How To Avoid Premature Ejaculation: Tips And Techniques

Sensuality and sexuality are important parts of our being In addition to being a means of obtaining pleasure and physical gratification and being an essential part of the mechanism through which we propagate the species, these elements are deeply linked to the way in which we relate, to the point of being in a great In some cases an important point in couple relationships.

However, sometimes some people have some type of difficulty within this area, such as erectile dysfunction, hypoactive sexual desire, aversion to sex, anorgasmia, vaginismus or premature ejaculation.

The latter is one of the most frequent sexual problems in men, and is often experienced with guilt and shame, in addition to being a difficulty in their relationships. How to avoid premature ejaculation? Throughout this article we are going to discuss some of the most used techniques in sexual therapy to prevent or delay the moment of climax.

Before we start: what do we call premature ejaculation?

We consider premature ejaculation or rapid ejaculation to be those situations in which the man always or almost always ejaculates, either before penetration or around one or three minutes (the base criterion would be one minute) from the beginning of this, ejaculation occurring. sooner than desired without the subject being able to delay it and which can cause negative consequences for him or his relationship.

Although the definition itself and the concern of a large part of the men who suffer from it may focus on the duration, The truth is that it should also be noted that the difficulty lies in the absence of control

Among the difficulties it may entail may be conflicts in the relationship, loss of self-esteem, shame, guilt, worry or even avoidance of sex. It is common for there to be resistance to recognizing the problem due to fear of rejection and social ridicule, although it is a condition that in many cases can be treated successfully.

This is one of the so-called sexual dysfunctions, understood as all those alterations in the sexual response cycle that do not allow participation in the relationship in the way that the subject would like or that imply the appearance of pain during sexual relations and that cause discomfort. at a subjective level for the individual or in the relationship. Specifically, it is the second most common in men, only behind erectile dysfunction. In this case, we would be facing an orgasmic type dysfunction

It is necessary to take into account that for the existence of premature ejaculation to be considered a dysfunction, it is necessary that this difficulty occurs continuously or in around three quarters of the relationships maintained for at least six months, since otherwise it will occur. It would be a specific or sporadic sexual difficulty.

Furthermore, it must be taken into account that the problem can be generalized or restricted to a specific couple or situation, and that aspects such as base self-esteem, anxiety, insecurity, the personality of the person who suffers from it or their partner, and the type of relationship they have, medical problems or even cultural and religious elements.

Main causes

Premature ejaculation can have multiple possible causes which can be both biological and psychological.

At an organic level, some of the causes may be the presence of injuries, diseases or a side effect of the consumption of some drugs or medicines. Also due to a possible neurological predisposition, which is the most common organic cause.

It is more common, however, to find that the causes of premature ejaculation are psychological, among which the lack of psychosexual skills, problems in the relationship or high impulsivity and anxiety stand out.

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In addition to this and largely linked to the causes, it is possible to establish the existence of different types of premature ejaculation.

There are cases in which the person has had this difficulty throughout their life and since the first sexual relationship, something that usually correlates more with a problem of organic origin. It is possible that there are alterations or injuries in the nerve pathways that control ejaculation or that there is some type of genetic inheritance. The criterion in this type of case is that to be premature, ejaculation occurs within one minute. In these cases, pharmacological treatment may be beneficial.

Another of the most common types is the type acquired throughout life, which can have mixed causes between biological and psychological or directly psychological (in which case it is established in a reduction in duration to around three minutes or less)

Another group is made up of men who have a latency within normality for much of the time with some occasional rapid ejaculation, or restricted to a specific partner or situation. In this case we would be in a problem of psychological origin.

Finally, there are also men who consider that they suffer from premature ejaculation but who may nevertheless have a typical or even superior ejaculatory capacity than usual. In this case the difficulty would be at a psychological level or at the level of the relationship with the couple. In general It is considered average when it comes to penetration time before ejaculation It is seven minutes in men up to thirty years old, reducing with age.

Basic program for this and other sexual dysfunctions

We have already mentioned that rapid or premature ejaculation is considered one of the main sexual dysfunctions. The treatment of this and other disorders in the same group can vary greatly depending on each case and its characteristics.

However, different researchers have developed a basic sexual therapy methodology that allows working on all sexual dysfunctions while incorporating specific techniques for the problem in question in different phases. Specifically, the basic program consists of the following phases.

1. Non-genital sensory focus

This first phase of the program is based on performing erotic massages, without stimulating the genitals at any time. Both members of the couple will take turns, so that both alternate between a more active role and a more passive/receptive one, at least three times and covering the entire body. The massage can be given with different parts of the body, and in different locations, including bed and shower

The person receiving the massage and caresses can indicate whether they like it or not, guide their partner and even lead their hand. But in this phase you can never stimulate the partner’s genital area, nor will you seek penetration or orgasm. The objective is to learn to focus on bodily sensations, in addition to learning that the sexual encounter is not only the moment of orgasm. It also helps curb impulses.

2. Genital sensory focus

This second phase is probably the most complex, and It is in this that the specific techniques for the case of rapid or premature ejaculation will be introduced

In the same way as in the previous phase, massages are performed, varying the person who gives and receives them, at least three times. In this case, however, contact with the genitals and achieving orgasm is allowed, but penetration is not.

3. Vaginal containment

The third phase of the basic program is a continuation of the previous one but in this case performing the caresses at the same time On this occasion penetration is allowed. However, containment must be performed (with the specific techniques that will be explained later) on at least three occasions before reaching orgasm, which must also be outside the body of the receiving party (whether vagina, anus or mouth).

Positions will be used in which the person receiving the penetration is on top or located laterally.

4. Vaginal containment in motion

The last phase of the basic program is an extension of the previous sequence, in which different positions and types of sexual practice will also be tested.

Specific techniques to delay ejaculation

Throughout the previous sequence we have mentioned on several occasions the application of specific techniques depending on the type of sexual problem that may exist. In the case of so-called premature ejaculation, These types of techniques are based on the person who suffers from gradually acquiring greater body awareness of their sensations while learning to maintain greater control over them.

In this sense, two of the most common specific techniques are mentioned below, which can be trained both as a couple and in masturbation (it is possible to start with solo masturbation and then incorporate the partner), although they were generally designed for practice as a couple. The ideal is to perform them in masturbation until you achieve some control, and at that point begin to incorporate them into penetrative relationships.

1. Stop and start technique

One of the most common and well-known specific techniques is the stop-start technique. This technique is based on stimulating the penis until reaching the point or moment prior to ejaculation, at which point you must stop stimulating the penis. There is a stop that lasts around two minutes. After that, the same technique is repeated up to three times. In the last case you can continue until you ejaculate.

This technique aims to train the person to recognize penile sensations and begin to establish a certain control over them , something that over time may translate into an increase in the duration of penetration. It can be done during masturbation or during penetration, and is usually the most recommended in the vaginal containment phase with movement.

2. Compression technique

The second most common and well-known specific technique is the compression technique, in which the aim is to reach the point prior to ejaculation through stimulation and at that moment compress the glans with the fingers, for between fifteen or twenty seconds. This exercise must be repeated up to three times before finally ejaculating

A variant is the basilar compression technique , in which the part of the penis that is compressed is not the glans but the base of the shaft of the penis, around the point where it joins the testicles. It is usually more recommended in vaginal containment without movement, or in masturbation.

Other techniques to consider

Beyond the above, people who suffer from rapid or premature ejaculation can benefit from other techniques, not so directly linked to sexual intercourse itself.

First of all, those of relaxation stand out, in those cases in which there is great anxiety. Sexual education and psychoeducation may also be necessary to combat myths and beliefs that may be dysfunctional and make it difficult to cope with the difficulty. Another element to take into account is couples therapy and work on communication between its components.

Likewise, in some cases the application of drugs and elements such as anesthetic creams that reduce sensitivity may also be considered, although these must be prescribed by a professional and are not always recommended.