How To Express Feelings And Connect With Someone, In 6 Steps
We often forget that, when developing a healthy way of relating to our emotional side, it is not enough to know how to control oneself or identify which feelings predominate at any given moment. Also It is very important to know how to express feelings
In this article we will see several keys to communicating to others the reality about how we feel, especially in relation to those mental states whose nature goes beyond words.
How to express our feelings in personal relationships?
Much of what keeps us united with others is our ability to connect emotionally with others. It is difficult to maintain a relationship, be it family, couple or friendship, with someone about whom you know nothing about how they feel, in what range of colors they usually see reality, and in what way they do it.
However, knowing how to express feelings is quite a challenge. First of all, we must deal with a series of cultural barriers which have led to certain types of emotional manifestations being belittled, and which has especially targeted men and people with a non-normative sexual orientation, but which has ultimately affected everyone. For centuries, letting emotions color the most important aspects of our way of life was considered a sign of weakness, or directly inappropriate and cause for censure.
But another component that hinders our way of expressing feelings is something that goes beyond our cultural contexts: feelings are, in themselves, something that does not have to fit with the usual ways of expressing ourselves through language.
Precisely to help progress in the mission of connecting more and better with others, below we will see a series of tips about how to express feelings both through words and using other communicative resources regardless of whether we apply them with our partner in the context of love, or with friends and family.
1. Always adapt your way of expressing yourself
It is essential, first of all, to discard the idea that we can always express our feelings in the same way, as if we had a way of expressing them that was so personal that we could not adapt it. This is not the case: if the person in front of us is not able to understand what we want to say, we will not have expressed anything.
So, if you really want to show a part of yourself that you consider relatively intimate and that has to do with how you feel, you must think about the perspective from which the other person starts For example: how would you interpret a physical approach on our part? Is it likely that you understand the concept we will use to make a metaphor? Does she know in the first place that we trust her enough to express that to her, or will she think it’s a joke?
Knowing how to ask the right questions to adapt our communication style is an art, and this usually requires practice and having the honest intention of expressing oneself, and not simply giving off a certain image because it responds to our interests.
2. Learn assertiveness
Express feelings It is also an act of bravery Therefore, you must avoid making shame an excuse, and this is achieved among other things by working on your assertiveness, the ability to assert your own feelings and your own values.
3. Make your social circle healthy
To start having an easier time expressing feelings, it is also important not to surround yourself with people who react negatively when we do so. Therefore, it is good to find open and receptive people. that they do not see emotions as a reason to criticize or mock
4. Take advantage of non-verbal language
When expressing feelings, non-verbal language is essential. Be careful not to overlook it and not take it into account or even suppress it, since an expression that is too neutral when communicating feelings can completely change what we want to say. Specifically, it is especially important that you pay attention to the overall voice you use and its musicality, as well as how you manage distances with the other person, and what are you doing with your arms and your eyes?: the latter must be directed to the eyes of the other.
5. Write what you feel
This is a very good way to know first what you feel, something necessary to be able to express it. In addition, it can help you try out linguistic ways of communicating it, although, as we have seen, these will not be perfect or sufficient in themselves to truly express what we feel.
The context is almost as important as what is said. Just like using one or another style of non-verbal language can make the same words mean different things, the context in which we find ourselves when we say it also has this effect. Therefore, make sure that there is coherence between the content of what you are going to communicate and the place in which you do it, so that there are no misunderstandings that must be clarified.
