When going through especially stinky moments in our lives, we often tend to forget that these negative emotions and feelings are experienced in a very different way if we have the support of others. Sadness, helplessness or disappointment do not have to be suffered in isolation; If we live in society it is to receive help and to help others.
In fact, it is normal that when we see that someone is feeling bad emotionally, we feel the impulse to help them. But knowing how to give emotional support is not necessarily easy and it is relatively easy to make mistakes.
In the following lines we will see several tips to know how to provide emotional support using relatively simple steps. Applying them well takes some practice, but with time and effort, you will most likely see significant improvements in the way you behave. help the other person cope better with their bad emotional situation.
1. Choose the right context
Choosing the right time and place is a necessary and insufficient condition to know how to give emotional support.
The main thing is to be in a moment that is not a transition, that is, one that is not going to end soon (for example, passing through an elevator), that is not strongly linked to an important experience unrelated to what produces discomfort ( for example, the completion of a presentation at a conference) and that allows you to have a certain privacy.
The physical characteristics of the place are also something to take into account. Much better if it is a place with few distractions and where communication is easy: free of noise, sudden changes, etc.
2. Let the other person give whatever information they want
It is important not to pressure the other person to give us all the information necessary to know exactly how they feel. The simple fact of feeling that pressure is another cause of stress that accentuates the discomfort.
If you notice that she is closing in, it is enough to give her the opportunity to open up more by directly expressing that she can count on you for anything, and to notice that she is not going to be judged.
For the latter it is necessary to maintain a serious whole that expresses empathy, and do not joke too much about the possible cause of the other’s emotional pain. It is a mistake to imply that what makes you feel bad is actually nonsense, because from that perspective it is impossible to connect with the other.
3. Exercise active listening
When the person speaks it is important that you give signs that you are making efforts to understand what they are saying and the implications of what they are saying. Being honest about what makes us feel bad is already something that intimidates many people, and if they also don’t feel that they are doing much good, the incentives to accept our support fade.
To do this, practice active listening and make this moment truly a symmetrical personal interaction in which one person expresses themselves and the other supports them and tries to understand how the other person feels. Maintain eye contact, make comments without abruptly interrupting recapitulate the information given by the other, etc.
It clearly shows that you know that what he feels makes sense, even though you obviously don’t feel the same way. This is important, because otherwise it is assumed that there is a disconnect between you because you have not been through exactly the same thing. Do not ridicule their ideas or feelings, on the contrary, show that you know they are right.
5. Talk about your perspective
This is something that is often ignored, but it is very useful. It is true that when it comes to providing emotional support The important thing is what the person who is experiencing the emotional discomfort feels, but it is also true that if you talk to him about what you believe, you will be indicating that you are involved in your case and try to establish parallels between what happens to him and what has ever happened to you. Additionally, this perspective can help you see your experiences from another point of view.
So, when you have heard the main thing about their case, you can give them this brief feedback, but without letting the conversation move on to a totally different topic: it should be something that is included in the act of providing support so it happens to him.
6. Point out the possibility of a hug
It is possible to give rise to That, if the other person wants it, give each other a hug. But you don’t have to ask directly or make a clear gesture that shows that you are going to hug, because if you don’t want to, this can leave a bad taste in your mouth as you feel guilty if you refuse.
Normally the best thing is something more subtle: a few taps on the shoulder or back that give an excuse to get closer and that, if the other wants, can turn into a hug. Let the other person take that step.
