Allowing your emotions to flow, establishing clear boundaries with your ex and seeking support from trusted people are some of the keys to overcoming a couple separation when you still love each other. Although it may seem like an impossible task, the healing process is crucial to your emotional and personal well-being.
An essential step is to allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions without judging yourself. In this PsychologyFor article, we provide you with 10 practical and effective tips on how to get over a separation when you still love each other From finding new hobbies to reflecting on what you’ve learned, each step will bring you closer to rediscovering your individuality and strength.
Let the emotions flow
Suppressing your emotions may be tempting as a way to avoid pain, but this only delays the healing process. By allowing yourself to fully feel your emotions, you are acknowledging your pain and beginning the path to recovery. This is essential because the act of crying and expressing your feelings acts as a release valve, helping you move forward lighter and with greater mental clarity.
Set clear boundaries with your ex
After a breakup, it’s common to be tempted to keep in touch or check in on the other person, but this can impede your ability to heal. Setting and maintaining boundaries, such as avoiding phone calls, text messages, or casual encounters, protects you emotionally. This creates a necessary space for you to focus on your well-being, without the additional complications that continuous communication with your ex can bring.
Zero contact is very powerful in these cases and involves cutting off all possible communication with your ex so that you can rebuild your life without him being present in any way. This will allow you to grow and detach emotionally from the bond you had.
Seek support from trusted people
Emotional support during this time is crucial. Talking to friends and family can give you an outside perspective and ease feelings of isolation. The simple act of sharing your thoughts and emotions with someone who listens can be incredibly therapeutic and empowering, helping you remember that you have a support network around you.
Spend time doing activities you enjoy
Returning to or discovering new passions can give you a sense of purpose and joy. This focus on positive activities acts as a healthy distraction from your pain, allowing you to see beauty and potential in other areas of your life. Additionally, engaging in hobbies or interests can boost your self-esteem and remind you of your unique abilities and strengths.
Take care of your physical and mental health
The connection between mind and body is powerful. Regular exercise can improve your mood thanks to the release of endorphins, known as the happiness hormones. A balanced diet nourishes your body, giving you the energy to take on the day, while adequate sleep is crucial for emotional and mental recovery. Prioritizing your physical well-being is an essential step toward emotional healing.
Consider going to therapy
Considering therapy after a breakup, especially when love still exists, is a decision that can change your life. A mental health professional offers a safe and confidential space to explore your emotions, better understand your relationship patterns and how they affect your well-being. During therapy sessions, you can learn techniques to manage pain, anxiety, and any other feelings that arise during this process of change.
Therapists can also help you build stronger self-esteem and develop skills for future healthy relationships. Additionally, therapy gives you the opportunity to see the situation from a new, objective perspective, which is difficult to achieve on your own. This process of introspection and guidance can accelerate your emotional recovery, allowing you to close chapters in a healthy way and open to new experiences with greater strength and wisdom.
Reflect on what you learned
Reflecting on what you learned after a breakup is a crucial step for personal growth and emotional recovery. This process involves looking back at the relationship and evaluating both the good times and the conflicts, recognizing what worked, what didn’t, and why. By doing so, you can identify behavioral patterns of yourself and your past partners that may have contributed to conflicts or incompatibilities. This introspection allows you to become aware of your needs, desires and limits within a relationship.
Beyond self-criticism, this exercise encourages self-knowledge and self-acceptance, teaching you to value your strengths and work on your areas of improvement. For example, you might discover that you need to communicate more effectively, set clearer boundaries, or be more open to your partner’s needs. It can also help you identify the qualities you really value in a partner, honing your ability to choose healthier, more enriching relationships in the future.
Avoid social networks
Avoiding social media after a breakup is an effective strategy to protect your emotional health and facilitate the healing process. Social networks can act as a constant reminder of your ex, especially if you see updates about their life, new relationships or activities in which you no longer participate and can intensify feelings of sadness, jealousy or rejection, distorting the reality of the situation. , making it more difficult to move forward.
Taking a break from these platforms eliminates the temptation to “spy” on your ex or wallow in memories that no longer contribute to your happiness. This act of self-care helps you focus on your own life, encouraging real-world activities and connections that can be more meaningful and enriching. In addition, it reduces the pressure of maintaining an image of well-being or happiness to others, allowing you to live your emotions authentically and without judgment.
This period without the constant influence of networks can be liberating and offer fresh perspectives on what really matters in your life. Over time, this practice can help you rebuild your self-esteem and confidence, preparing you for a future where healthy relationships and personal happiness are clear priorities.
Rediscover your individuality
Rediscovering your individuality after a breakup is a crucial process for your recovery and personal growth. During relationships, especially long-term ones, it is common for people to compromise certain aspects of themselves, their hobbies, and their personal ambitions. A breakup, although painful, offers a forced pause in which you can reflect on your desires, values, and goals without the filter of another person’s needs or expectations.
This process allows you to connect or reconnect with your interests and passions that you may have left aside. By immersing yourself in activities you enjoy, whether old hobbies or new interests, you begin to fill the space left by the relationship with experiences and satisfactions that are yours alone. This not only improves your mood and self-esteem, but also reinforces your sense of independence and self-efficacy.
Be patient with yourself
Being patient with yourself during the process of getting over a breakup is vital, since the path to emotional healing is not linear or predictable. Each person experiences grief in a unique way, and what works for one may not be effective for another. Understanding and accepting that the healing process takes time helps you relieve the pressure of self-imposed “shoulds,” such as the idea that you should be “over it” by a certain time frame.
This advice underscores the importance of treating yourself with compassion and care, just as you would a close friend in a similar situation. Recognizing that there will be days when you feel like you are moving forward and others when you feel like you are going backwards is part of this process. Patience gives you the space to experience and process these ups and downs without judgment, allowing you to heal more fully and deeply.
Additionally, being patient with yourself includes allowing yourself to experience a full range of emotions, from sadness and longing to anger and frustration, and eventually, acceptance and hope. This approach fosters resilience, helping you build a stronger foundation for your emotional well-being and your future.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to get over a separation when you still love each other we recommend that you enter our Feelings category.
Bibliography
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- Carmichael, C., Ph.D. (2020). Breakups can be brutal. Here’s what you need to know! Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-high-functioning-hotspot/202008/the-ultimate-guide-breakups
- Smith, M., M.A. (2024). Coping with a Breakup or Divorce. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm