How To Have Healthy Friendship Relationships: 10 Effective Tips
Healthy friendships constitute a bond made up of a deep sense of commitment and intimacy in which two human beings express their individuality without fear that their respective vulnerabilities will be harmfully exposed.
It is an emotional space in which the confluence of two people gives rise to something more than a simple sum, as it provides the opportunity for the development of essential emotional aspects.
In this article we present ten keys on how to have healthy friendship relationships, always considering that each case is unique and that everyone’s social needs are also different.
A healthy friendship relationship is one that provides opportunities for communication, that shares time which is based on realistic expectations, which avoids destructive lies, which provides spaces for the resolution of conflicts, which respects individuality, which is protected by freedom, which recognizes what makes it unique and which projects itself into the future .
Below we detail each of these characteristics, all of them important.
1. Share what you feel
Sharing what happens inside us is the easiest way to forge a relationship of trust with another person It is about creating a common space in which intimacy can be displayed in a genuine way, without the need for coercion or social pressure. The moment you tell what you feel, even when it is something seemingly negative, you move in the same direction.
Although a lot of time and space is reserved to be together, by imposing a barrier of silence for feelings we promote a progressive distancing, much greater than that existing between people who separate physically. And when you share what you feel, your inner world is built on a common thread, and there is a lower risk that the passing of the years will generate insurmountable discrepancies between people.
2. Spend time with that person
Time is key in all relationships However, when it comes to this matter, quality must be prioritized over quantity. Building activities that are pleasant for both parties is essential, because by laughing together the invisible ties of friendship are strengthened. This phenomenon is based on physiological and endocrine factors, such as the production of oxytocin or dopamine in the brain reward system.
Nowadays, there are many people who, despite being together in the same room, are absurdly distanced from others. This fact can be explained, above all, by the abuse that is often made of mobile devices and other related technologies. And the conversations that are carried out through these media limit many components of non-verbal language, which contain a large part of the emotional substrate of a social interaction (smiles, hugs, looks, etc.).
3. Make plans, show commitment
In a relationship between friends, and in life in general, it is important to stay united to what is happening at every moment However, it is also crucial to project expectations into the future, building scenarios in which the relationship has opportunities for growth. With this constructive attitude we demonstrate commitment, one of the raw materials with which the fabric of any healthy relationship is embroidered.
Shared plans also promote the feeling that people are similar, which ends up stimulating the search for both physical and emotional proximity (which can only be accessed with the safe passage of trust). The saying that “touch makes love” is not at all trivial, as it summarizes a whole series of scientific findings on bonds, although translated into operational terms.
4. Regulate expectations
All people harbor needs that we project towards the social environment The desire to be accepted and/or understood is almost universal, and through it arise expectations about what we want to find among those around us. Thus, we may look for someone to trust when we find ourselves in difficult times, with whom to have a good time, who nourishes our intellectual thirst or who knows how to keep a secret.
Sometimes we come to think that a true friendship is one with which we satisfy everything we long for, without realizing that with this we aspire to someone idealized and impossible. The risk of maintaining this position is twofold: either we end up frustrated (because we cannot find anyone who meets these requirements) or we condemn another person to act in a way that is impossible to maintain in the long term (due to his proximity to a suffocating perfection). .
It is important to recognize that friendship with someone brings important things, and value them exactly for what they are, without the need for them to satisfy everything we look for in our social life. To achieve the latter, the most appropriate thing is to have a broad network of people to trust, where each one can genuinely contribute to their way of being and doing things.
Lying is one of the great enemies of friendships Whoever receives it can experience it as a betrayal, and from this a significant emotional distance emerges. In general, loyalty is one of the most valued attributes in a person who is considered a friend, and the resource of lying can erode all the effort to achieve a relationship based on mutual trust. For some, even, a lie is an irreversible confrontation.
6. Learn to forgive
Forgiveness is basic in a relationship between two people Because a good friendship is usually forged over the years, it is not unusual for it to go through times when one party disappoints the other in some way. It is a natural fact, the result of friction between two human beings who are essentially different, but who seek a space in which to create a “we” that reconciles their discrepancies in a harmonious way.
Asking for forgiveness and forgiving involves recognizing one’s own imperfection in the first case, and defeating pride in the second. Both represent an obvious challenge to two of the most powerful resistances that debate within us: the desire to possess the truth and the difficulty of tolerating grievances. In any case, if the situation is reversible and can be overcome, this forgiveness opens up new scenarios in which the bond can be strengthened.
7. Avoid generalities about friendship
There are certain myths that do not fit at all with the reality of a healthy relationship between two people One of the best known is that of the better half, in which it is anticipated that an individual is an incomplete being by nature until he or she coincides with another, the purpose of which is to complete him or her and be completed. Such beliefs can lead to a codependent relationship, both in friendship and as a couple.
It is necessary to keep in mind that popular sayings depend on the historical context in which they were formulated, and that what was “true” at one time may not be true today. Likewise, every friendship is unique and irreducible to stereotypes, myths or prefabricated ideas; Therefore, he advances from his individuality, moving through a process of exploration and self-exploration.
Certain people, when they forge a friendship with someone, can act in a very possessive way This is due to the fear of losing the position they hold in the relationship, which is why any approach from third parties is perceived as a threat that must be resolved vehemently and decisively. This type of inertia leads to completely hermetic relationships, in which one of the parties fears being abandoned and the other fears disappointing them in some way.
The maintenance of this type of relationship is based more on the fear of loneliness than on the enjoyment of company. Time is shared in order not to waste, ignoring the positive that a friend can provide. At the same time this happens, the rest of the relationships weaken or even disappear. No friendship can arise through coercion or blackmail. Only freedom, and the ability to decide where you want to be, allows a friendship to grow and flourish.
9. Create your own emotional space
Any relationship between two human beings is built by shared experiences , from which its peculiarities arise (which are recognized as their own and distinctive). It can be an experience from the past, or even jokes that feel personal, and that end up shaping a microcosm in which the feeling of unity is reinforced. The creation of this space is unique, and is a key part of the emotional component of the bond.
Emotional bonding is what distinguishes a healthy friendship from the simple confluence of two people in the same place, and it is therefore very important to contribute to it by searching for and highlighting which moments were unique on the path taken up to the present.
10. Conflicts are not negative
There are many people who harbor the belief that conflicts are toxic for a relationship, and they live juggling to prevent them from poisoning their friendship or their partner. This avoidance goes against the principle that, sooner or later, difficulties arise that we will have to deal with In fact, today we know that the strongest friendships are not those who experienced the least friction, but those who learned to solve them.
Every crisis can be an ideal period to reorganize priorities, and learn something that gives us strengths to overcome adversity. And if this is true for life in general, it is also true for friendship.
