How To Be A Single Mother? 11 Psychological Tips For Having A Child Alone

More and more women are deciding of their own free will to be single mothers despite knowing the disadvantages and inconveniences at work, economic or even social. The maternal drive can overcome the vast majority of obstacles.

The standard family model has changed especially in the last two decades. The number of women who choose to be a single mother without the need for a partner has increased exponentially in recent years. Sociocultural acceptance is going at a snail’s pace and this invites many women to the need to legitimize their decisions with their family.

The women’s revolution focused on personal growth and success at work are factors that have influenced family management. Raising a child is not a punishment but a desire. There is no instruction manual for it, but the desire to make it happen and love can do almost anything. It is an act of bravery, courage and empowerment to do the work alone despite being aware of the repercussions on many levels and it is also something that a man cannot do even in his dreams.

“There are many women who separate in order to be mothers because their partner does not want to have children, women who have always felt like mothers or who are tired of waiting for that prince or princess charming, that romantic love that they sell us and that does not arrive.”

What are single mothers like?

The profile of women who decide be single mothers They are mature women, between 30 and 40 years old with a medium-high academic level and with a medium-high economic level.

Job stability is also a factor to take into account when making this important and crucial decision. The single mothers They do not usually deny the desire to have a partner and be able to make joint decisions, but they usually advocate individual motherhood and later incorporate a partner if life puts them in the way.

Once the dilemma of moving forward with the decision to be a single mother A feeling of strength and empowerment invades them, since from this moment on there is a stranger who depends 100% on them in every way. The dedication that mothers naturally offer to their children, in the case of a single mother, is intensified by the fact that she is the only one responsible for any decision or care that affects them.

Although the situation becomes difficult when everything falls on a single person, it is true that many single mothers Those who don’t have a partner to support them are doing great. They are aware that their choice is the most appropriate and authentic and has nothing to do with the traditional socially approved model.

Is there help to be a single mother?

It seems that in some autonomous communities they have not yet been updated, but in many others they do allow access to reproduction assisted by Social Security. In this field, the solo motherhood It is a reality that takes center stage. This is a mature and deeply considered option and choice and the desire to be a mother is materialized either through egg donation, artificial insemination or assisted reproduction and even the vitrification of eggs to carry out the pregnancy in the future. .

How to be a single mother? Tips for new mothers

If you have decided to be a single mother we recommend that you take into account the following advice in the face of the adversity that this decision entails:

1. Don’t neglect your personal care: Many single mothers They end up neglecting their own personal care in response to the needs of their children. This is a mistake, since only when a person feels rested and good about themselves is they able to be better with their children. It is normal that as a single mother you put your children’s needs first and put your own needs aside, but the reality is that doing this routinely will end up harming both you and others. If you think you are neglecting yourself on a personal level, you may require the help of a professional psychologist.
2. Join forces with other single parents: Finding people who are also in this situation will help you not only to have extra emotional support, but also to organize babysitting exchanges, play dates, and even carpools.
3. Accept help from others: There are many cases in which single mothers They try to take on the role of superheroes and end up trying to do everything themselves. Probably, even if you have decided to be a single mother, you should keep in mind that there are many people by your side who care about you and your children and want to help you. There is no shame in asking for help as well as accepting assistance from loved ones. No one will perceive you as weak and/or incompetent because of it.
4. Plan for emergencies: As single mother, you must organize yourself so as not to suffer too much stress in emergency situations. In these cases, it’s good to have a list of people you know you can call at any time if you have an emergency.
5. Create a routine: Establishing a routine is crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This effect is more important when it comes to a single-parent home. If the child travels between homes or has multiple caregivers, life can seem extremely chaotic and unpredictable. Therefore, establishing a routine can help you not only make your children feel more comfortable, but also make your life easier. be a single mother
6. Stay positive: Sometimes things will become more difficult. Although extreme positivity can even be negative, the reality is that it is okay to change your perspective when the situation gets ugly. Especially in the case of be a single mother, since on many occasions your children will be able to detect even the slightest change in your attitude. So, when responsibilities seem overwhelming, try to focus on the positive things in life, such as your friends and family.
7. Get over ‘guilt’: It’s impossible to act like both parents, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, it is crucial to let go of the things you can’t do as a single mom. Instead, focus on what you can provide to your children as single
8. Answer the questions honestly: If your children have questions about your home situation, it is important to be honest about it. Even so, you must adapt to the age of your children to be able to explain the truth of what happened and how the circumstances occurred that caused you to become a single mother
9. Treat children like children: Sometimes, in the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to try to talk things over with your son or daughter. In these cases you should know that your children are not prepared for these types of more adult conversations and this will not help you or them. If you think that you depend too much on your children in these cases, it is important to look for friends, family or even go to a psychologist who can talk about your problems.
10. Find role models: Sometimes we require some inspiration to be able to address the problems we may face. first time mothers In these cases, it may be ideal to find a role model through both books and conferences.
11. Be affectionate and praise: Your children require love and praise daily. In the case of a single mother Sometimes there may be difficulties in being more present in your children’s lives. Therefore, you should try to pay them enough attention when you can be with them. Quality time is much more valuable.

Being a single mother It is a difficult responsibility to assume. Without the help of a partner or partner to turn to, single parents have many more responsibilities to take on. Even so, studies in this regard show that growing up in a single-parent home does not have a negative effect on children’s school performance or development. As long as the family is stable, children can be happy and successful in their lives.