How To Educate Children’s Emotions, In 3 Keys (and Benefits)
Emotional intelligence is one of those forgotten concepts that are missing when we review how we are educating our children. This concept, developed by psychologists such as Daniel Goleman, considers the emotional and introspective facet as an area of ​​special interest when it comes to children growing up with good psychological and relational health.
However, In few families and educational institutions sufficient effort is dedicated to educating children’s emotions Whether due to lack of time, scarce resources or an educational scheme stale in the past, emotions have been underestimated and our children grow up without certain educational guidelines that help them improve self-control, self-esteem, assertiveness or the way they relate. and communicate with other people.
How to educate emotions? Several psychological keys
Over the last few decades, more and more parents and schools have realized the vital importance of children’s emotional state in their academic performance and happiness.
Therefore, What psychological and educational keys can we use to improve the emotional state of children? We review them below.
1. Value the process and not so much the result
Sometimes, adults are too focused on our children’s performance: what grades they get on their exams, what their IQ level is, how they compare to other classmates… This attitude makes them dependent on results-oriented praise, and It sends them a completely wrong message: the value of the activity they carry out depends on whether they are able to solve it correctly
For gifted children who are good at problem solving (who are not necessarily the most intelligent or those who will have the most promising future), they are positively reinforced for their achievement, but the process that they entail is rarely valued. have been carried out to achieve that result. In this way, they are also taught that the enjoyment of the activity is totally secondary, since the important thing is that they have known how to solve the problem. As we see, it is not a good strategy.
Furthermore, in children with divergent thinking and/or those who have a harder time solving problems, the idea that they are not capable of reaching a successful conclusion is also instilled in them, which can result in the Pygmalion Effect. Nor is the importance of enjoying the thought process and the task conveyed to them, since the only important thing is to achieve an objectively correct result.
To avoid this result-oriented scheme, it is advisable to emphasize the thought process, the student’s motivation to fit the pieces of the puzzle, and give him the necessary attention and feedback (not excessive) so that he himself discovers the path that takes him to the right place. correct result.
2. Play emotional introspection games
Something as simple as playing to guess and define other people’s emotions can help children recognize, identify and reflect on anger, anger, guilt, shame, joy…
There are different activities and games that pursue this purpose in one way or another As parents (or teachers), we can rely on these games to ask the little ones when they have felt such emotions, how exactly they felt, what caused them, how they went about returning to normal, etc.
Relaxation allows children to momentarily disconnect from the endless stimuli they receive and reconnect with their breathing, their body, their muscles, their heartbeats… It is a technique that, used well, brings great cognitive, emotional and behavioral benefits
In fact, many schools are already implementing some relaxation sessions. These sessions have great benefits, as reported in this study from the University of Valladolid led by Beatriz Peón.
What benefits does emotional education have?
Emotional learning brings a series of benefits for our children and students. It gives them certain psychological tools to build a much more positive vision of their life, of themselves and of their environment. Likewise, it helps them manage their fears and conflicts.
Children who develop good emotional intelligence are capable of:
