Don’t you know how to ask for forgiveness? Do you think you don’t have the skills to apologize properly? Discover the keys to knowing how to ask for forgiveness and benefit from an apology.
Know ask for forgiveness It’s more than just “I’m sorry.” It is necessary to sincerely repent, assume our responsibility and some more investment. We all make mistakes and make mistakes, it is the law of life. The thing is that sometimes our mistakes have consequences not only for us, but also for the people around us. And that is when knowing how to ask for forgiveness makes a difference, since if it is not done in the appropriate way, it can deteriorate or end the relationship.
When disappointment appears, a wound reopens or someone simply feels offended by what happened, a “I’m sorry” is usually not enough. To repair the damage caused, we must assume our responsibility for what happened and know how to manage the emotional universe. However, we are not always willing, or at least it is not so easy for us. Let’s see below what science says about it and how to apologize appropriately.
Why do we find it difficult to ask for forgiveness?
Despite being aware that we are not perfect, there are those who find it difficult to accept their mistake and how consequence ask for forgiveness In most cases, this happens because by accepting the mistake, the idealized image we have of ourselves is broken. Therefore, it is easier to put on a blindfold to justify yourself than to accept what happened and for our ego to suffer.
In other cases, ask for forgiveness It is associated with perceiving oneself as weak and sometimes even invalid, especially if one’s self-esteem is resentful. Here a mistake is a great weight, a reminder of how complicated it is to do things well and a reason to justify the poor concept one has of oneself.
To this we must add the low levels of empathy that some people have, which prevents them from putting themselves in the shoes of others and asking themselves how they may feel. In the end, for ask for forgiveness We must transcend our egocentrism, our selfishness and that need we have for the people around us to agree with our perception of reality. Beyond being right or not, we must take into account the consequences of our actions on others and try to adopt a more humble posture.
Keys to asking for forgiveness
Asking for forgiveness is the cornerstone of human relationships, without it it is difficult for a relationship to move forward. In fact, apologies In time it saves not only friendships, but also relationships, work and family. That’s why it’s so important to know how to do it.
In relation to this, a study carried out by psychologists Roy Lewick, Beth Polin and Robet B. Lount confirms that not all forms of asking for forgiveness are effective and also points out the keys to knowing how to apologize They are the following.
1. Express how we feel
The first step is not ask for forgiveness As such, we must feel true regret and be aware of our mistake and its consequences. That is, we have to feel the apology and express how we feel.
To do this, it is necessary to break with the idea that doing so is a sign of weakness otherwise it cannot be done or if it is done it will be very forced and the other person will notice it, therefore increasing the damage.
2. Explain what happened
It is necessary to explain clearly and in detail what has happened. It is the least we can do for the other person so that they understand what happened. And if it is in person, much better than by phone or any other way. Eye contact is essential time to apologize as it allows for greater connection and emotional transparency.
3. Take responsibility
Perhaps one of the most difficult steps to time to ask for forgiveness, since not everyone is willing to assume their share of responsibility for what happens. However, it is one of the most important, since it implies the recognition of authorship, of having made a mistake. It can be a “it was my fault” accompanying the description of the errors or mistakes, although the most assertive thing would be “I am responsible for what happened.”
Be that as it may, assuming responsibility implies recognizing that how one has acted has consequences and one is aware of them, in addition to serving as a reflection exercise to prevent it from happening again.
4. Say what we regret
It is not enough to say that we regret it if we are not honest or specify what it is that we should not have done or our forgiveness It is followed by excuses. The other person expects an explanation and, in most cases, to make sure that the damage is truly intended to be repaired. Therefore, we must be honest when expressing it. And if that is not the case, it is better not to do it.
To the time to ask for forgiveness it is necessary to listen to the other person: how they feel, what they think, how what happened has affected them… Empathizing with the person who has been harmed is key not only to understand the consequences of what we have done. , but so that you understand that we care and that our repentance is true.
Just as it is also important to explain what you intend to do to repair the damage Well, there are those who are very skilled in words, but when it comes down to it, they don’t act. The truth is that no apology is effective if it is not taken to the field of action, that is, if there is no commitment.
6. Ask for forgiveness
According to the researchers of the study, this would be the most dispensable step of all, although that does not mean we should ignore it.
It is recommended that in a sorry all the previously mentioned aspects appear: a face-to-face dialogue in which we explain what happened, how we feel and how we intend to solve it, along with a sincere forgiveness.
Only in this way will it be possible for a apology transcends, although what happens next no one knows. They may forgive us and give us another chance or they may not. The point is that we are prepared for both situations, both to try not to make the same mistakes and to accept their consequences. Because admitting a mistake and asking for forgiveness not only frees us, but also helps us continue to grow and evolve.
