Everyone feels the need to attract attention at some point in their life, for whatever reason, however there are pathological cases such as people with narcissistic personality disorder.
Although at first others may play along, there comes a time when her circle of friends and family begin to ignore her, something that does not sit well with her.
How a narcissist reacts to rejection is directly related to his idea of personal superiority and below we will see why.
How does a narcissistic person react to rejection?
It is totally normal for any of us to want to be the center of attention at any given moment. Whether because we have achieved an important achievement, because we want to be loved, or simply because we want to stand out with a new style of dress, it is healthy to have the need to receive a little attention, to highlight something we have done. We want to show that we are different, that we have our strengths and we show them off.
However There are certain people who constantly need to be the center of attention, so much so that if someone they want to surprise does not pay attention to them, they simply cannot accept such an event. They also don’t feel very good about the fact that there may be people better than them and, in fact, it is difficult for them to accept the idea that they may be below others. They are people who have a psychological problem, narcissistic personality disorder, and do not accept being rejected or even minimally ignored.
But before understanding how a narcissist reacts to rejection, we must understand what exactly we mean by a person with this type of personality disorder.
What are narcissists like?
According to the DSM-V, narcissistic people are characterized by having a dominant pattern of grandiosity, a continuous need to receive admiration, all combined with a great lack of empathy. This way of being is problematic and begins to emerge in the early stages of adult life
People who have this personality disorder tend to act and behave in a quite characteristic, almost cartoonish way. Believing that they are great and successful, many of them display themselves as true divas. Each one resorts to their own tricks to get attention, but they all agree on achieving the same goal, trying to capture the interest of other people.
They are talkative, charming and seductive, but without the need for romantic intentionality. They have a deeply internalized idea of personal grandeur, something they constantly try to demonstrate with others. They believe they are better, considering their value far above that of their friends and family and, combined with a great lack of empathy, they behave arrogantly and can humiliate those people who supposedly form their circle of loved ones.
They do not accept any criticism. Questioning the grandiosity of themselves that they have been nurturing throughout their adult lives means entering into a crisis, accepting that you are not as perfect as you really think is something that is simply not going to happen. If you are going to talk about another person, it will not be to flatter them or highlight their strengths, but rather to put them down.
Due to their concept of superiority, it is common for pathological narcissists to believe that being part of the lives of others or, rather, allowing others to be part of theirs is like a kind of privilege that has been granted to them. . Anyone who has the “honor” of being in the narcissist’s circle of friends should be grateful for it, and in fact in his mind he conceives it as being indebted, that they really owe him something for such a concession.
As it is logical to think, although at first they manage to attract certain people thanks to their seductive personality, over time the people who make up their circle try to distance themselves from narcissists, since they are difficult to tolerate. The fact that they do not accept criticism and believe they are above others ends up alienating their close circle tired of having to put up with a person who gets angry if he stops being the center of attention.
As we mentioned, people with narcissistic personality disorder have behavior that ends up being unpleasant for the people around them. They behave very arrogantly both with their friends and with their partner, believing themselves to be better than them and also trying to manipulate them. Although they may do it completely unconsciously, it is clear that they do it to satisfy their desires and, if someone escapes their influence, it will cause them to behave in an emotionally disproportionate way.
The way they behave when rejected can be very varied. There are those who resort to aggressiveness, although the normal thing is emotional blackmail, victimhood, and even try to exhibit depressive symptoms in order to awaken feelings of compassion and guilt in those who have rejected them. These behaviors are not at all adaptive or socially appropriate, but they still display them because In many cases they are not aware of the damage they may be causing
What we can extract from all this is that they are people who feel very frustrated when they feel that others have abandoned them. Their way of seeing things is that they never make mistakes and that they don’t deserve to be treated like that, that others are to blame and those who do things wrong. This demonstrates his low level of empathy, his inability to accept criticism and behave in a way that we would consider properly mature and adult.
The way they manage rejection has a direct relationship with their identity. Although they have formed an idea of superiority, that they really believe they are superior to others, it can be said that their identity is rather empty.
They do not have a real identity of their own, but rather a kind of facade with which they present themselves to others, behavior in which they try to project a certain grandiosity that is ultimately sterile. It is for this reason that, if someone rejects them, the artificial image they have created with which they presented themselves to others begins to falter.
What do you interpret as rejection?
We have talked about how a narcissist reacts to rejection, but, really, what do they consider as such? Relating to this type of people can be somewhat dangerous since they are especially susceptible to any sign of inattention, no matter how banal, harmless and unconscious it may be. For example, rejecting calls or text messages from these people, even if it is simply due to carelessness, can cause problems.
As we said, they have a very high idea of themselves and often consider that we interact with them as a kind of privilege that they have given us. Since they believe that we should always be at their disposal, the fact that we do not pay attention to them instantly can make them feel deeply hurt, showing it with anger and indignation They can be especially spiteful and disrespectful toward those they feel have failed them.
For this reason, special care must be taken with these people. As we said, it is not necessarily that they do it on purpose, and we cannot call them bad people since what makes them behave this way is a psychological problem that requires professional help. Therefore, to the extent that we can, we must try to do everything possible to get him to attend a consultation This is going to be complicated but, if you achieve it, it may greatly improve your quality of life and especially that of your circle of acquaintances.
