How To Detect A Superficial Person? 9 Signs Of Superficial Relationships
How do I know if I am in a superficial friendship relationship? What does it mean to be superficial? Discover the signs of a superficial relationship and what to do about it.
Although we may not realize it, many of our daily relationships are built on a superficial bond, that is, they are interactions that do not usually go much further. But, when you are superficial relationships They occur in our friends, family or even in our relationship, perhaps it is a sign that we are not with the right people.
It is normal that we do not want our relationships to stagnate in superficial conversations. In fact, we all long for those connections where we can talk about our deepest beliefs, experiences and thoughts. But when the people are superficial these types of connections become impossible.
When we interact with superficial people We tend to ‘waste’ our time with conversations that usually lead to nothing that really interests us. Therefore, each person may have a different concept of superficial.
On the contrary, psychologist Murray Browen explained that there were what he called ‘person-to-person relationships’, where those who interacted ended up having deeper and more mature bonds and conversations. In these cases, people could express the following:
They were able to talk about their beliefs and experiences
They did not focus on the lives of others (on third parties who were not in the conversation)
They did not depend on impersonal topics to continue the conversation
In many cases, be superficial, On certain occasions there is nothing wrong with it, especially if we are in certain situations. But, when we use these conversation topics to manage a bond closer to us, perhaps our relationships are superficial and do not give us what we would really like to have in them.
If you are facing a surface ratio Whether it is a family, a friend or a couple, people normally have these types of attitudes:
Appearance is everything: For one superficial person What matters most is what others think of them. In this way, they will do everything possible to pretend that they are happy, that they have everything ‘desirable’, etc. Being superficial, a person will try to conform to others even though they do not share many of their interests.
They seek status: The superficial people They usually seek social status. Therefore, instead of fighting for their desires or goals, they will do everything to be the person expected of them.
You must measure your words with them: When the people around us make us think too much about what we say, maybe we are in a situation. surface ratio In this way, if you feel that you cannot be yourself and express what you really feel due to a certain ‘fear’ of their criticism, you may be dealing with a superficial person.
You feel like you have nothing in common: Before a surface ratio it is completely normal for you to feel like you don’t share anything with the person you are talking to.
They identify with their possessions: The shallow people They usually feel identified with the material objects they own. In fact, although they try to hide it, they often boast about what they have, since they see it as a sign of their ‘personal status’.
They won’t do anything unless it benefits them: In a genuine friendship relationship, people give without needing to receive anything in return. The opposite happens when we are dealing with a superficial person. Being superficial means only looking for others when this connection benefits us.
Too critical of you: It’s okay to be honest with your friends, family or partner, but when it comes to a superficial person, these criticisms always get worse. That is, they usually offer ‘advice’ when they have not been asked for an opinion, making you feel bad for standing out in certain aspects.
They will tell you that you are ‘too’ sensitive: The superficial people They tend to focus on the negative aspects of others, so if you get angry at a comment from them, they will tell you that you are ‘too sensitive’. This way, their reactions will never be their fault and they will not even take responsibility for any of their negative actions towards you.
They are not loyal: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But when what you say in private is echoed by a person, perhaps your bond is more superficial than you thought. When you are in a surface ratio loyalty is the last thing that will matter.
These are some of the signs that could indicate that you are in a relationship with a superficial person These types of links are not genuine, and may mean that you do not feel comfortable with this circle of people. If you think that these relationships are affecting your mental health, it is crucial that you go to a professional psychologist.
What to do in superficial relationships?
In some cases, if you have been friends for a long time, perhaps these changes are due to the passage of years. When this happens, the course of the relationship can be corrected through open communication. If you think that this person is willing to change and you have already talked about it with them, it may be a good idea to give this friend a second chance.
However, when you are superficial relationships They have gone too far and are affecting you on an emotional and psychological level, perhaps the only solution is to get away from these people.
In these types of situations, in reality, the best thing you can do is trust your feelings. That is, if a person constantly makes you feel bad, it is not a good friendship and there is no need to continue keeping this type of relationship close.
By ‘breaking’ with these superficial people You don’t need to have a ‘breakup’ conversation, just keep your boundaries and personal values ​​firm. Even so, if you want to firmly end this bond, you can always communicate it to him in an assertive way and expect that his response will not be positive at all, but that you will receive new attacks, so it will be preferable to avoid this step if possible.
No matter how hard we try, superficial relationships They can always happen. But if you think that a relationship is not helping you be better, perhaps this person is not worth it to you.
