How does retirement affect your relationship? What can we do, on a psychological level and on a couples therapy level, to improve the situation?
In recent years, we have seen an exponential increase in the number of couples over the age of 65 seeking therapy. This trend indicates that the stigma associated with consulting a psychologist is gradually being overcome. According to Carstensen (2003), as we age, we begin to focus on what is truly valuable, filtering only relevant information and stopping overthinking problems. As we move into old age, we learn to better regulate our emotions and focus more on our relationships with others. In short, emotions begin to play a leading role in our lives.
The retirement marks a significant turning point in the lives of older people; It is an important event that marks a before and after. Although some people may anticipate retirement with excitement and enjoy the freedom and free time it offers, others may experience emotional and psychological challenges during this transition. Here are some things to consider:
Work often plays a central role in identity and provides a sense of purpose and structure in life. The retirement It can lead to a loss of identity for each member of the couple, and can raise questions about who we are now and what our direction in life will be. The most frequently asked questions that are usually seen in therapy are: Who am I now? What will be of my life? During this process of readjustment and redefinition, both individually and as a couple, it is essential to be patient and provide mutual support, promoting healthy spaces where you can explore new ways to enjoy and enrich life together.
Work provides a daily structure, schedules, and goals to meet. The retirement It can disrupt that established structure and routine, which can lead to feelings of loss, boredom, or lack of direction. At the couple level, this aspect can have a significant impact on the relationship, since both individually and as a couple, we benefit from a routine that allows us to keep our goals and objectives under control.
Furthermore, with The retirement, it is common for the couple to spend more time together. This can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and enjoy shared activities, but it can also present challenges if you’re not used to spending so much time together. It’s important to set healthy boundaries, respect individual space, and find a balance between time as a couple and time dedicated to individual interests.
To prevent the cessation of work from negatively affecting the relationship, it would be beneficial to establish new routines, encourage quality time as a couple, and set new goals together, such as taking up a hobby together, exercising together, or traveling. Setting personal and relational goals helps maintain a sense of structure and purpose in daily life.
Changes in communication and emotional connection
The retirement It can provide more time and opportunities for deeper communication and renewed emotional connection between the couple. However, challenges can also arise if underlying issues are not addressed or communication skills are not adapted to the new dynamic. It is essential to maintain open communication, actively listen and express needs and concerns constructively; creating safe communication spaces in which individual discomforts and needs can be addressed.
The retirement It often involves changes in the couple’s financial situation. There may be adjustments in income, financial planning and lifestyle. Financial problems or concerns related to this topic can cause stress and strain in the relationship. It is important to openly and honestly address financial issues and work together to establish a solid financial plan.
Health and emotional well-being:
Some people may experience changes in your emotional well-being during retirement There may be a sense of loss, depression, or anxiety related to changes in life and social roles. It is normal that a period of adjustment is needed to adapt in the best way possible to this new stage of life.
It is essential to have a good social support network, whether with family, partner and/or friends, and if symptoms persist, it is advisable to seek the help of a mental health professional to be able to jointly address any emotional challenges and maintain good mental health.
In summary, the retirement It can be a challenging but also rewarding time for a couple. Open communication, mutual support, and a willingness to adapt and negotiate are essential for coping with changes and building a strong relationship during this stage of life.
