Many of the psychological problems that people experience have to do with having low self-esteem. When this happens, expectations about what one can and cannot do become so pessimistic that stagnation occurs and, in turn, a feeling of insecurity and sadness because of comparisons with others.
The sum of these psychological phenomena gives rise to consequences such as difficulties in relating, the adoption of an attribution style that places the blame for everything bad that happens on oneself, and many other undesirable effects.
In this article We will see how to help a person with low self-esteem always keeping in mind that she is the one who must promote that change for the better that she wants to see in her life, and that we will only facilitate her success in it.
The guidelines that you will see below are basic principles of action when help another person build higher self-esteem, assuming that you can deal with that person frequently. The latter is important, since eliminating old beliefs (in this case, related to oneself) and modifying thinking habits is something that costs a lot, and is not achieved overnight.
This can encompass both physical or mental skills and abilities as well as aspects of personality. Highlighting three or four elements is enough, since the important thing is not so much to take into account the good things about oneself, but rather to learn that what previously seemed devoid of virtues and desirable properties, actually has them. In this sense, once those failures and strengths have been named, It’s good that you also talk about positive aspects of that person you are trying to help, to see how they combine with those they have named.
2. Reflect together on their “weaknesses”
This step is carried out based on the previous advice, and has to do with modifying the way in which one thinks about those weaknesses perceived by oneself. This is important, because people with low self-esteem have a rather simplistic view of themselves (seeing everything in such a pessimistic way, their self-concept is not very nuanced), and thinking about those aspects of oneself and seeing how they fit with reality, reasoning critically, break with the idea that there is no possible improvement.
Thus, the idea is not to show that these personal failures do not exist, but to begin to see that their importance is relative, on the one hand, and that they can be improved in these aspects.
3. Review the attribution style
Ask him to recall his last negative or harmful life experiences who thinks they were your fault. By asking him questions about these events, you can make him begin to see these experiences in a different way, as something that has several causes, many of which have nothing to do with himself. This way, every time you are tempted to assume that something bad that happened is your fault, you will be more likely to stop and take a closer look at what is really happening.
4. Encourage him to develop compassion towards you
The simple fact of keeping in mind that you are coming out of a bad time (marked by low self-esteem) means that the possible mistakes that are going to be made in the future are seen in a different way. If you do not start on equal terms with the rest, it is unfair to compare yourself: others do not have to deal with the insecurities and self-esteem problems that you are trying to get rid of. It is more of a personal struggle, in which comparisons are unnecessary.
5. Go with that person to exercise
This is one of the most useful tips, since doing sports regularly allows you to combat self-esteem problems in different ways. On the one hand, an objective is created whose achievement is not based on complicated or confusing plans, but rather in constant effort and not giving up. This motivates and provides a component of purpose that is missing in the lives of many people with self-esteem problems.
Secondly, its results are aesthetically noticeable and can be passively verified by other people, which reduces the expectations of making a bad impression. Finally, being healthier puts you in a better mood in general, so you tend to evoke more positive memories, and this has an impact on your self-esteem.
6. If necessary, encourage him to go to the psychologist
In some extreme cases it is necessary to go to a psychology professional to intervene. through your therapy services. Help that person decide to go to a psychologist, and if necessary, help them choose a center to go to.
