How To Change The Internal Dialogue And Stop Negative Thoughts?
Sometimes our inner voice is too loud. Other times, it becomes exhaustingly insistent. And we all know that it is not easy to silence it or change it, since our mind is immersed in constant activity, developing thoughts and judgments about our existence and what surrounds us.
Very often, this internal dialogue focuses on making judgments about ourselves. Phrases like “I am a disaster” or “I am the worst” will not sound too strange to us, since, in general, we have a fairly negative internal dialogue, which translates into very unpleasant sensations that can make us uncomfortable and/or generate some anxiety. .
But like everything that has to do with the mind, this can be modified, and we can realize that many of the things we are telling ourselves have no basis in reality. In this article we are going to see how to change our internal dialogue.
The way our inner voice judges our actions is closely linked to our learning. That is to say, if when we make a mistake on an exam we say to ourselves “I’m a disaster”, we are applying foundations learned previously, during our childhood.
To understand all this, it is necessary to clarify that our view of the world is never real , but rather it is filtered by our own interpretation. And where did we get this interpretation from? We have already mentioned it: from all the information that our mind has assimilated during our growth, whether from the family and school environment, our culture, our emotional experiences, etc.
From this learning, what are called cognitive schemes are generated in psychology, constructed ideas that have been developed from our own experience and that, ultimately, will shape our view of the world. In this way our entire internal dialogue is constructed, which, as we will see below, contains certain distortions.
Our internal dialogue has cognitive distortions
Indeed; We could say, plain and simple, that our internal dialogue sometimes deceives us. This is not an intentional lie, but one built on erroneous bases of interpretation. For example, if one day I call a friend and he answers me very curtly (simply because he has argued with his partner and is in a bad mood), we can tell ourselves that this friend is upset with us and start thinking about it. the cause. That is a cognitive distortion, since we do not consider other possibilities.
Cognitive distortions are very varied but here we summarize the most frequent ones:
Is it possible to stop negative self-talk?
The good news is that yes, like everything related to the mind, internal dialogue can be “reprogrammed.” As it is based on cognitive schemes learned during our learning process, if we reconfigure these schemes we will be changing our way of seeing life.
The key is that The way we tend to move from one thought to another, from one idea to another, is also a part of the memory system that shapes our identity, the way we perceive ourselves and our lives; That is why, if we weaken certain associations between the elements that shape our way of “activating” concepts and memories that make us think in a way that is too biased towards pessimism, we will be fighting that negative internal dialogue that limits us. Let’s see some tips to achieve it.
Some of the strategies that can help us restructure our internal dialogue are the following:
1. Become aware of our actions
If we look, after negative internal dialogue there will always be dysfunctional behavior. For example, if we made a mistake in our lines during a theater course, it is likely that we will not return for fear of making a fool of ourselves. This action would therefore be preceded by a phrase such as “I am useless”, which has a high load of cognitive distortion. At the same time that we become aware of the consequences of the phrases we say to ourselves, we have to pay attention to the emotions that they awaken in us. How we feel? Ashamed? Angry? Sad?
2. Question our thinking
Once we have become aware of how we react to that thought, we will be able to analyze if it has a real foundation. “I’m useless”. That’s right? Is there nothing in life that we don’t do well? We have forgotten the lines of the work, but the other day we painted a painting so beautiful that people congratulated us…
Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy is based on this process of cognitive restructuring, through which the irrational ideas learned are reformed so that we can respond in a more functional way to reality.
3. Acceptance
There are other strategies, such as the one based on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) that rather choose to allow these cognitive distortions to appear, even though they entail a certain degree of discomfort (which can be variable), and continue moving forward. with our values. This It is achieved through a series of tools that configure psychological flexibility ; For example, Mindfulness helps us focus our attention on the present moment and experience it without prejudging it.
Psychological therapy is the most effective solution to change internal dialogue. Personalized professional attention makes it possible to adapt to the needs and particularities of each individual.
