One of the most widespread cultural traits in Western societies is, without a doubt, negativity. Whether in the media, in the family environment or coming from ourselves, it is almost automatic to see things from the worst perspective.
The negativity bias makes us filter out only the bad in what happens to us, while the good is less valued or, outright, ignored. How to deal with negativity? It seems like an impossible task, but it is not.
Below we will see what techniques we can follow to confront this type of pessimistic thinking, in addition to delving a little deeper into how we ourselves are largely responsible for our happiness and inner peace.
Our degree of inner peace and happiness depends, in large part, on ourselves. It is true that there are certain external factors such as the opinions of our loved ones, the media or the world economic situation that can influence us in such a way that we see the world in a negative way, however, we must not forget that We ourselves are the ones who decide whether or not we put on the filter of negativity..
Despite this truth, this reality is very difficult to understand. Human beings tend to dwell on our misfortunes and blame other people or our destiny for the bad things that happen to us, or that there are no reasons to be optimistic in this world. It is normal for us to think this way if we only focus on what we believe is bad. However, we must understand that there is nothing good or bad on its own, but it largely depends on how we see it and, much more importantly, how we deal with it.
Negativity is the set of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that feed sadness, anguish and all types of self-destructive behaviors.. If we take a position loaded with negativity, it is normal for us to feel that our plans to be happy and obtain inner peace are frustrated since negativity and happiness are opposite concepts. It’s like we pour gasoline on a fire and get angry because it won’t go out.
But even though negativity hurts us, we almost never stop to think if things are really as bad as we think they are, nor do we make a conscious effort to focus on the good things in life. Of course, we would have to be the unluckiest people in the world for absolutely everything that happens to us to have to be bad. As we said, it is a question of filters: if the filter is positive, we will look at the good; If the filter is negative, we will look at the bad.
If we stop to think and analyze the way we see things, we will surely observe that on many occasions it is our way of seeing things, marked by the most extreme negativity, that feeds our bad mood and pessimism. Good and bad things happen to us, but the bad becomes the center of attention and the good becomes tiny.
It can also happen that we are optimistic people or that we make the effort to see the good side of things. However, There is always someone in our environment who sees things wrong, apologizing that he is simply “realistic” and tries to make us see things “as they are.” The problem is that their way of seeing the world is not absolute reality, quite the opposite, but it certainly plunges us a little into misery. It is not that he is a bad person, it is not that he wants to see us suffer, his negativity filter simply biases the world he perceives, and he does not realize that he is wrong.
Whether we are negative people or it is a person close to us who exerts an important influence, there are a series of guidelines to get rid of this negativity, helping us to see the good side of the immense world in which we live and understand that our happiness and peace Interior often depends on ourselves and the way we decide how to perceive what happens to us.
Characteristics of negative people
Before going into more detail about how to deal with negativity, we are going to discover what the main traits of a negative person are, so that we can identify them in ourselves or in people with whom we frequently interact.
In order to deal with pessimism and negativity bias, it is necessary to understand what behaviors are associated with it.. Negative people usually present the following:
Strategies to deal with negativity
Next we are going to learn how to deal with negativity, whether it comes from ourselves or from a loved one, family member, co-worker or any person in our environment who exerts an important influence on our emotional state.
1. Do not judge others
It is very common for negative people to judge and criticize others. We look for and see each of the negative traits of other people. We look for their flaws, their hang-ups, and anything we think is wrong.. But this is not about others, it is about ourselves.
When we look for the bad in others, what we really do is project what we don’t like about ourselves. We judge others to hide how critically and harshly we judge ourselves, since we are not satisfied with how we are, but we do not want to admit it.
To make matters worse, constantly looking for the bad in others is not going to make them treat us well. Nobody wants to be around someone who feeds their complexes. It is a matter of time that if we tell someone that they have gray hair, that they are going bald, that they are fat or any other trait that we consider negative, no matter how much that person accepts what their body is like, they will not want us to remind them of what is bad that we see. in her.
