How To Combat Loneliness? 5 Methods To Deal With A Feeling Of Abandonment

Is loneliness good or bad? What types of loneliness exist? Discover the causes of a negative feeling of loneliness and how to combat it through psychology.

How to deal with loneliness?

Although we have all experienced at one time or another loneliness, the reality is that we all feel alone in one way or another. For this reason, feeling alone depends a lot on the person experiencing it as well as the situation in which we are experiencing these emotions. But what is behind this feeling of loneliness?

“Loneliness, when accepted, becomes a gift that leads us to find our purpose in life”

Paulo Coelho, writer

What is loneliness?

The loneliness It is one of the most complex universal human emotions that is also unique to each individual. Because there are different types of loneliness and each of them do not have a single common cause, loneliness in psychology has many different explanations.

In this way we could say that the loneliness as a definition It is a mental state that people sometimes experience. According to specialists and different research on the matter, loneliness understood as feeling alone can have negative consequences if it is experienced on more than one occasion during the week. This is why many people suffer from a certain fear of loneliness or fear of any feeling of loneliness.

Sometimes, loneliness translates as a feeling of abandonment that makes people feel empty, alone and even unwanted. So much so that when you have this feeling of loneliness human contact is constantly sought. As we can see, loneliness does not imply feeling alone or lonely, but when someone suffers in this sense it can cause certain havoc for their mental health.

Types of loneliness

The loneliness and its meaning They change drastically depending on how the person in this situation experiences it. For this reason there are different types of loneliness that can be distinguished in the following.

  • existential loneliness

These sfeelings of loneliness They have a philosophical component. Sometimes people think of loneliness as something that tells us how unique we are when we see the world and our existence.

  • emotional loneliness

Sometimes we require the feeling of loneliness to enjoy our own company. In these cases, loneliness and sadness are not related. But in other cases these types of loneliness occur when there is a lack of social relationships with others. Sometimes this can imply some problems in our mental health that prevent us from relating to others.

  • Social loneliness

Sometimes we may feel excluded from certain social groups. When this becomes a routine for us is when we can experience loneliness and its meaning in our lives. In these types of loneliness is when an individual may feel alone surrounded by people. Being part of a group is one of the bases of our human nature.

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Feeling one of the different types of loneliness has different consequences on our emotions and sensations. But when it does not cause certain negativity, it is vital to learn more about its reasons and causes to learn how to do it. combat loneliness that limits us in our lives.

What are the causes of loneliness?

Causes of loneliness

The loneliness in psychology It has many possible causes. Despite this, there are patterns that are repeated when these types of feelings are harmful to our mental health.

1. Social anxiety

There are people who find it difficult or difficult to establish and maintain connections or social encounters due to the anxiety they feel trying to do so. This happens in most cases, since people are afraid of feeling judged by others.

2. Traumas

Traumas are situations in which a negative emotion is experienced in the face of a terrifying and painful event. So much so that experiencing trauma can lead to having a sustained fear or anxiety response. It is for this precise reason that people can come to experience loneliness when they cannot combat trauma.

3. Low self-esteem

The moment you start thinking badly of yourself you end up believing that others also have these ideas. Thus feel alone and sad is an almost recurring feeling in people.

4. Lack of assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to know how to ask for what you want in an honest and respectful way towards yourself and others. That is, people who do not know how to communicate with others tend to have more difficulties establishing lasting relationships. So much so that in some cases they end up resorting to solitude to free themselves from having to face these types of situations.

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5. Depression and/or Anxiety

Some of the diseases that most tend to produce a feeling of abandonment in adults They are precisely depression and anxiety. There are many cases in which loneliness and depression go hand in hand, as well as anxiety.

Risks of loneliness for mental health

Health risks of loneliness

Experience this feeling of loneliness Over very long periods of time it can produce a series of consequences for our mental health. Among the best-known effects of loneliness we can find the following.

  • Alcoholism and drug use
  • Altered brain function
  • More likely to suffer from Alzheimer’s disease
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Cardiovascular disease and stroke
  • Decreased memory and learning
  • Depression and suicide
  • Increased stress levels
  • Bad decision making

It is precisely because of all these effects that when we have a feeling of loneliness that lasts too long over time we should consult with a mental health professional to take action on the matter. When the loneliness and sadness They are united, we must work to try to overcome these types of negative emotions that limit our happiness.

How to combat loneliness?

When people have a deep feeling of loneliness It is vital to try to solve it. In many cases the key will be to investigate the reason for this and start working on improving these aspects of ourselves. In this way, in order to know how to deal with loneliness, you can do the following.

1. Listen to your thoughts

Listen to yourself and be clear about your opinion about loneliness and what interpretation you give it, even test those thoughts, debate with yourself. Sometimes this feeling of loneliness is due to a lack of self-love or a psychological problem, so we must try to find out the reason behind this emotion.

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2. Learn to be alone

Schedule a plan with yourself, read a book, watch a movie, pamper yourself during that time, don’t use social media while you’re with yourself, try being alone. It is very likely that at first it will be difficult, and a lot, but when you have been putting it into practice for a few days, you will see that you have been able to do it, and you will also have verified that those fears you had were not real. Learn to value loneliness It can make us see it with different eyes and feel it with other types of emotions and feelings.

How to combat loneliness?

3. Use behavioral activation

Behavioral activation is a technique that will allow you face loneliness and try to get out of your comfort zone. To do this you must force yourself to go to new places or take the first step in social interactions. You can start little by little through small challenges to get used to being more socially active. To start using this technique you can make a list of those things that you have enjoyed in the past and assess what you can do today to open your borders.

4. Clarify your values

Sometimes we can feel lonely people within a group, since we do not connect with others. In this case it is vital to reorganize our mind and be clear about our values ​​in order to feel part of something bigger. This is because our values ​​are part of our personal identity and therefore in order to establish quality bonds with others we must find those who also share them.

5. Recognize your emotions

Emotional intelligence is one of the most effective keys to combating a feeling of emotional loneliness. Beginning to recognize our emotions and give them a name can be the first step in being able to control or change our attitude towards others.

As we see the key to combat loneliness It is precisely working within ourselves. In many cases a professional psychologist will be vital to make this transformation to see loneliness from another perspective.

“Why, in general, is solitude avoided? Because there are very few who find company with themselves”

Carlo Dossi, writer