If you think that guilt or worry has any positive contribution to your life, it means that you have a distorted perception of reality.
Emotions such as guilt and worry are increasingly common in today’s society. It is increasingly common to observe stressed people who “sink in a glass of water” for situations that perhaps, from the perspective of others, are not so serious.
The destructive power of negative emotions is mainly due to the influence they had on our childhood. We learned from a young age, during the development of our first and second childhood, that if we did not feel bad for some mistake made or did not worry enough about the future we would not be able to correct an attitude or solve a problem.
since childhood We were taught these types of negative emotions in order to instruct our behavior and correct certain types of behaviors. This problem is mainly expressed in our stage of maturity, since both guilt and worry can be really harmful emotions for our emotional well-being, exposing us to manipulations and falling into self-punishing behaviors.
The problem with guilt and worry is mainly that we waste all of our present moments punishing ourselves for things that have already happened or that we want to happen in the future. Because of this type of negative thinking, our ability to enjoy and connection with life is severely diminished.
Although both emotions have the theoretical purpose of helping us correct behaviors or look for possible solutions to problems, both also fulfill a useless purpose in our lives, since they only manage to keep us immobilized in the face of adversity. This type of “immobilization” can be observed both in blaming behaviors and in feelings of anxiety or fear about a possible event.
Guilt can serve as retribution in itself and permission to repeat the same behavior -Osho
A society that leads us to constant concern
Today’s society is full of people who feel bad about something they shouldn’t have done, or are stressed about things that could happen.
With guilt on their backs, they feel overwhelmed by some attitude from the past. while with worry they feel anxious about things that have not yet happened and that, to make matters worse, will probably never happen.
Chances are that you, dear reader, find yourself in this same situation on some occasions. If you frequently feel trapped by any of these emotions, it is necessary to work with them to be able to start building the future by leaving these negative and paralyzing emotions aside.
How to eliminate the feeling of guilt
Starting to see the past as something that cannot be changed, no matter how you feel about it, is essential to eliminate these types of negative emotions. You can use phrases like: “My feeling of guilt is not going to change or improve anything that happened” since no feeling that involves punishing yourself will be able to achieve any positive change in your attitude or in your current life.
If you want a significant change in the way you respond to the blaming manipulations of your thinking, Start by incorporating the following guilt-freeing strategies into your life.
1. Accept your behavior without punishing yourself for it
Live fully in the present moment and then look for some constructive solution. Choosing to feel guilty and punish yourself for what happened will not solve anything nor will it ensure that your behavior will change. In the best case, you will get a “patchwork” solution that will soon disappear.
2. Set appropriate times to take care of your affairs and obligations
Ask yourself what it is that you have been avoiding reflect on whether your feeling of guilt is produced by avoiding some situation or some responsibility, and deal with it!
3. Assert your position of not punishing yourself
If any individual has a position contrary to yours and tries to manipulate you through guilt, Start by respecting your position of not opting for useless feelings that involve self-punishment. and reflect constructively on whether your attitude has a purpose or is only harming you.
4. Start by accepting things in yourself that others may not like.
Remember that it is impossible to satisfy everyone. your behavior does not have to be classified as bad or good according to the opinion of others. Make your happiness and harmony a priority before external acceptance.
5. Take note of all the situations that make you feel guilty
You can write down the why, when and who of the situation to then analyze and determine if you really should make any change in your attitude.
To eliminate worry, start by changing your perception about the future. Stop perceiving it as something you have to be aware of all the time, this way you will get away from obsessive thoughts that only bring you anxiety and fear.
You can use phrases like: “Only what I do in the present can determine my future.” If you apply this maxim, you will see that it is absurd to worry about things that have not yet happened, especially if they deprive us of living in the present moment.
Allow yourself to employ the following strategies to release your worried feelings and begin taking care of your life.
Why were we taught these negative emotions?
The main reason why we were taught negative emotions such as guilt or worry is largely due to our cultural values, since It is considered “inappropriate” not to feel bad and not punish ourselves for our problems.
All this cultural legacy is related to the importance we give to our problems, since our culture teaches us that, if we really care about a person or a specific issue, we must demonstrate our interest by feeling guilty for a “bad” attitude that we have had, or expressing our concern to show our affection.
It is as if we were taught that exposing our pain and emotional discomfort was a fundamental requirement to show affection and importance to others.
