How To Face And Accept The Diagnosis Of Infertility
There are more and more cases of couples seeking to become parents and receiving the diagnosis of infertility. Sometimes, it is accompanied by one or more causes, ovarian reserve problems, endometriosis, problems in the morphology, quantity and quality of sperm, genetics… and on other occasions, this diagnosis appears associated with the words “cause of unknown origin.” ”.
With or without specific causes, it generates stress or frustration in the couple as it clashes with the plans they had made to start a family and the desire to have a baby.
Facing and accepting the diagnosis of infertility is a difficult task if you do not have specialized psychological help Couples who decide to start with Insemination treatments, IVF, ICSI, tests, constant gynecology, urology consultations… have to face moments of great economic, emotional and personal cost.
These are the psychological keys to not let infertility wear us down emotionally.
1. Do not hide the reason for not having children
Telling what happens to our loved ones helps us make this process a little easier, as well as talking about the emotions we feel at all times, because there is no need to spend this moment alone
It is important to tell what is happening to avoid uncomfortable questions from those closest to you It is not about telling everyone what is happening but rather about not hiding it, because there is no reason to hide this situation; In fact, doing so leads us to distance ourselves from acceptance and consequently makes the process longer and more painful.
It is important to obtain the necessary tools to handle this long and hard process. Both in terms of better management of emotions, as well as help in the grieving process in the case of abortions or longing for the baby that never arrives.
This is why it is advisable to go to psychotherapy, the space in which emotional health professionals can provide support.
3. Enhances the management of emotions associated with infertility
In the long process of fertility treatment Emotions of anger, insecurity, sadness, helplessness, guilt, frustration are generated and the question often arises “Why me?”, “Why us?”.
If during this process, both at the time of carrying out the tests, their results, the hormonal treatment in the case of women, the commonly called “beta-waiting”… there is no specialized psychological help, Mood, anxiety, and stress management issues may arise which influence both coping and acceptance of the situation and the results of the treatment.
Psychological intervention is specialized in intervention in emotional management and minimizing the effects of stress, the process of accepting the diagnosis of infertility and intervention in grief.
Grief process in infertility and importance of psychological assistance
When a loved one is lost, we receive the support of our family and friends, we can have a farewell ceremony, their body is veiled. But… what happens when you have that same feeling and you can’t do this whole process? What happens when, for example, pregnancies occur, but do not come to term? You cannot hug that baby that you long for so much or with whom you have made so many plans with your partner
It is very important to carry out a duel with the support of teams of professionals, thus going through all its phases (shock, anger, negotiation, hopelessness, acceptance and search for alternatives).
Psychological counseling in this case helps to understand and address the emotional consequences It is very important to overcome all these phases before generating alternatives to not being able to be mothers/fathers.
By mourning correctly we will be able to reduce feelings of guilt, avoid extreme despair or the feeling that “my life will not be the same”, physical symptoms of anxiety, uncontrolled anger, difficulties in the functioning of daily life in terms of social relationships, work and the derivation of possible anxiety or depression disorders associated with this problem.
How can we help a person with infertility?
We often tell our family members or friends who are going through this process messages such as “don’t give up”, “it will surely come”, “when you least expect it it will appear”, “relax and it will come”. These types of messages, probably from all our love, can lead to harm, since we cannot guarantee that the baby will arrive Therefore, we do not help these people to accept a situation in which they may ultimately lead to not being parents.
At the same time, by saying especially to the woman in this case, “relax and it will come” we are indirectly making her feel even more guilty because We assume that the reason for not getting pregnant is your level of stress or anxiety
There should never be a “diagnosis” of the situation such as “surely if you lose or gain weight you will get pregnant”, “you probably won’t get pregnant because of the stress you have in your life”, “you have given up too much”. .. These messages never help a couple in these circumstances.
It is more advisable in these cases to accompany and show our support, phrases like “no matter what happens I will be there”, “I can get an idea of how you feel”, “cry if you need to”, “you have the right to feel that way” are messages of great help that leads the person to overcome this and not feel alone.
