find true love It is for many people a priority of great importance in their lives; But if we manage our expectations poorly, this process can become arduous and discouraging, even an experience that leads us to become frustrated and enter into dynamics of self-sabotage and resentment against others.
In reality, for better and for worse, there is no “better half” for every person, which does not imply that only some privileged people have the ability to find reciprocated love.
What it means is that, in any case, there are multiple possibilities when it comes to establishing relationships. And it also means that we do not depend on destiny: finding someone who is special to us and who loves us has a lot to do with how we love ourselves, because to generate a genuine emotional connection we must first learn to relate to our own emotions and accept them without complexes.
Some of the beliefs that we have formed throughout our lives about love may be erroneous and are mainly due to certain clichés, myths or references that we have obtained mainly from the media and movies.
Actually, Finding love can be difficult, especially if we don’t know where to start or what strategies we should use to make it. But this implies, in turn, that we have many options and possibilities. So, here are some of the psychological keys that you can use as guidelines to find love.
The first thing we must keep in mind if we want to find love is not to become obsessed with gaining the acceptance of someone in particular, nor to despair if we thought that someone showed interest in us and in the end it turned out not to be the case.
Appearing too needy or desperate to find that special someone is often counterproductive, as in social interactions people can lose interest when they see someone who is visibly into it. But worse than appearing desperate is being desperate; This emptiness in oneself shows that there are self-esteem issues that need to be addressed before of trying to seek external relief in the form of relationships.
2. Enhance your virtues and be your best version
Do not compete with others to seduce those who attract you. In any case, compete with your Self of the present and the past ; Work on yourself as a project, making your life something to be proud of. This has the consequence that we appear much more confident in front of others and that we do not adopt a role of submission and search for social validation that places us in an unfavorable position in relationships.
Enhancing one’s virtues has nothing to do with deceiving anyone or pretending to be someone we are not, it simply means that we should try to be the best version of ourselves.
We can achieve this by enhancing our virtues and also learning from our defects, something that can be much easier by going to psychological therapy.
First impressions are not always definitive, but they help create a special bond When we are meeting someone for the first time, that is why if we show ourselves in our best version we will have a good chance of finding love.
3. Assess what type of relationship you want
It is important to take into account the type of relationship we want in the future, as well as the type of person we are attracted to or with whom we want to form a life together.
Besides that, also We must value our personal tastes and preferences, so that they are in line with the type of loving relationship we want to establish. This means that if we are adventurous and do not stop by home, it will be difficult for us to establish a calm and homely relationship.
4. Be yourself
Don’t create artificial identities thinking about what they expect from you Sincerity is essential to establish a lasting loving relationship, that is why we must show ourselves at all times as we are and not pretend to be someone else to please.
Sharing from the first moment and candidly our hobbies, personal tastes and preferences in life will help us find people who can better adapt to our personality.
5. Be open-minded
Trying obsessively to find a certain profile of man or woman to establish a romantic relationship may make it difficult for us to find someone in the short or medium term, since if we are too demanding the chances of success in our search become smaller.
On the contrary, we must be open-minded and realize that we can find love in many different types of people regardless of whether or not they adjust to our previously established preferences.
6. Trust your possibilities
Another tip that we must always keep in mind is trust in our own possibilities regardless of our physique or age
And finding love does not depend so much on a person’s physical characteristics but on certain personality traits that tend to be attractive, such as kindness, sincerity, sense of humor, vitality and humility.
7. Remember that true happiness is in what you can control
Another thing we must keep in mind to find love is that happiness must be within ourselves and that no one but us can make us happy.
This is especially important for those people with a tendency to develop emotionally dependent relationships, a disorder in which we may think that we will only be happy with a certain person.
If we are not happy alone, it is very difficult for us to achieve full happiness with another person, no matter how much we love them.
Do you want to boost your self-esteem and self-leadership?
If you are interested in giving a boost to these two pillars of personal development, contact me. My name is Lorena Irribarra and I am a psychologist and Certified Mindfulness Instructor; I offer both therapy and coaching services as well as training programs in self-esteem, Mindfulness, self-leadership and emotion management.
