How Does Life Change After Fatherhood And Motherhood?
Being a father or mother is a very special fact that cannot be compared with any other life experience. However, not all the changes that this new reality entails are positive.
Regardless of each particular situation, there are patterns of change that can negatively alter our daily lives and our personal and social relationships.
On the other hand, there are also other favorable changes that can help us grow as people and improve not only our relationships with our environment, but also with ourselves.
Next, We will analyze in detail what these changes are, both positive and negative, that the arrival of a baby entails
What are the most important life changes that motherhood and fatherhood entail?
Like most circumstances in life, the arrival of a son/daughter is not a radical event that can be seen through black or white patterns. It is rather a process in which moments of emotional and physical well-being alternate with others that are much more exhausting and that can cause alterations in our psyche. Depending on each person, these moments will be more or less long in time and will have a greater or lesser impact on their personal situation.
Furthermore, and like everything that has to do with emotions, the same situation can generate positive and negative reactions at the same time We must be clear that all this is normal and that it is a natural part of the process. Only in serious situations will professional help be required.
Let’s see below some of the most important changes that motherhood and fatherhood entail.
1. The couple’s relationship changes significantly (and it doesn’t have to be for the worse)
Caring for a newborn involves investing a large part of our time. This decreases the chances of being alone with our partner and makes it practically impossible to recover the activities we did together before the baby arrived. On the one hand, these changes can have an unfavorable influence on the relationship, since we can feel nostalgic for the life that “we have lost.”
However, motherhood and fatherhood as a couple can also be a perfect opportunity to share unique moments with our partner, related to raising the child. In this sense, the relationship can be strengthened by the existence of a new source of excitement. Besides, shared tasks can strengthen the bond
2. Facilitates our self-knowledge
The arrival of a baby and the responsibilities that this entails can be beneficial for our self-esteem, since we are forced to learn things that we did not need to know before, and this is a great source of satisfaction and personal fulfillment. Although it may seem silly, the fact of seeing that we have managed to do something as simple as changing a diaper (if we had never done it before) reinforces our perception of ourselves and encourages us to continue learning
Of course, the bond of love that is created between us and our child is highly beneficial for our emotional well-being. On the other hand, we have already commented in the first point how it can help strengthen the couple’s relationship, in the event that motherhood/fatherhood is experienced with a partner. But in addition, the process It can also strengthen the bond with our own parents since we better understand what they had to go through to raise us.
4. It can generate anxiety
This factor cannot be left aside, since, poorly managed, it becomes a tedious obstacle to fully enjoying our motherhood or fatherhood.
It is inevitable that, in the parenting process, anxious moments arise, such as arranging the home perfectly so that the child feels comfortable and safe, which can generate a situation of hypervigilance On the other hand, the arrival of a baby generates a large amount of expenses and requires a replanning of our economy, which can generate anxiety due to the fear of not making ends meet or having to give up things that we like but no longer. we can afford them.
4. It can cause tiredness and irritability
Lack of sleep, derived from the baby’s nocturnal needs, can generate a state of irritability and nerves that make our daily lives difficult, especially if we have to work. Our body and mind suffer from reduced rest and this can lead to emotional disturbances.
5. It can trigger postpartum depression
Postpartum depression is a disorder that affects 10-15% of women and usually appears within six months after giving birth. The symptoms are similar to those of clinical depression, although less intense: sudden crying without apparent explanation, anxiety, avoidance of social contact and the appearance of feelings of hopelessness and demotivation, among others.
Currently, the exact causes of the appearance of this disorder continue to be studied, a phenomenon that may be linked to sudden changes in the secretion of certain hormones after childbirth In any case, if you notice that you are starting to suffer from these symptoms, it is important that you seek professional help.
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If you are interested in psychotherapeutic assistance, contact me.
My name is Blanca Ruiz Muzquiz and I am a psychologist with experience in caring for individual patients, couples and families; I can help you through online therapy sessions via video call wherever you are.
