After a couple breakup there is a moment of mourning, a forgetting stage which is necessary to heal the wounds that remain open after goodbye. Each story is different and each person has their own improvement process. However, the first year after the breakup of a stable relationship is very important.
This first year is a personal turning point, it involves the person’s adaptation to a new life, leaving behind all the shared moments and carrying out new dynamics that they previously shared with another person, for example: important personal dates, festivities, family dinners, vacation…
However, the grieving process must stop at some point; it is not good for your health to maintain a depressed state due to a breakup. If you’re still wondering “How long does grief after a breakup last? “We invite you to continue reading this PsychologyFor article.
How long does it take to forget someone?
Forgetting an unrequited love is not the same as forgetting a romantic partner with whom we have spent many moments. It is commonly said that men take less time to get over a breakup than women, but that is not the case. Each person is unique and although there are differences in the behavior between women and men, it is not always a reflection of their real feelings.
Although it is true that you can appreciate very similar phases in all grieving processes For a breakup, there is no set time that marks the end of it. It depends on many variables, such as, for example, the type of relationship you had, whether that person is still in our circle of friends or works with us, whether the breakup was a traumatic process…
It is difficult to know exactly how long grief from a breakup lasts, however, generally, overcoming sadness after a separation usually takes between a few months and a year.
Self discovery process
This first year is a process of self-discovery. Despite having our illusions broken and experiencing emotional disappointment, we can feel firsthand that gratifying experience of living life in each stage with the positive that each moment has, we learn to forget the past and live in the present.
The process of forgetting is marked by sadness, However, this sadness does not prevent us from enjoying happy moments. Throughout this process of self-discovery, we overcome important challenges linked to the process of forgetting and personal improvement. Achieving these goals makes us stronger and increases our self-esteem.
During this stage, we need establish new habits and other routines that they stay away from everything that reminds us of our ex-partner. Therefore, we must strengthen new habits that provide security and emotional independence. The passage of time also helps us observe the couple’s relationship from a greater distance and this perspective can also give us greater objectivity. Over time, we will feel better after the breakup.
pathological grief
There are times when the sadness after separation does not stop with the passage of time. Although it is true that each person has their own grieving process, if this goes beyond the limits and prevents us from leading a normal life, we may be suffering from pathological grief.
This type of grief is defined as an intense, negative and very lasting feeling after a loss. In the case of suffering from pathological grief, we can resort to maladaptive behaviors that do not solve the problem, we could even develop addictions to avoid pain and fill the constant emptiness we feel inside of us. Pathological grief negatively limits our daily lives, prevents personal growth and happiness, and does not allow us to completely overcome the breakup. We must be able to assimilate the loss. Otherwise, if we do not treat it correctly, we will continue to carry this unpleasant feeling.
There are various factors that could be the cause of pathological grief, among the most influential we find the following:
- Insecure personality
- Little resilience
- Low selfsteem
- Little or no social support
- Existence of other mental health disorders
All of them are factors that intervene in the appearance of grief and represent obstacles in personal improvement that prevent us from following our own path. Grief is necessary but it is not healthy for it to become pathological
How to overcome pathological grief?
Assuming that we are living without a partner is the first step to overcoming pathological grief. It seems obvious, however, we can come to cling to the idea that that person will return or that without it we are not happy. It is important to remember that we do not need a better half to complement us, we are strong and independent people in all situations in life.
We can try to overcome pathological grief through self-help exercises that strengthen our self-esteem and give us tools to learn to live away from emotional dependence. Learning to be self-sufficient is also good grief therapy. In this way, we will realize that we do not really need that person that we think we need to be happy.
If we continue to carry pain and suffering after a separation, we should consider consulting a specialist to help us get out of this spiral. Correct psychological therapy It can help us prevent grief from leading to major depression or another affective disorder.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How long does grief after a breakup last? we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.