Experiencing impossible love is one of the most frustrating and painful sensations that human beings can go through. If reciprocated love can make you tremendously happy, impossible love can turn your life into a real ordeal, especially if you meet that person often, whether at work or at the gym.
The pain of an impossible love can be so strong that it can lead you to a depressive state if you do not change a series of habits that are detrimental to your emotional balance. In this article you can find some tips to overcome impossible love and get out of this very harmful situation.
Falling in love is a complex phenomenon in which both biological and cultural variables are present When we feel attraction to someone, our brain changes and a series of chemical reactions occur inside it, especially in the area of reinforcement, which causes us to change our perception of the world. The chemistry of love or falling in love alienates us, hijacks our attention, makes us obsessive and can become depressed if we cannot consummate this strong feeling or impulse, potentially turning our lives into a true hell.
Consummate love makes us feel good because it causes our brain to release dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin among other neurotransmitters and hormones, which is why we feel excited, full of energy and our perception of life is magnificent when we are with our partner.
But when it is not possible to have that person with us that we so much want to be with, the chemical cascade descends and causes serious problems for our emotional stability. For example, serotonin levels decline, which is associated with depressive and obsessive behaviors, just as happens when we stop consuming a drug to which we are addicted.
It would be perfect if we fell in love and just gave free rein to our hearts, because consummate love makes us live unforgettable moments. Unfortunately, relationships are not always so simple and, in some cases, conflicts can cause us to end the loving commitment we had with the person we considered to be the most important person in our life.
On other occasions, love is simply impossible because the other party has a partner or is going to live on the other side of the world, which makes this love unfeasible and unrealizable. The truth is that, regardless of the reason, impossible love can hurt us if we do not adopt a series of strategies that allow us to face this situation in the best possible way.
Experts say that when we feel the feeling of falling in love and we cannot be with that person, what is called the “Romeo and Juliet Effect” happens, and far from fading, the feelings of desire, impulse and need to be with the loved one become stronger. increase. It is what is also known as “attraction due to frustration”, and that is why secret loves are so successful. Apparently, The Romeo and Juliet Effect causes the secrecy of a relationship to act as an aphrodisiac
Tips to overcome an impossible love
And heartbreak is not a linear process, but there are ups and downs. You may feel better for a week, but when you see that person or have contact with him or her again, you collapse again. Impossible love can be a painful situation and, therefore, can negatively affect your well-being and mental health.
You are probably asking yourself: “And what can I do in these cases?” You will find the answer to this question if you continue reading the following lines, where It delves into a series of tips to overcome impossible love So pay attention, because your emotional stability is at stake.
In any process of heartbreak, if what you want to forget, it is necessary to stop having contact with your love object Every time you see that person (or remember them), your brain circuit of reinforcement is activated, which again triggers the neurochemical cascade of falling in love.
In reality, love acts almost like a drug, which means that it makes us constantly tend to detect aspects of the present that remind us of that person, even if they apparently have nothing to do with it. Many things we perceive refer us to those memories, based on real or imagined events, and in this way We start to get frustrated because we can’t go back to those times in which we did not experience the pain of loss. Therefore, we must fight against this vicious circle by avoiding “exposure” to that person.
That does not mean that you can never see it again, but it is necessary for the brain circuit to weaken, and for this it is necessary that a more or less long time passes until it happens. The time required depends on many factors: your self-esteem, the social support you have, past experiences you have had, etc. So be patient, because it can take a long time, although the degree of serenity that is achieved makes it worth it.
2. Accept it
This type of love is, as its name suggests, impossible It is not easy to accept it, but although this statement may sound harsh, this is part of life. Surely you cannot prevent impossible love from hurting you, but what does depend on you is your attitude towards this phenomenon and how long you want to remain anchored to suffering. To move forward and overcome it you have to accept it, otherwise you will only be avoiding facing reality.
If you feel like you’re having a hard time coping and that pain has taken over your life, you don’t have to keep it to yourself. Obviously you shouldn’t go singing it from the rooftops, but you can tell a good friend so that they can give you support and be there for you in the most delicate moments. This will help you release some of the pain and allow you to have someone to trust.
4. Move on with your life and love yourself
It is important that you do not become obsessed and paralyzed To overcome this situation, you need to continue with your life, set goals that fit your own desires and fight to achieve your goals. You must give meaning to your life, because if you are not happy with yourself and do not fight to be happy, you will hardly be able to overcome it.
To do this, you should even do things that you don’t feel like doing but that you know will be good for you in the long run, such as socializing more, exercising, etc. The idea is to keep you going.
5. Seek psychological help
In some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinks, coming to experience truly paralyzing and problematic situations for their own health and quality of life. There may be, for example, a self-esteem problem or an underlying social skills deficit that does not allow you to get out of this emotionally tiring situation.
If you have tried to overcome it on your own and you see that you are not making progress, perhaps you should go to psychological therapy, so that a mental health professional will give you the possibility of knowing and developing different tools to improve your well-being.
