How Does Emotional Intelligence Apply To Anger Management?
In recent years, social awareness of the importance of emotional intelligence and its influence on our daily lives has increased significantly. The experience of all emotions has begun to be normalized, giving validity to each of them and knowing that each experience entails meaning both at the adaptive level and at the level of emotional balance. Going through all the emotions is part of the human experience, and we must learn to validate them and learn from each one of them.
However, the emotion of anger is still considered one of the most complex emotions, especially when it comes to managing it. It can be an emotion with consequences that are very difficult to manage, and even unpredictable. This does not mean that it is impossible; Emotional intelligence and the techniques derived from it have valuable effects on all emotions, but learning to manage anger is usually a more complicated process than in the case of other more “positive” emotions.
Remember that not all emotions should be given a negative or positive label either; They are simply different experiences that give us value as humans and represent learning situations. In this article, we will discuss how to apply emotional intelligence to anger management, learning techniques to assume this emotion like any other and not allow it to incapacitate us or paralyze its management. These are theoretical-practical principles of emotion regulation that are also taken into account in psychotherapy processes, especially when helping patients with impulsivity problems.
Before entering into specific techniques for the emotional management of anger, it is important to review the general concept of emotional intelligence, to put ourselves in the situation. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others effectively. It involves being aware of our own emotions, knowing how they affect us and influence our actions and decisions. By developing our emotional intelligence, we can acquire skills that allow us to regulate our emotions and adapt to different situations in an adaptive and healthy way.
It is said that emotional intelligence is made up of four main skills to develop to maintain a good and positive ability to manage emotions:
1. Emotional self-knowledge
Emotional self-knowledge facilitates the identification and understanding of our emotions, as well as the triggers that generate them It consists of knowing how to observe ourselves and understand the emotional experiences we face.
2. Emotional self-regulation
Emotional self-regulation involves learning to control our emotional responses, preventing emotional intensity from dominating us and maximizing those emotional reactions that are more adaptive and healthy.
3. Empathy
Empathy involves understand and share the emotions of others promoting better communication and improvement of interpersonal relationships.
4. Social skills
By developing good emotional intelligence, we can use social skills to interact effectively with other people express our emotions assertively and resolve conflicts in a mainly constructive way.
How to manage anger with emotional intelligence techniques
There are various emotional intelligence tools and techniques to manage anger effectively. Anger can be a very invasive emotion, being capable of controlling a large part of our actions and degenerating into behaviors carried out without fully thinking about their consequences. These strategies can help us develop skills for self-regulation and the development of more adaptive responses before triggering anger, but remember that they require practice and patience; nothing can be immediate:
1. Conscious breathing
When we experience anger, our breathing tends to accelerate and the Sympathetic Nervous System can be activated. Practicing conscious breathing involves becoming aware of our breathing and taking slow, deep breaths. This helps reduce tension and stress allowing the anger to gradually dissipate.
Visualization involves imagining calm, peaceful images to counteract anger. You can close your eyes and imagine a serene, safe place, like a beach or a forest, and focus on its sensory details.
3. Assertive communication
Anger often arises as a result of poor communication and, in turn, produces arguments or communication problems that can lead to aggressiveness or passive-aggressiveness. Practicing assertive communication involves learning to express your thoughts and feelings clearly, directly and respectfully, establishing healthy limits for yourself that do not have a negative impact on the other person. This communication can be very positive to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
4. Reflection time
Reflection time means giving yourself a moment to reflect before responding. Anger can be a very impulsive emotion, so learning to pause and step away from the situation helps you calm down and evaluate the communication situation more objectively. You can use this time to think about the consequences of your actions and consider more constructive alternatives to address the problem, avoiding impulsivity or aggressive reaction.
5. Practice empathy
As we have mentioned, empathy means knowing how to put yourself in the shoes of others and trying to understand their perspectives and feelings. Learning to be empathetic means developing more understanding of others, helping to reduce your anger and promoting peaceful conflict resolution.
Live the anger and learn from it
In conclusion, anger is another emotion that should be experienced, but when it can have negative consequences for us and our environment, it is important to learn to control the emotional response so as not to be excessively impulsive and prevent the development of aggressive responses Listen to yourself, reflect, try to calm down and always look for assertiveness; But don’t worry if everything doesn’t work out right the first time. Making mistakes is natural, and learning to manage our emotions is a long and expensive process.
