain loss of privacy. Do we tend to underestimate this disadvantage?
Of course, that’s what we were saying, that we have contacts that we haven’t seen in years and who are up to date with our lives. We are subtracting the value of privacy, something that is a value of the first order and that, I think, we should take much more care of.
There is also talk of the way in which social networks keep us glued to the screen. How do you explain this ability they have to keep an eye on what the rest of our contacts upload and share?
People are curious about what people do around them, it is something natural, but it can become “gossip” and that is why social networks, as well as reality television shows, are so successful. . We usually really like to look out the window and see what our neighbor is doing, and the social network allows this instantly, although, continuing with the metaphor, it is a window with many filters in which we do not see the neighbor’s total reality, but rather that, generally, its most positive part, which can reduce our self-esteem due to the happy social comparison.
Possibly people with anxiety problems do not cope well with the torrent of information that platforms such as Facebook or Twitter throw at us. Is this reflected in the cases seen in therapy?
What people with anxiety, or even without it, feel worst about is the feeling of having to be available and reachable at any time, that is something that prevents them from disconnecting.
On the other hand, as you say, overstimulation is very harmful to anxiety and it is essential that we relearn to watch a movie, listen to music, go out with friends… enjoying only that task and not looking at our cell phone.
Are we being taught to compete in the number of likes, retweets and comments on photos?
Yes, although little by little, we are realizing how useless it is and many people are choosing to eliminate social networks from their lives, but, this is especially worrying in the world of young people and adolescents, because, at a fundamental age For the development of adequate self-esteem, we are encouraging it to be based on the perception of others and their reaction to our image or the image we want to give, this is disastrous for the development of healthy self-esteem.
And what about people who decide not to use social media? Are they harmed by the lack of ability to meet new people?
As we have talked about, I perceive that it is an upward trend, although it is still strange to meet people who have decided to do without social networks and those who do, tend to feel more excluded and, when it comes to meeting new people, it begins to be essential, even, to establish relationships.