Self-criticism is a capacity that allows us to be aware of and evaluate our behavior in order to make changes to improve it.
To ensure that criticism benefits us, we must ensure that it is positive and constructive, that is, that it focuses on describing the situation and assessing what possible solutions there are. The purpose of self-criticism is to improve, not to blame and punish ourselves for what happened.
In this article we will talk about self-criticism and how to do it based on advice and guidelines that will help you apply it to your life and your personal development.
Self-criticism is the ability to analyze and evaluate our behaviors, both behaviors, cognitions and emotions, proposing improvements Self-criticism can be understood as a positive skill, since if we perform it correctly it can be useful to modify our way of acting and thus improve. In this way, it is necessary that in the same way that we must try to make constructive criticism of the subjects around us, we also make this type of criticism of ourselves.
So that the criticism is positive and helps us develop and evolve We must try to make these objective That is to say, that there is a real reason for doing them, that there is an objective explanation that justifies making the criticism. Likewise, we will try to ensure that these are constructive, consisting of proposing possible solutions so that improvement occurs. It is not enough to just say or point out what we don’t like, we have to think if there is room for improvement and how we could solve it.
How to do self-criticism
Self-criticism can be understood as a useful ability that helps us progress and improve, but it can also be devastating and dysfunctional if we do not make good use of it. If we only focus on criticizing the actions we perform, on highlighting everything bad without trying to see how to fix and change, what we achieve is damage our self-esteem, self-concept, the perception we have of ourselves. We have to motivate and encourage ourselves to produce change so we can benefit
It is therefore essential to learn and train to carry out positive and constructive self-criticism, as we have already said, so that they are truly functional and useful for our development and progress. So let’s see some tips that can help us carry out self-criticism appropriately
1. Be clear that the purpose is to improve, not blame ourselves
The purpose of self-criticism should be to know what we did wrong and try to assess how we can change our actions to avoid making the same mistake. Constantly blaming ourselves for what we did without trying to solve the problem does not help us ; On the contrary, it affects us and can affect our mental state.
2. Focus on specific behaviors that you can modify
We do self-criticism with the intention of improving, if the fact, ability, trait criticized cannot be modified, criticizing it will not be functional or useful since we will only make ourselves feel worse, damaging ourselves by highlighting something that we cannot change. So that, We will focus on assessing and trying to modify behaviors, rather than unmodifiable traits and that these behaviors be as specific as possible to find the most appropriate solution.
3. Set realistic goals
As we have already seen, the purpose of self-criticism is to be able to identify and assess what we must change and work on to achieve improvement. For this reason, it is necessary that the objectives or goals that we set, the ones we use to assess our state and whether we have achieved what we wanted, are realistic. That is to say, We have to be able to achieve them, otherwise we will only sink and self-criticism will no longer be functional
It is better to set close objectives that we can easily achieve so that little by little we can progress and set more complex long-term goals, but always with the possibility of achieving them if we make an effort.
4. Choose a suitable moment to do self-criticism
It is common, due to the lifestyle we currently lead, that we cannot stop to reflect during the day. For this reason, it can be beneficial to choose the right moment to carry out self-assessment, taking a moment for ourselves to reflect on our state, consider possible objectives, aspects that we want to change and how to improve. It is important that the moment we choose we can be relaxed as much as possible so that our thoughts are positive and we show a good attitude towards the possible factors to modify, thus avoiding self-destruction.
To ensure that self-criticism is done appropriately, we must be aware of when it is taking place in order to control it and ensure that it is positive and constructive and does not deviate from its intentions. One way to control self-criticism is to try to do it frequently and intentionally while being aware of it, because this is how we can exercise this capacity, first by training consciously and with greater effort so that we can finally do it without difficulty and in an adequate way.
6. Use the description of behaviors
The correct way to do constructive self-criticism is to accurately describe a specific behavior or pattern of habitual behavior in us, thus avoiding focusing on personality traits or appealing to our supposed essence. As we have already said, we will try to make the behavior to be changed as concrete as possible. If we specifically describe the failure, it is easier to identify in this description how to solve it and obtain improvements.
7. Generate possible solutions
The technique that is used from the field of Psychology to try to solve the first problems, presents as one of the phases of action generate all possible alternatives to try to find the most appropriate solution. Once all the alternatives have been proposed, we must assess the possible consequences that each one may entail in order to discard and finally stay with the one that is most appropriate. Likewise, if we see that the chosen option does not obtain good results, we can change and try another one.
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8. Focus on one of two aspects to improve
It is normal that there are different behaviors that we want to change and try to improve, but if we try to modify and work on them all at the same time it is difficult to achieve good results. As we have already pointed out, we must spend time describing the behavior to be improved and propose and evaluate possible alternatives that may be useful to achieve improvement. This process requires dedication and, therefore, If we try to cover many behaviors to correct, it is more difficult to be effective in resolving each one
We will have our attention focused on many behaviors to work on and in this way we will not be able to focus and dedicate ourselves fully to one of them, a behavior that is necessary to find the appropriate solution.
9. Assume the responsibility that falls to you
Linked to self-blame, it is also essential that we take responsibility for the events that happen to us, but distinguishing between: events whose results depend on us, for which we could do nothing to modify them.
There are events for which we are responsible, but it was really not within our power to do anything to prevent them from happening Thus, it is important to know when the locus of control is internal and we can place responsibility on ourselves and when, on the contrary, the locus of control is external and what happened is not our responsibility.
We must truly take responsibility for the facts that belong to us and that are within our power to change.
10. Change the evaluation perspective
It is normal that we tend to evaluate the situation according to how we see it, according to our perspective, but sometimes taking into account the point of view of other subjects can help us find other alternative solutions. It is useful to show flexibility when we evaluate the facts, since in this way we can better understand and understand what happened. Only by valuing our vision do we miss out on very valuable and very useful information to solve our behavior.
11. Be kind to you
A premise that we must take into account before engaging in self-criticism is that everyone makes mistakes and, therefore, perfection does not exist. We must therefore consider criticism as a possibility of learning and not as a form of punishment. Just as we can understand that other people make mistakes, we must also allow ourselves to fail since making mistakes gives us the possibility of rectifying and being more aware of the correct way of acting.
Likewise, as we have mentioned before, we must set goals that are possible and realistic in order to achieve them and achieve a positive self-esteem, a better self-concept.
