Sexual desire is a sensation that appears naturally and that drives us to seek to satisfy our sexual needs.
It is for this reason that it is not advisable to avoid or try to inhibit our sexual desire, since this will only generate negative consequences. Likewise, it has been seen that a decrease in sexual desire is normally linked to psychological causes and this affectation produces alterations in the subject such as problems in the couple or in relationships, greater lack of desire, decreased self-esteem, feeling of guilt, even biological effects.
In general, we will see that a decrease in desire causes general discomfort that ends up having an impact on different areas of the patient’s life.
Next We will see how the problems caused by the lack of sexual desire in the couple’s environment affect us and we will review some of the affects that a hypoactive desire entails.
Sexual desire is an impulse, a force, that moves us to relate intimately with another person , encourages us to seek sexual contact or interaction with the other. The purpose of this sensation is to have fun, enjoy and feel pleasure. It is for this reason that we should not deny or avoid it, since this will only cause us discomfort.
Feeling desire is a normal and healthy sensation, which will increase or decrease its intensity depending on the situation and the stimuli and that we can satisfy with another person or autonomously ourselves.
This impulse to seek sexual pleasure begins to develop with the first physical and hormonal changes that appear during puberty , a stage that begins between 10 and 14 years of age in girls and between 12 and 16 years of age in boys. Apart from visible bodily changes such as the increase in genitalia or the appearance of body hair, there is an increase in testosterone, which is the hormone linked to sexual desire in both sexes, although it also influences women. estrogens.
Likewise, these biological changes will occur alongside psychological changes, which are mainly characterized by a greater search for contact and relationships with people of the same age, that is, a greater interest in forming friendships, with the purpose to share with some of them a closer bond, closer, with a more intimate relationship.
Thus, sexual desire has a genetic component that arises from within the subject, but an external influence will also appear, from the environment, which will regulate and be decisive for the way in which we will experience such an impulse of desire. For example, the education we have received, such as having attended a religious school or belonging to a conservative family, can cause us to inhibit our sexual desire and value it negatively.
Sexual desire disorder appears in the fifth edition of the diagnostic manual of American psychiatrists (DSM 5) classified within sexual dysfunctions, called hypoactive desire disorder It has been observed that this disorder occurs much more in women, with a percentage of 22% to 51%, than in men where the figure is between 10% and 15%.
Likewise, after ruling out that it is not due to organic involvement, we will study the evolution of the problem, if it is primary. That is to say, normal or secondary functioning has never occurred, where there was sexual desire before. At the same time, we will observe if there is only a lack of desire with your partner, specific, or if you have no desire with anyone, generalized.
Effects that a lack of sexual desire generates in us
As we have seen, sexual desire is influenced by biology, which would be mainly linked to hormones and the environment, which is related to the most psychological part of the individual. Although it has been proven that most cases of sexual desire problems are due to a non-organic cause and therefore treatable with psychotherapy.
The effects that a lack of sexual desire can generate are different and diverse and will also be influenced by the particular situation and characteristics of each individual. Below we will mention some of the repercussions that the individual or his or her life may experience in the absence of sexual desire.
1. Unsatisfactory sexual relations
The presence of unsatisfactory sexual relations will depend on whether the subject, despite not having sexual desire, performs the sexual act to satisfy the other individual; In this case, a contradiction will occur and the affected subject may feel bad, since He’s really doing something he doesn’t feel like doing and he’s only doing it out of commitment thus generating a situation where a sexual relationship occurs, but the subject does not feel pleasure nor is reinforced.
Since the subject does not have the sexual desire that drives him to want to obtain this pleasure will try to avoid in any way a sensation that is likely to cause sexual intercourse to take place For example, if the individual has a partner, they will try to go to bed afterwards or they may also give excuses of not feeling well or being tired to have a sexual relationship.
3. Feeling of stress and anxiety
As we saw in the previous point, it is common for subjects with a hypoactive sexual desire to refuse to have sexual relations, this lack of sex being one of the effects of the appearance of anxiety and stress, since There is a decrease in endorphin and oxytocin, which are hormones linked to pain relief and a feeling of well-being
As we saw in the previous point, it is common for subjects with a hypoactive sexual desire to refuse to have sexual relations, this lack of sex being one of the effects of the appearance of anxiety and stress, since there is a decrease in endorphin and oxytocin. which are hormones linked to pain relief and a feeling of well-being.
Similarly, The perception of the subject’s lack of desire will also generate more anxiety and stress, thus producing a loop the absence of sexual relationship generates more stress and anxiety and therefore less desire to have sex.
4. Affectation of the couple
If the individual with altered sexual desire has a partner, it is very likely that he or she will be affected, since if the subject manages to satisfy his or her partner’s sexual desire, as we have already mentioned, he will be acting contrary to what he wants Therefore, it will make him feel bad about himself and if he avoids having relationships, the person who will not be well will be his partner, since he will not be able to meet his needs.
In this way, it has been observed that sex increases the bond between the couple, therefore if this behavior does not occur, it is very likely that the relationship will be damaged, they will distance themselves and end up breaking up if a solution is not found. Sexual relationships are what will differentiate a friendship relationship from a relationship and are an important component for greater communication and affection between the subjects that form it.
In the case of a lack of sexual desire we see that the body, despite having an organic component, does not act by increasing this sensation, but rather decreases it even more; that is to say, a low sexual desire generates less sexual desire As we have already pointed out before, not having sexual desire means that we do not seek to have sexual relations and, therefore, this desire continues to decrease, since the psychological influence is much greater.
6. Feeling of guilt
This feeling of guilt typically occurs when the subject has a partner, since, as we mentioned, they are prone to being affected and, therefore, the individual will take the blame for being the cause of the problems or breakup of the relationship It will be more confusing if the affectation is secondary, as we already mentioned, this means that the subject previously had sexual desire, because both the partner and the subject themselves will wonder why the change occurred.
Likewise, even if one is not with another person, there can also be a feeling of guilt, since if a biological cause is ruled out, the subject will believe that he is the cause of the problem, being the reason why sexual desire does not appear, that is That is, he places himself as the cause of the problem and blames himself for being like this. Although, as we have said, the great influence of this alteration is due to factors external to the individual, what his environment has been like and what information he has received about sexuality, how it has been presented to him.
7. Decreased self-esteem
As it appears in many conditions where the patient is aware of his problem it is very likely that there will be a decrease in self-esteem , since the subject believes he is to blame for the situation and the disorder and feels strange and different from others. Furthermore, a necessary criterion for the diagnosis of hypoactive desire is the discomfort or decrease in the individual’s functionality, therefore affecting his self-esteem and how he values ​​himself.
