Decision making is a constitutive act of the human being Every day we make decisions, from the simplest and most everyday ones, to the fundamental ones that mark our lives.
Given this, it is natural to doubt, it is healthy and necessary when analyzing what path we will take, it can help us discern, solve problems and evaluate what is best for us or the people around us. But be careful, doubts that are held in our minds without setting a limit can be counterproductive and harmful to our mental health.
When does doubt become the enemy of decision making?
The problem begins when doubt stops being a guide to reach conclusions or analyze different situations and becomes a limitation When doubt is excessive, it generates insecurity and paralyzes us.
The first emotion that usually appears when we are faced with the need to make a decision is fear. Fear in itself is not bad, as it tells us that we are facing an important decision, that we must be careful and attentive.
The difficulty appears when fear makes it impossible for us to decide, we constantly doubt and enter a loop of endless thoughts, where little by little we lose confidence in ourselves, we ask ourselves questions that do not have an answer that calms us and hundreds of questions and scenarios are opening up that lead us nowhere.
Our attention begins to be focused on the possibility of making a mistake, what others might think if we do such a thing, which causes us to postpone the decision and continue in a continuous analysis of different possible scenarios.
What thoughts invade us when we are afraid to decide?
Frequently, the fear of making decisions has an impact on our thoughts. Faced with the insecurity that doubt generates in us, an endless number of thoughts invade us that come to reaffirm the labyrinth of unanswered questions that make us postpone the decision.
These thoughts mostly respond to limiting beliefs that block us, tell us that we cannot: “I can’t speak in public”, “I’m not able to get this job” “I’m not enough for someone to love me”.
The thoughts that paralyze us are varied and depend on each person. But we can find common factors that are repeated in those who have difficulty making decisions:
These thoughts deteriorate our ability to decide and lead us to take alternative paths to avoid facing what distresses us However, what is achieved is remaining in the labyrinth of doubt. When these blockages appear, a solution is generally attempted that is never satisfactory. The answers that usually appear are:
How can we combat pathological doubt?
First of all, you have to think that there are no right or wrong decisions; There are decisions made based on certain contexts and circumstances that can be more or less adjusted to the objectives to be achieved.
Doubt deteriorates our confidence and leaves us with a permanent feeling of uncertainty That is why the first important step in the entire process is to question your limiting thoughts, everything that your internal dialogues say that you are not good or that what you want is not for you, put them in doubt, you will often find that what you want is not for you. you say to yourself has no basis to affirm that it is really so.
Another important point in the decision-making process is being able to identify the emotion that is being felt. This allows us to listen to ourselves and accept that there is a doubt about the decision we are making, validating what we feel will help us understand what we are afraid of and think about different strategies to find a solution.
Many times, asking ourselves “what is the worst that can happen?” allows us to take pressure off the decision before us An exercise that helps clear up doubts is to make a list with the advantages and disadvantages of all the options you are analyzing. In every decision we make there is something that is gained and something that is lost, the important thing is to evaluate whether the advantages are more important to you than what you leave aside.
Last, but not least, trust yourself and center the decision by focusing on what you consider important. Getting out of a place of passivity and taking action often requires putting aside what others believe is best for you and putting your priorities center stage. Being able to assume the responsibility that comes with deciding for yourself will bring the freedom and confidence necessary to take the best possible path.
