Toxic people are those who, in a wide variety of situations, will take us with them to situations of domination or hostility and confrontation. Some may be better than others at disguising the fact that they are a bad influence, but generally, in most cases it doesn’t take much work to notice how easily they create situations in which someone is harmed.
Despite this, it is clear that as a simple matter of probability, it is impossible to always stay away from this type of people. In certain circumstances, you have to relate to them, even if it is in contexts that you yourself have not looked for. In this article we will see how to behave towards toxic people
How to deal with toxic people
It is true that each person is, in part, a product of the circumstances in which they have lived. We can hardly say that someone is the way they are because they have decided to behave that way.
We have a certain margin of maneuver to decide what to do in each situation, but also We are greatly influenced by our personality and the way in which we have learned to relate to each other with the environment and with others. We are conditioned by elements that escape our will.
However, in practice, not all of us have enough time and resources to take on the responsibility of re-educating the toxic people around us. That’s why It is useful to know what to do on a day-to-day basis when it comes to dealing with them Let’s see it through the following tips.
1. Don’t give them undeserved attention
In many cases, the negative attitudes transmitted by toxic people are only a way to gain power of influence by getting people around them to become emotionally involved in conflicts, ideally by joining their side. Generate problems where there are none through fictions based on lies or exaggerations
Therefore, in these cases the best thing is precisely to ignore these attempts to position ourselves for or against a non-existent conflict beyond the imagination of the toxic person.
2. Don’t take it personal
Some toxic people have a tendency to talk badly about others. In these cases, the best option is indifference. Staying away from these ideas is a good way to not give them the importance they lack, while avoiding the possibility of generate the confrontation that would appear if these ideas were questioned which would only feed the hostile climate that this type of attitude favors.
3. Learn to take control of the conversation
Unless the toxic person has a role that clearly allows them to make decisions that affect you, such as if they are your boss, you can limit yourself to not letting them impose their dominance in the dynamics of the conversation.
For it, get the dialogue back on track when you want to change the subject according to your interests, and ignore any comment that does not have to do with what the conversation should theoretically be about.
4. Be clear about the red lines
Although as a general rule indifference is the best recipe for dealing with toxic people, it is also necessary to know what types of actions or attitudes are unacceptable. Things like physical attacks, attempts to publicly humiliate someone, or spreading serious lies to defame someone are examples of this, regardless of whether they are something that is done continuously or not
5. Pay attention to his attempts to redeem himself
The fact that someone can be defined as a toxic person does not mean that they will always behave in an unethical and immoral manner. Reality is beyond fictional stories in which the good guy is very good and the bad guy is very bad.
Therefore, even they can show signs of repentance, trying to redeem themselves. In these cases, yes It is good to reward these efforts and adopt a more approachable and empathetic attitude with them. Hopefully, learning to behave in these ways can improve the way you relate to others.
However, in the absence of these cases, it is best to follow the following advice.
6. By default, ignore them
Ignoring them is the default option. This does not mean that you should ignore them, since this can be considered a form of abuse if, for example, you don’t even respond to anything they say. It also does not mean that you should avoid them in a literal sense, because this would greatly condition your lifestyle, on the one hand, and on the other you would give them importance.
The most appropriate thing is, in general, to react only to those actions on your part that are clearly good and admirable, or to those that, given the context, are necessary because the purpose of these interactions benefits you or benefits more people. For example, at work, in managing procedures, etc.