Emotional strength is the ability that allows us to face different situations, adequately managing and controlling our emotions in order to achieve our goals.
It is not about not feeling emotions, but rather feeling them and being able to find the balance between the positive and negative ones to benefit from them There are different strategies that can be useful to train emotional strength.
In this article We will talk about what emotional strength is and what strategies we can use to increase this capacity
By stating that someone is emotionally strong, we were not referring to showing intense emotions, but quite the opposite. We will consider that A subject has emotional strength when he is able to manage his emotions and face different situations without his emotional state becoming unbalanced
Although it is impossible not to be influenced by our emotions (And it would not be functional if this happened either), it is beneficial to achieve some control over them. Being able to value our emotions from a distance and try to have a more rational and objective vision of the situation, since in this way it will be easier for us to avoid getting stuck in unimportant problems or to effectively solve those that can have a solution.
It is normal that in the face of stressful situations, in the face of adverse events, we initially react badly or appear affected. Now, to be able to face the most problematic events and get out of crisis situations, It is essential that we act by learning to manage our psychological processes and not be passive
The term most closely linked to emotional strength is resilience, understood as the ability that some subjects show to develop and progress favorably even in crisis situations. These individuals who appear resilient are capable of showing greater emotional balance in the face of stressful events: losing their job, having to emigrate, etc.
Thus, emotional strength allows us to adequately face the different problems or difficult events in our lives. The only way to overcome a complicated situation is for us to take control of our lives and really want to improve. Identifying and accepting the problem is essential for the change process
Strategies to be an emotionally strong person
As we have already seen, emotional strength is considered a capacity, and as such not all subjects present it in the same way. Obviously, not all people are emotionally strong, and there are some who will be more predisposed than others. But Although there may be genetic influence, it is not decisive and it is possible to train this ability to achieve a higher level and mastery of it.
Let’s see what techniques can be useful to us to become emotionally stronger.
1. Know yourself
To gain emotional strength, the first thing is to know our emotions and be aware of them In this way, it is necessary that we do not run away from ourselves and spend time getting to know ourselves, knowing how we feel, what our state is and what the appropriate way to proceed is.
We usually live only focused on the outside, on everything that surrounds us, without paying attention to what is happening inside us. Without self-knowledge it is very unlikely that we will be able to adequately confront challenging situations, since we will not understand the reason for our reactions nor will we be able to anticipate them to a certain degree.
2. Accept any type of sensation
Denying or prohibiting us from having negative sensations or emotions is not functional since contrary to what was intended, this denial ends up giving more importance to negative emotions and does not let them disappear.
In the same way, negative emotions are not dysfunctional by themselves , and they help us know how we are, telling us that it is time to make a change if we want to improve. That is, they act as an indicator of our state.
3. Consider difficulties as challenges
An appropriate way to face the difficulties and complicated situations in which we find ourselves is to present them as challenges, as objectives that we must overcome It is common that when faced with a stressful situation we become blocked and do not know how to act. It is at this point when it is important to stay active and face the situation by seeing what possibilities for improvement exist and what are the different alternatives that we can adopt.
Also note that there are times where the situation is out of our hands and we cannot do anything to change it, the best option in this case will be to work on our emotions and modify the perception and assessment we make of the facts. It is useless to waste our strength on something that is invariable.
4. Be flexible
Many times we cannot solve a problem because we are not able to see it differently and We only evaluate a single possibility, without taking into account all the multiple alternatives that there may be. Emotional strength is linked to mental flexibility, with the ability to distance ourselves from our emotions, the situation in which we find ourselves and how we feel in order to be able to propose another way of conceiving the situation that is more functional and with greater possibility of improvement.
Life is a continuum of new situations, some good and others not so good, not adapting to changes is an impediment for you to continue evolving and developing favorably.
5. Don’t blame yourself for everything
We know that when faced with a problem it is functional to accept our part of the responsibility in order to be able to face it. But This implication should not be understood as a way of blaming oneself since guilt in itself is neither useful nor works, it often sinks us further instead of giving us strength to achieve improvement.
By continually punishing ourselves and blaming ourselves, we will not make the situation improve. Subjects with emotional strength are aware of their actions and take responsibility for them, but always respecting and loving themselves. It is impossible to be strong if we ourselves do not allow ourselves to be strong.
6. Look for the balance between the rational and the emotional
As we saw in the definition of emotional strength, to be able to cope with different situations, one of the strategies used consists of observing events with perspective to achieve greater control of our emotions and evaluate the facts more rationally.
Both logic and emotions are necessary and functional for the correct development of our lives , but as with most variables, the optimal point will be balance. That is, acting with the influence of both, but without letting ourselves be carried away by only one of them.
Don’t let fear or insecurities paralyze you; Being emotionally strong also means facing our goals despite the adversities or difficulties we may encounter. As we saw previously, we should not see difficulties as insurmountable walls but as challenges that we can achieve.
We can have multiple targets placed sequentially, like this There will be some that will take longer to achieve and others that will require less complexity and will be achieved more easily The latter help keep us motivated to achieve the former.
8. Stay motivated
To achieve and maintain emotional strength it is essential that we stay motivated, that we set objectives and goals to achieve. To increase emotional strength it is essential to train self-motivation skills to face the different situations that may occur and manage to overcome them and emerge stronger from them.
As we already saw, we will not only pursue big goals, small objectives are also essential to stay active and strong to continue progressing.
Related article: “Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources”
9. Also value the positive
Sometimes, and more so when we are not going through a good time, we only focus on the negative, without taking into account the positive events that happen to us. We know that in life not everything is positive or negative and we must be aware of this.
Seeing that positive events continue to happen, no matter how small, when we are in a bad moment, helps us stay motivated and continue to be strong emotionally and mentally. For exercise our focusing of attention and to make it increasingly easier for us to value the good things, spend a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect and think about three positive things that have happened and what your contribution has been to them.
10. Get rid of negative influences that do not contribute to you
To achieve greater emotional and mental balance It is necessary that the environment that surrounds us is adequate So, whenever you can, getting rid of everything that harms you and does not bring you anything good will contribute to your emotional balance. Stay away from environments and people that destabilize you and do not help you face and manage different situations optimally.