Stopping judging others is a good step to ward off negativity. People will treat us better and we will not be as aware of what is supposedly bad in ourselves or in others. No one is perfect, but no one is absolutely good either.we will always find something good in others and in ourselves.
This advice sounds very gratuitous, but it is really possible to get rid of negative ideas, although it is not easy, and the key is not to obsess over them or try to eliminate them completely.
It is normal to have very established negative ways of thinking, mental automatisms that are difficult to realize and stop. They are depressing, pessimistic ideas, sometimes full of hate. However, just because they are automatic does not mean that we cannot question them.
It is essential that to ward off negative ideas we first detect them. They will come suddenly, they will begin to invade our consciousness, they will overwhelm us, they will anger us and they will interrupt what we were trying to do. At first we will have to make a lot of effort to “stop them”, try to calm down and keep them under control.
It’s a matter of practice. If we begin to notice that they are beginning to manifest, let’s pause and focus on some source of stimuli or memories with the ability to capture our attentional focus. If it is something that can be solved, let’s do something to solve it. If it can’t be fixed, there’s no point in focusing on it.. Rumination leads to wasted time and energy, and mental fatigue is the gateway to more negativity.
3. Remove yourself from sources of negativity
As we said, happiness and peace depend on us, but on many occasions there are external factors, difficult to control, that ruin our mood and optimism. We live in an inherently pessimistic society, and the blame for this lies mainly with the media: the culture of negativity, or rather that of fear, is well established in the media.
Just watch a news program. An attack in such a city, a flood in such a country, such an illustrious person has just died of cancer… Bad things are news. They will rarely talk about anything good that has happened in the world, a place too vast and varied for only sad events to happen. The media greatly conditions our way of seeing the world negatively.
Fortunately we can do something. Stay away from the negativity with which we are often bombarded by the media, it is a very good way to start the path to happiness. It is not that we advocate that we should be totally ignorant about what is happening in the world, but we should filter the information that we want to receive. There is sad news that knowing it is of no use to us, since we cannot do anything to change it, either because it is impossible or because it is too far away from us.
A good way to filter this information is know much of the news from local media. Obviously not everything they put in them will be good news and it is very likely that some unpleasant international news will sneak in, however, these media are designed to promote local goods and services, in addition to promoting local culture and learning about events that have occurred nearby. and therefore we will be able to do something to help if necessary.
Prejudices are beliefs that can give us a false sense of security. After all, having the world deciphered and understood in very specific categories based on few data is a comfortable and quick way to see it, plus it is a way of assuming that you have more control over the circumstances. However, prejudices take away much more from us than they give us, especially if they are loaded with negativity.
Opening your mind is a very good way to attract happiness and peace of mind. It means being awake to new ideas and knowing a world that is so immense that it cannot be possible that everything in it is bad. Let us renounce the false securities and certainties of prejudices and allow entry to a new reality, allowing love and understanding to enter and let go of hatred and false beliefs.
5. Focus on the positive
As we said, hardly anything that happens to us is going to be bad. Some bad things can happen to us, but good things will also happen. We must not allow the sesog of negativity to run wild and make us see only the bad or condemn us to a filter of pessimism.
Focusing on the positive does not mean ceasing to be realistic or downplaying bad things that, in the right measure, should be taken into serious consideration. It means stopping seeing the world as a terrible, dark and gray place.
6. Don’t argue for the sake of arguing
Whether we are negative people ourselves or we have to interact with one of them, it is common for conversations to turn into arguments. Everyone sees things differently, and the most pessimistic people can even be sarcastic with those who want to see the positive side of things. If he or she doesn’t want to see things positively, let’s step back a little.
The idea is not to leave it abandoned, but avoid entering into confrontation if that cannot bring objective benefits. If we are the negative ones, we must know how to identify when we are taking a tone that will lead us to discussion. Stopping for a while is a very good idea, and we can also try to briefly change the subject, talk about the landscape or something that is inherently neutral.
Discussions can raise very polarized points of view and bring up arguments that can become another reason to distrust the world, seeing people as people who always want to impose their opinion. That fuels the negativity even more.
