How To Combat Anxiety Due To Separation From A Partner: 3 Keys

It is a reality that divorces and breakups are becoming more common. While a few decades ago both social pressure and the desire for romantic relationships to last indefinitely made the idea of ​​separating unattractive, today the costs associated with going their separate ways are much lower, and the advantages are increasingly greater. further.

And with the liberalization of emotional ties come new options when it comes to facing the future individually and unilaterally, but this fact is not without problems. Separation anxiety is one of them Ultimately, even though ending a relationship is becoming less and less rare, in most cases it is still an anxiety-inducing and unpleasant experience, sometimes even traumatic.

Now… how to deal with all those negative feelings when a story built together fades? Let’s see some keys that help to properly manage emotions in these cases

How to Deal with Separation Anxiety: The Flip Side of Breakup

Where there has been an honestly felt relationship that comes to an end, an emotional blow is received. With the breakup comes a true paradigm shift both physically and psychologically. For example, when we go through an experience like this, the way we perceive ourselves changes, but our routines also change, including the physical places through which we usually move.

Now, the fact that almost certainly separation will affect us emotionally It does not mean that we have to resign ourselves to suffering in any way, giving up the possibility of regulating those emotions in the most appropriate way possible. Below you will find several tips and reflections that may be useful to combat anxiety due to a breakup.

1. Mentalize yourself: there is no such thing as a better half

Much of the suffering caused by separation is simply due to the fact that, due to cultural reasons, we continue to have very high expectations about what relationships based on romantic love should be.

The idea that the members of the couple are predestined to meet and that when united they form a kind of inseparable unit comes from magical thinking traditionally linked to religion and, although in certain contexts it could be useful (times and places in which not having a strongly united family that provided stability could mean the death), today it has lost all its meaning in much of the world.

Therefore, it is good to think that while it lasted it was very important to us, the universe does not revolve around a relationship that has ended. Consequently, the world continues to make sense even though that person is no longer by our side.

2. Nobody is essential to be happy

Do you know the fallacy of begging the question? Is about an error in reasoning according to which a conclusion is reached from premises in which the conclusion is already implicit. For example: the mind and the body are part of the human being, so the mind and the body are two different things.

When couple breakups occur, people who are going through the grieving process caused by the absence of the other usually fall into a fallacy of begging the question, although this time directed towards emotions.

This reasoning is usually the following: that person who gave me happiness has disappeared, so I can’t be happy anymore. Seen superficially, this reasoning seems to make sense, but if we examine it a little more deeply, we realize that the premise assumes something very debatable: that happiness was given by that person, as if it were a source of vitality.

The mistake is to believe such categorical statements based on emotions and sensations typical of a stage of emotional instability such as a breakup. In those moments, our perception of things is so altered that we are able to believe that the truth about our lives has been revealed after years of remaining hidden in the shadows. Belief in these kinds of catastrophic thoughts It causes a lot of anxiety, but we must not let those ideas overcome us.

3. Move in a different way

With the breakup comes change, that is undeniable. One cannot separate from one’s partner and act as if everything remains the same. More than anything, because in these circumstances, since we will not have the possibility of continuing to lead our lives as we did, in practice what we will do is not act at all. Adopt a totally passive attitude, do nothing, and let sadness, anxiety and intrusive thoughts eat away at us

Therefore, you have to be consistent with the situation and change your habits. Embracing change consists of finding new hobbies, meeting other people and moving to other places. The change in routine will make it more difficult to fall back into that vicious cycle of obsessive thoughts typical of rumination.