As time has passed, society has tended to become less and less communal. This has had a serious impact and strong repercussions in various areas, especially in parenting. Not so long ago, parenting was shared between the nuclear and extended families and, in this way, responsibility was also more bearable.
The mental burden and logistical difficulties that mothers and fathers suffer in their daily lives due to lack of support can have serious consequences on their physical and mental health. If we also add the addition of having children with high demands, it can become even more complicated.
Usually, reality is very far from that idyllic image that they had sold us about motherhood. Parenting without a community or support network is really difficult. We live in a society in which women are required to always be present in the care of others and, at the same time, not stop performing and producing as they did before.
Although, undoubtedly, the great burden of parenting continues to fall largely on mothers, fortunately more and more fathers are getting involved in the process of raising their children. However, this does not make co-parenting as wonderful as it can be exhausting at many other times.
Unfortunately, at a social level, motherhood is so romanticized that the majority of parents do not share its feelings. This leads, on countless occasions, to live this stage of their lives with a lot of stress, frustration for having the feeling of not achieving everything, sadness for feeling that they are not enjoying themselves as they “should” and, above all, loneliness.
There are various factors that influence the behavior of an infant. Among them, we highlight some such as the temperament of the minor (biological and genetic factors), the way of being of the parents or people in charge, the parenting style, the stress of daily life and possible physical or mental health problems. that may interfere.
It is really important to be able to understand the causes of the infant’s behavior that is proving challenging for adults. In this sense, it is essential to take into account the evolutionary moment in which it is located. Theories of the evolutionary development of minors help us understand their needs at every moment of life.
Before answering what a difficult child is, it is essential to analyze whether the adults are feeling overwhelmed by the child’s high demands because these are associated with their individual characteristics or whether it may be related to the child’s condition. physical and/or mental state of the adult.
Although it is always advisable to rule out medical issues, it is true that there are infants with high demands that can translate into behaviors such as high irritability and crying, very intense reactions, great sensitivity to certain stimuli and low attention span. These are just some examples, but other characteristics may occur.
Strategies for coping with raising a difficult child
As we mentioned previously, the main aspect is being able to understand what is happening in the family environment. It is interesting that adults can review their physical and emotional state while observing the infant’s needs. Here are some strategies that may be helpful:
1. Transmit unconditional love
Children need to feel loved unconditionally in order to optimally develop a healthy sense of self. This implies that we let them know that we love them for who they are, not for their academic, sports, musical achievements, etc. They are born deserving of our love and do not have to “earn” anything.
2. Serve from the regulation itself
If we want our child to learn to regulate their emotions, we must first be the ones who attend to them in a regulated manner. This allows us to attend to what is happening to them and help them put words to it, understand it, validate it and, over time, regulate it for themselves.
3. Be consistent in the message
Children learn from what they see us do, not from what we tell them. And that’s what they repeat. We must become aware of those values that we really want to transmit and be the example.
4. Establish clear and consistent boundaries
Limits are necessary for the development of minors. It is important that during parenting we establish them clearly. It is important that the infant can understand both the limit and the consequence of breaking it. The repercussions must match.
A really important aspect during parenting is presence. Another elementary aspect is communication. It is important that, as adults, we can listen to their needs to build the foundations of fluid and respectful communication
6. Become aware of your own needs
We already said previously that there are many pressures to which mothers and fathers are subjected. Therefore, it is essential that we can dedicate time to observation and become aware of how we are, what we need and how we can take care of ourselves.
7. Ask for help
If the situation you are experiencing is overwhelming and you feel that you do not have the resources to cope, ask for help. Currently there is a wide variety of professionals who can accompany you in the parenting process, adapting to the needs of each family.
