How Do You Overcome Infidelity with the Help of a Psychologist?

Infidelity is one of the most frequent reasons for consultation among people who decide to go to couples therapy to have the help of a psychology professional. This is not surprising, since infidelities are a relatively common phenomenon among those who are in a dating relationship or are married.

It is true that in most cases, when the case of infidelity transcends and both people involved in the relationship are aware of what happened, this usually entails a hard emotional blow for the person who feels “cheated”, and a reaction is triggered. relationship crisis, or directly a breakup of this. However, in many cases the dating relationship or marriage can be repaired if the appropriate steps are taken, which always have to do with reestablishing the commitment that someone has broken.

In this article we are going to see How it is possible to overcome infidelity with the support of a psychologist through a process of couples therapy

Table of Contents

How does a psychologist work to help overcome a couple crisis due to infidelity?

These are the main parts of the intervention in couples therapy when supporting couples who have gone through infidelity, whatever type it may be. Not all of them are produced sequentially, but rather several of them are interspersed with the others.

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1. Initial evaluation of the case and delimitation of the infidelity problem

First of all, It works by examining the perception that both people have of the case of infidelity

It may be that, at first, what it means for a person to break the commitment is not what it means, which does not mean that infidelity has not occurred.

In this phase, the attitude of both people when recounting what happened is examined, evaluating aspects such as the degree of regret, defensive behavior, seeking confrontation…

2. Detection of the triggers of infidelity

Although each relationship is different and marriage or dating problems must be examined case by case, it can be said that the main causes of infidelity are the following (several may be present at the same time, interacting and reinforcing each other):

Some of these causes and facilitators of cases of infidelity compromise the relationship so much that the only way out is to break up, a solution that is especially urgent when breaking the commitment is a way of psychologically mistreating the other person or occurs in a context of abuse. In situations like this, couples therapy does not intervene.

In any case, once the causes and triggers of infidelity have been detected, we move on to the next stages of couples therapy created to measure to provide a solution to the unsatisfied needs of both parties, but always focusing on the that has been more damaged and harmed.

3. Creation of a context of dialogue in which there is no prejudice

In couples therapy it is very important to establish speech protocols that allow that both people can express themselves without being interrupted and without fear of being judged by the psychologist The role of the professional in this part of the process is as a facilitator of dialogue and mediator, but also as a facilitator of a communication flow that must touch on all relevant topics, asking key questions.

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Furthermore, in this aspect of couples therapy intervention, people are “trained” to regulate anger and establish constructive discussions in which they do not fight for the simple fact of fighting, but rather to look for possible solutions.

4. Accompaniment to the person who has been unfaithful in a process of self-knowledge

The person who has been deceived must understand what infidelity has meant for them, and what would be necessary for them to feel comfortable in that relationship again, loving the other person. For this reason, she is offered help when it comes to putting her feelings into words and structured explanations of how she has experienced infidelity.

5. Creation of a damage repair plan

It is not enough to ask for forgiveness, you must show interest in repairing that commitment that has been broken by infidelity.

Therefore, therapy helps both people agree on a process of repair and renewal of commitment, which must go through actions in which you have to invest time and effort These action-based goals are part of the goals you want to reach with therapy, and must include a specific period of time to achieve them.

6. Training in emotion management techniques

Psychological intervention in cases of infidelity is also an opportunity to learn to better manage emotions This is part of both the objective of repairing the relationship damaged by infidelity, and of acting on the triggers of infidelity.

Related article: “Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions”

7. Resolution and final support

In the final stage, the couple is helped to recognize the progress made, and both people evaluate the current state of their relationship If both notice that the crisis due to infidelity has been overcome, they are offered a period of support to see if this improvement is maintained in the medium and long term.

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Are you looking for psychological assistance for couples?

If your courtship or marriage is going through difficult times and you are interested in having couples therapy services, contact me.

I am a psychologist specialized in the cognitive-behavioral model, and I work helping people and groups in individualized sessions, for couples and for companies. You can count on my services in person at my office in Madrid or online via video call.