A young woman attends consultation who moved to Córdoba a few months ago to begin her university studies. “I came alone,” she says, and lists what remained in her hometown: her family, her friends, a love, her house, the school, her teachers, her known places, the square where she walked and shared with friends, the town of where he felt that he had to leave to grow, but that it was his town, his place.
When this young woman made the decision, she did it with a lot of desire and enthusiasm, and yes, also with fears And he wonders if, because he feels fear, uncertainty, and misses his loved ones and familiar places, it was a bad decision to have come to study in another city.
Upon arriving, she found herself in a new place, where everything is to be known, explored and built, and from there, feeling overcome by these new emotions and sensations, she asks herself: “How do I do it?” I will be able?”.
What is immigration grief?
When we talk about grief it is usually associated with death, a loss , that which is no longer in reality, although this process does not always begin with the death of a loved one. In this clinical extract we see other things that can give rise to the grieving process and that have not necessarily ceased to exist.
Grief is a normal painful process that is presented to us as a way of learning to live with absence, which invites us to rebuild ourselves, to put ourselves together again from today, from what is, but also with that which is no longer there. And since it is an emotional process that occurs over time, the person goes through different stages and emotions. It will be at that time where the pain will subside until it almost disappears.
The type of grief presented here is multiple, partial and recurrent. These characteristics in grief appear when a person leaves their place of residence to settle temporarily or permanently in another city or country Moving to a new place involves knowing its particularities: the rhythm and lifestyle, the customs and their internal codes, the language, the climate, the schedule, etc. They can change, and this requires the person to adapt to new ways of living, in order to feel part of this new place over time.
It is presented as a multiple mourning because the life that the person had built in their place of origin is left behind, their family, their friends, their usual places, their customs, their routine are left behind. Since several things are left behind, it is more likely that one of them will be remembered and the person will connect with the absence. Absence that is often made visible by the presence of what is new, but which is a sign for the person of what he left behind.
That it is partial means that everything we leave behind is still there. Unlike other griefs that are presented as a total loss since we cannot find what we lost again, In this case, we can decide to meet again, since that is still there, it does not disappear forever The recurrent characteristic refers to the reactivation that occurs from grief upon re-entry into contact with the origin. This can occur through a visit to our place of origin, a call, or a new habitual place that contrasts with the previous one.
The feeling for a time expressed by those who go through this type of experience (migrate) is of “being between”: the “old” and the “new”, the friends from “before” and those from “now”, the “previous” house ” and the “new”, etc. It is as if they were not from here (new place) but not from there (previous place). Grief is natural and when it occurs in life situations such as a move and change of location, Life becomes necessary, since it helps us adapt to reality without “what is lost.” There are situations where the elaboration of the grieving process is difficult and this may be a reason to consult a psychology professional.
