Virtually no interaction between human beings would make sense if we couldn’t express our emotions. The most important thing about a dialogue, whether with words or without words, is to show desires, intentions, needs and, in general, our way of experiencing emotions. However, doing it the right way is not easy. There are those who do it naturally without having to think about it too much, but for others it is more complicated.
In this article we will see a series of tips about how to express emotions in an appropriate way in our day-to-day personal relationships.
Showing what we feel is not only necessary to connect emotionally with other people. Furthermore, it is therapeutic, necessary. It is difficult to live keeping what we feel especially if it has to do with experiences with a strong emotional charge.
But where there are conversations, there tend to also be certain dynamics of self-censorship. The fear of what they will say, of giving a bad image… All of this makes it not easy to open up to others. Taking this into account, expressing feelings is not easy, since it involves showing our most personal and, sometimes, even intimate side.
However, there is virtue in balance, and there is always a way to keep certain topics too intimate to share in any way and express what can be revealed, without allowing misunderstandings to arise. So, let’s look at several tips on how to express emotions when relating to others.
1. Map your feelings
It is impossible to express an emotion if you don’t have a rough idea about what that feeling is. Therefore, it is important to stop and reflect first or in the best possible way in which the words can adjust to that experience.
So, if necessary, write down on a sheet of paper how you feel, in the most structured way possible. Of course, don’t obsess over accuracy, because in the end feelings can never be fully reflected by language: even when using metaphors, there will always be facets of them that cannot be communicated. Try to ensure that the most important thing is translated into words.
This step is important especially at the beginning, not only because of the lack of practice that exists in this phase. Furthermore, it is because If we do not go through this phase, it is easy for us to get stuck and these situations are usually so unpleasant that they are capable of making us discouraged and stop trying to continue progressing in this sense.
2. Don’t wait too long
This advice is derived from the previous one. Don’t wait too long believing that the passage of time will give you tools to express yourself better. That will only cause you to constantly postpone the task of expressing yourself, and May you never leave your comfort zone.
Context also has communicative power. Opening up to someone during the course of a university class is not the same as in a quiet place without noise. Therefore, look for a context that adapts to the content you want to transmit and that does not lead to confusion.
4. Determine the purpose
What is the purpose you seek when expressing what you feel? ¿Do you just want to vent, or make sure the other person understands everything you say? and help you solve a problem? Based on this information, it will be easier for you to adapt to the following tips according to your needs.
5. Make sure you don’t just rely on abstractions
To express feelings you have to use abstract concepts, such as “helplessness” or “fear”, but it is important to complement this with other content that refers to more concrete and easy-to-identify elements. That’s why it’s good use examples from concrete past experiences that give way to a description of objective facts. This way, the other person won’t get lost.
6. Create a narrative
Don’t limit yourself to describing what you feel in a static way, as if those emotions and feelings were something static. If you show its evolution over time, everything will be more understandable and the other person will be able to identify with you better. Explain why you feel that way and how your emotions arose.
7. Worry about knowing if he understands you
Give the other person the opportunity to ask you if they don’t understand something, put yourself in their place, change the formulation of your sentences if you are using references unknown to your interlocutor… In short, prevent this experience from being a monologue.
Human relationships are always imperfect, and that is why there is always something to improve. Every time you decide to express your feelings, be sure to mentally review what happened, and take note of your mistakes to correct them and learn from them. Practice and repetition will lead you to improve in these types of skills, just as it happens in the rest.
