Throughout our lives we have all experienced one or more courtships that, unfortunately, do not always end well. And all of us who have experienced a breakup know how difficult it is to let go of a person we love.
Heartbreak can affect us so deeply that we can suffer an existential crisis, in which we question our own values and which can last months or even years. It is not easy to leave behind that person that we have come to love so intensely and with whom we thought we would share the rest of our lives.
After a breakup, many people decide to move on with their lives and others try to get back with their ex. If you are in this situation and you choose the second option, you must be clear that Trying to get back with our ex-partner should never be out of fear of being alone due to emotional dependence or low self-esteem, and it should always occur and when we are good with ourselves.
After the breakup: to return or not to return to our ex?
Separating from that someone special to us means going through a grieving process, so we must overcome several phases before recovering emotional stability again. When we lose our lover, we also lose the common goals that united us and we leave behind many memories, some of them continue to appear in our minds again and again after the person has left our life.
The breakup of a relationship usually appears as a blow to us, especially if they have left us. And in the first days after the breakup, denial or love withdrawal syndrome are common. Over time, we can accept the situation and move on with our lives, but that doesn’t happen overnight.
“Leavers” people may have an easier time overcoming a breakup, because they usually begin the grieving process before leaving the relationship, although they also suffer and may experience guilt at some point during the heartbreak process. However, they usually have a reason that drives them to end the relationship, and although there are cases in which the person who leaves regrets doing so, from the outset they are usually aware that something is wrong in their courtship or marriage.
But… Is a breakup a forever ending? Although the breakup of a relationship may give rise to thinking that everything is over and that everything is lost, this is not true! Some couples experience love again after separating.
And why does this happen? For many reasons. For example, because human beings are complex and, sometimes, we can end a relationship when there is still a feeling of love between two people, due to a simple argument that has been handled incorrectly or because from a distance we can value something that At the time we did not value.
Reasons to return or not return to your ex-partner
After your relationship breaks up, you may consider the possibility of getting back together with your ex. However, you should know that this is not always possible and it is not always up to you. Furthermore, at the time of evaluate the possibility of returning to your ex you must take into account a series of advantages or disadvantages of reliving the love you had with that person who you consider special to you.
Some of the advantages of getting back with your ex are:
Disadvantages of getting back with your ex
Getting back together with your ex also has disadvantages. These are some of them:
How to get your ex back
Getting back with your ex is a controversial topic, which must be assessed individually, depending on the characteristics of each relationship, and should only be a possibility when there is respect and the relationship between both is equitable and healthy.
Sometimes, relationships end because there are communication failures. This indicates that it is possible to recover that love or feeling that united the couple. as long as the breakup was not traumatic
If you think that the relationship with your ex was worth it and you don’t want that relationship to end. You can take into account some of these keys to get your ex back.
1. Be critical of yourself and the relationship
First of all, you need to be critical of the reasons for the breakup and whether you had anything to do with it. For example, if your partner complained that you were unloving and you think they are right, you can take this into account if they give you a chance to remedy it.
On occasions when you are to blame, you can try to repair the situation. Now, if your ex doesn’t want to be with you for some reason beyond your control and tells you explicitly (for example, he is with someone else), you shouldn’t try to get it back
When it comes to getting your ex back, you must be clear that this situation does not only depend on you. You can’t make a person love you if he wants to be away from you, because if he has no intention of getting back with you, you can jeopardize your dignity and increase the conflict between you.
If your ex gives you signs to come back, take advantage of that opportunity. But if he makes it clear to you that he doesn’t want anything to do with you, don’t insist. In these cases it is better to accept it and move on with your life
3. Work on yourself
As you see, being loved doesn’t just depend on you, and whether a person considers you attractive or not doesn’t depend on you either. What does depend on you is to work on your personal growth and maximize your attractiveness. Maybe over time the other person will see that you have changed (if you should). If the flame between you is really still alive you won’t need to do anything special to get back with your ex, because he or she will want to reconnect with you because of who you are, because of the affection that unites you, because of how good he or she feels by your side and because of what you bring to them.
Working on your personal growth will have a great impact on your self-esteem. If you want to know how to work on your personal growth, you can read our article: “Personal growth: how to transform your life in 6 steps”
