How Do You Help Manage Arguments In Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is the best option to learn to manage the tendency to argue on bad terms and for everything something that greatly deteriorates coexistence and wears down the love bond.
Contacting a qualified professional specialized in this type of conflict will help us resolve in the shortest possible time those obstacles that may arise in life as a couple, it will allow us to strengthen it and also incorporate communication tools for the future.
Main areas of work in couples therapy to learn to manage arguments
These are the fronts of psychological intervention that are addressed in couples therapy to help people overcome problems due to the tendency to argue too much.
1. Active listening training
Communication deficits are usually one of the main causes of relationship problems, and one of the essential elements that cannot be missing when maintaining a good level of communication is active listening.
Active listening is the ability to listen fully and consciously to the other person as well as subsequently internalizing our interlocutor’s message and acting accordingly.
This capacity for deep communication is essential in any area of life, and can be trained during couples therapy, in the event that one or both members of the couple do not have it very developed.
A therapist specialized in this field will be able to make the couple understand the importance of active listening for the correct functioning and will know what exercises to put into practice to train it and make it emerge.
Assertiveness is another of the most important social skills that exist and without which we cannot function correctly in a social environment, whether at work, with the family or in a stable relationship.
This skill is what allows us to firmly and confidently express our point of view on any topic as well as our emotions or preferences, all with respect, without aggressiveness and without undermining the rights of the interlocutor.
Assertiveness is of vital importance in the couple’s environment when it comes to expressing to the other person any emotion or discomfort that may arise on a daily basis, instead of repressing them or keeping them to oneself.
3. Strengthening the dynamics that promote empathy
Another of the classic social skills that can be worked on in a couples therapy process is empathy, that is, the ability to put yourself in the place of another, as well as to understand and value their emotions, feelings or motivations
People with a lack of empathy often act without taking into account the consequences of their actions and without understanding the impact they can have on the feelings and well-being of the other person.
This lack of consideration can be interpreted as selfishness on the part of the person concerned and may constitute sufficient reason to end the relationship.
4. Anger management
Once again, emotional management is essential to maintain correct social interaction in any aspect of daily life and in the field of emotion management there is one that causes the majority of interpersonal problems in the couple: anger.
Knowing how to manage one’s anger is a fundamental coping strategy that allows us to channel and control the momentary anger that we may feel Psychologists emphasize that to learn to control it, it is necessary to know how to identify it correctly and recognize how it appears in the body itself.
This skill can also be learned and trained by a qualified therapist in both the context of individual therapy and couples therapy.
5. Learning constructive criticism
Some people often have difficulty giving constructive criticism, either to their own partner or to another person. This may be due to a lack of empathy, assertiveness or any other social skill and this phenomenon almost always leads to an argument.
In the area of couples, it is of special importance learn to give constructive criticism without making it seem like personal attacks or reproaches to cause pain which is why it is so beneficial to train the way in which one expresses one’s own opinions without hurting the other person.
Couple psychologists are specialists in offering useful communication tools to their clients and in training both verbal and non-verbal language, to learn to discuss opinions without ending in a heated argument.
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6. Negotiation
Problem solving is another of the essential skills to function correctly in a relationship, since throughout a long period of coexistence, recurring arguments, conflicts or problems of greater or lesser magnitude usually appear.
These types of problems, if they are frequent, can put the future of the relationship at risk if the couple does not put them into practice. an efficient problem-solving method for both members Of the same.
Negotiation is the ability to resolve a problem in a way that is fair and satisfactory to both parties, and in the context of relationships, taking into account the well-being and integrity of both members of the relationship.
Learning to apologize when we have made a mistake is a sign of emotional maturity and also one of the keys to resolving all types of conflicts or problems with your partner in a satisfactory manner.
People who know how to apologize when appropriate do so because they are aware of the repercussions that their actions may have had in the past and in general they tend to maintain more successful communication styles both with their partner and with their social environment.
8. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to know correctly manage one’s own emotions in a manner appropriate to each situation and also to identify other people’s emotions.
Emotional intelligence is, along with those mentioned above, the main social skills that any socially competent person has, and all of them constitute the best tools to maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.
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9. Train confidence
Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and an indicator of the good or bad situation in which it finds itself.
Some people may have trouble trusting their partner and These trust deficits may be motivated by real events, such as past infidelity, or by imagined events such as excessive jealousy.
10. Avoid reproaches
Reproaches constitute a very negative and toxic form of communication in the couple, since focuses on negative or past aspects instead of focusing on resolving the situation in the present moment
Maintaining a positive and purposeful mode of communication without focusing on the past is a good way to begin to solve the couple’s problems in a healthy way and without harming the other person.
