Fear of marriage is a more common phenomenon than it seems and its harmful effects on the quality of life of those who suffer from it can be noticeable for years.
In this article we will see several tips on how to face the fear of marriage and not let it add a dose of anguish to your life.
Both worries and nerves before marriage are very common, but they are still phenomena that have more to do with the ritual itself and the celebration of that special moment. However, beyond these episodes of slight discomfort there are those who fear not the wedding day itself, but rather married life, the phase of life that begins from that moment on.
However, before addressing the problem of the anxiety experienced when experiencing the fear of marriage, it must be clear that this phenomenon does not have to be something that appears in isolation in each individual: social influence counts, and a lot
To some extent, fear of marriage may be based on social pressure. No one is unaware of the fact that even today there is a strong “inertia” that leads us to assume that marriage is part of a life developed in a normal way, so that people of a certain age who do not establish this link are strange cases, sometimes even cause for contempt or ridicule.
Thus, the fear of marriage can be the result of the discomfort of feeling “predestined” to walk down the aisle even though there is no real desire to get married or to lead a life as a couple. Therefore, before considering whether fear of marriage itself is the problem, It is necessary to pay attention to the context in which we live to know if what makes us feel bad has to do with the expectations that other people have placed on us.
Having said that, and assuming that it is a truly personal fear and not based on the pressures of our social circle, we can now move on to the advice.
1. If you don’t have a partner…
There are people who experience fear of marriage despite not having a partner. In these cases, what usually happens is that it is the influence of others that makes us assume that a day will come when we will have to commit. What happens is that this influence does not have to be very evident, and it may even come not through specific people (friends, family, neighbors…) but through the influence of the culture in which we live immersed
Keep in mind that if you don’t have a partner, there is no point in being afraid of marriage. In practice, we must adapt as much as possible to those situations that we are really experiencing, and not to those that are imaginary or hypothetical. Whatever your circumstances, the fear of marriage will only give you extra worry that simply shouldn’t be there.
In the field of love, there are many emotions at play, and that makes it relatively easy to go through psychologically painful experiences. As a consequence, there are people who develop a fear of emotional commitments, and the fear of marriage is the clearest example of this type of bond in which two people agree to look after the other.
In these cases, it is good to modify these beliefs, since they create discomfort, on the one hand, and do not make us more realistic, on the other. The latter is so because anyone’s love history is never so extensive to have a representative sample that allows us to know “the people” in general well. Each person is a world, and while it is true that there are psychological regularities, these cannot be known by the simple fact of having had a dozen partners previously.
3. Examine your material conditions
It is possible that circumstances have made the idea of the wedding increasingly closer and that you don’t feel in a position to move on to that type of life But part of that concern may come from the fact that the lack of preparation is not psychological, but material.
If you lack the economic stability that allows you to safely embark on married life, you must first address those issues that have to do with your living conditions, of course in constant dialogue with your partner.
4. Analyze if it is a great qualitative leap
Although getting married is something with symbolic and legal importance, it should not mean a big change when defining the type of emotional commitment that unites you with your partner. The ideal is to get married when you already experience a level of intimacy and commitment similar to that of those who are married. If not, the fear of something failing can cause you to experience stress simply because of the uncertainty.
Finally, consider the possibility that if you experience fear of marriage, this is because does not have sufficient preparation to live as a couple on an ongoing basis In this case, take seriously the task of learning those habits that life together requires.
