The success of therapy does not depend only on the therapist…
When someone goes to therapy, their main goal is to eliminate the suffering that led them to ask for help. A person who voluntarily attends a consultation has an implicit desire for change, but Sometimes this aspiration for evolution only remains on the surface.
The transformation that is expected to improve your life is not going to happen automatically or magically. For this transformation to become a reality we must put into practice the skills acquired in therapy.
Each therapy paradigm is based on different concepts and strategies. Some defend behavior modification, others need a deep review of the past, etc. In my case, I intend to point out that the therapy that I practice is mainly based on the rational emotive cognitive model ; that is, in the way of understanding the reality that surrounds us. This clarification is important in order to understand the advice that follows below.
As we already know, each therapy has differences and some are more directive, others more instructive… but They all incite reflection.
With the objective on the horizon of optimizing the results of our investment and effort, I recommend:
1. Before each session
The most important thing, in that difficult moment of the first date, is that you remember that that stranger who is going to ask you about your private life is a professional subject to secrecy, therefore the code of ethics and the data protection law. Just as undressing in front of a doctor is not considered an erotic act, nor should telling what torments you be considered a public or shameful confession.
It is also key to have a small mental outline or organization of the ideas to be presented, clearly state the main problem (without fears or shame that hinder communication), and be clear about the objective to be achieved and transmit it to the therapist.
On the other hand, it is important do not limit the number of sessions. An ethical professional will not use more sessions than necessary, but no matter how ethical and competent a professional he is, he cannot mechanically introduce the information or the work to complete it in 10 or 20 sessions. It depends on each case, each person and the circumstances of that person, as well as the involvement during treatment.
If after 3 or 4 sessions, you do not feel comfortable or you do not consider that the work is going in the direction you would like, you should consider whether you are in the right place for your problem or you should ask for a referral to another professional, according to your preferences.
2. During the session
In this part of the process, keep the following keys in mind:
The psychotherapist does not have to be a friend, but a professional who should not judge your actions. But your responsibility is to tell all relevant information truthfully.
I remember a situation in which a patient, after three months of therapy, informed me that he drank daily and couldn’t control himself… Ugh! Rethink the therapy again to introduce that new element! Without a doubt, this represents a delay for the correct development of the therapy.
If you do not observe the expected improvement, you can tell the psychologist without fear. And you may even laugh together about when and how to reach the goal.
3. After each session
After completing a session, apply these guidelines:
Furthermore, you must carry out tasks designated by the psychotherapist (registrations, practices, small changes in habits…). At least start putting them into action, or try. You will not always find a direct relationship with the work assigned to you for that week, but the psychotherapist always takes advantage of the information that that occupation generates.
On the other hand, keep in mind that therapeutic treatment imposes a temporal continuity sporadic sessions, cannot be considered psychotherapy.
You may be interested: “Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection”
The importance of accepting change
And last but not least, it is necessary to accept the change that occurs in the process.
The fear of some patients of stopping being themselves has been the reason for not asking for help sooner. Therapy does not change people, but rather provides new tools that help us find our balance. Sometimes what it provides is new perspectives on the same event. In others they are techniques to keep anxiety levels under control. Or even a self-knowledge that gives us the necessary strength to continue…
I allow myself to insist:
All contributions offered during therapy They are useless if we do not include them in our daily lives. That is to say, what good is learning German if you don’t travel to Germany, don’t speak with Germans, or don’t read or write in German… You’re welcome, really!
If the new skills and understanding acquired are put into practice, we soon begin to see different results that are increasingly in line with our expectations. As I always tell my patients, “therapy is a team effort” because the effort to put it into practice is essential for personal growth to occur.
This does not mean that it is easy, nor does it mean that if it does not turn out perfect on the first try it will not work anymore; It just means that the more you try, the more chances you have of success and if you make mistakes it’s another way to learn. It doesn’t matter what it costs you, but what you achieve during the process.
