How To Avoid Stagnation In Your Relationship: 6 Key Tips
Given that relationships are one of the most important areas of life for those who are part of one, it is normal that many problems capable of harming us emotionally can also appear through this channel.
However, not all relationship problems have to go hand in hand with emotional pain itself, as we usually understand it. Sometimes, what is problematic is precisely the absence of intense feelings and emotions, and a clear example of this is stagnation in the couple.
In this article we will see some Tips on how to deal with stagnation in relationships as well as an explanation about what this phenomenon consists of.
In the context of psychology in the field of emotional relationships, stagnation in a couple is always a form of emotional stagnation This means that it has to do with the aspects of the relationship that should be giving us hope and motivating us to continue cultivating that bond with the other person, and that for some reason, no longer exist or are very weak.
Thus, we are not talking about stagnation in the couple if, for example, two people have been living together for many years under the same material conditions, nor if they have been dating for decades and never get married, nor is it something related to any change that may occur at the level objective: note that in all these cases what changes is not the emotional bond itself, but non-essential aspects of the relationship (which are also linked to a concept of “progress” of the relationship that is questionable, or at least not valid for all people). The stagnation we talk about here It is totally linked to emotions, and not so much to social conventions about what is supposed to be expected from a courtship or marriage
People who suffer discomfort due to stagnation in their relationship do not feel excited about the prospect of continuing in that relationship because they notice that staying in it does not give them the feeling that good things are to come, and that the emotions and feelings that come to them through that facet of their daily lives are dispensable or so predictable that they can be ignored. Thus, Boredom is usually feelings associated with stagnation in the couple
Tips to avoid stagnation in relationships
It is clear that there are no magic recipes when it comes to solving the problems that a couple’s relationship may experience, and that one cannot hope to get out of emotional or cohabitation crises without adapting the solutions to the particular context of each marital or dating relationship.
Precisely for that reason, The most effective way (by far) to improve this type of relationship is to go to a psychologist given that in this way you have the support and supervision of a professional expert on the subject, who also proposes a training program in communication and emotional management skills adapted to each case, whether in individual therapy sessions or in sessions with both members of the couple present.
However, that does not mean that there are not a series of measures to apply to increase the possibility of getting a relationship back on the right path, causing it to get out of stagnation. They do not guarantee success, but they make us more inclined to reconnect emotionally with others by adopting new habits and new ways of thinking and expressing ourselves. Here we will see several of these psychological keys in the form of advice.
To make the relationship gain strength again and have the inertia it had before, It is important to set medium and short-term goals ; Something as simple as putting on the table a plan of activities to do together can provide that start that you need. Think that these shared experiences are also topics of conversation and memories that unite us and that allow you to expect pleasant sensations, projecting yourself into the future.
To achieve this, start by each making a list of interests ordered from most to least important, and then see how they fit together. In this way it will be easier to detect those common points that you may have forgotten or overlooked due to the monotony of what you have been doing.
2. Stop and think about whether there are taboo topics that keep the relationship cold
The fear of opening avenues of conversation about topics that affect you most intimately can lead you to adopt a distant attitude with the other person, even if you do not realize it That is why it is important to agree on a time and place to talk about these things, making it clear that there is no prejudgment and that not in all cases a consensual solution must be adopted (there are aspects that only concern one of the parties).
3. If necessary, experiment sexually
It is possible that the stagnation has also been noticeable in the area of sexuality But intimate relationships of this type are one of the most interesting sources of satisfaction not only in the world of immediate sensations, but also in relation to expectations about what the week we are in has to offer us, for example. . Innovate in this aspect of your lives, but do so without fixed schedules that are repeated week after week.
These projects They don’t have to be professionals but it does involve a chain of intermediate objectives and goals that can last for months or years. This means is also a way to continue getting to know the person we love through other facets.
5. Unblock conflicts
Entrenched conflicts can lead you to adopt a passive-aggressive attitude that turns the relationship into barren territory Developing communication skills to seek consensus and put aside resentment over past discussions is essential in these cases. Therefore, agree to talk about this at a specific time and place, making clear two basic rules: do not shout, do not make reproaches, and do not look for blame or penance, but rather for solutions and acts of reparation where they are necessary.
6. Think about the non-inetability of that relationship
Although it may seem contradictory, being aware that we can decide to end the relationship at any time helps unblock the situation. Not only is it essential to avoid toxic relationships, but it leads us to adopt a constructive mentality, instead of a passive and resigned one
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