Parents often complain that their children have a hard time being responsible, or they simply don’t understand why they should do homework and schoolwork.
Children have a hard time thinking in the long term, which is why it is not an easy task to teach them why they should be responsible, but it can be done.
Here Let’s talk about how to help your child be responsible from simple methods.
Responsibility is a difficult concept to assimilate at an early age especially considering that boys and girls have a hard time thinking in the long term.
However, it is possible to explain and make them understand the importance of doing homework and schoolwork on their own, without anyone having to follow them by reminding them over and over again that they have to stop playing or lazing around and do it. .
How to help your child be responsible is not as easy as pie and a song, since It requires a lot of patience and nerve control, as well as knowing how to use a serious but appropriate tone, but it can be achieved. Below we will see a few tips to achieve this goal.
1. Assign small tasks
The best way to start is by keeping it simple and easy. A good step to teach the little ones the concept of responsibility is by assigning them small tasks, appropriate for their age and that do not involve any type of danger.
There are several tasks that can be done at home in which the little ones can help us although it is very important to take their age into account, especially since not all household tasks are equally safe.
For example, for younger children, from 2 to 6 years old, we can assign them to put away their toys, put dirty clothes to wash, make the bed, clear the table…
For children from 6 to 9 we can assign them to load the dishwasher, put on the washing machine, put away the shopping, take the dog out (if it is a small breed), change the toilet roll…
For those older than 10 to adolescence, They can be assigned more complex and longer tasks such as cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, dining room and their bedroom, changing light bulbs, painting walls, shopping and watching their younger siblings.
2. Do fun tasks
All children like to have fun and, for this reason, many of them, when they are told that they have to do a task, in addition to seeing it as an imposed obligation, see it as something boring, and prefer not to do it.
But the fun nature of children can be taken advantage of by us adults We can combat this belief that all household tasks are boring by choosing those that are more dynamic as a starting point.
Managing to motivate them is something that, at first, may seem very complicated, but sometimes it is enough to play music in the background and dance while they are cleaning the windows, mopping the floor and folding the clothes.
3. Look for your strengths
We all have some task that we don’t like to do, either because we are lazy or because we are not good at it. We adults try to be responsible and even though we don’t like it, we put up with it and end up doing our responsibilities some leaving it for later and others starting now and getting it out of their hands as soon as possible.
Obviously, the same thing happens to children. There are many things they don’t like to do because they are lazy or not good at it. But just as they have weaknesses they also have strengths, and that is where the issue of responsibility can be addressed.
If boys and girls are assigned activities that they are good at, even if they are mandatory tasks, They will feel more motivated to do them
For example, if your child likes to put things in order, or classify various objects according to their similarity (magazines, books, plates…), a very good task for him would be to set the table, help organize the shelves or place the dishes. once it is clean.
The idea is Find the activity that you are best at, so that you can start from that point to help us with the housework and, with the passage of time, when it is the day to do homework, you have already internalized the activity so much that you get to it automatically.
4. Be an example
If you want your child to be responsible, be an example and be one yourself. Parents are the reference adults for children and, to a lesser extent, for adolescents. Parents are the role model and, for this reason, children learn through vicarious learning
Don’t expect your children to be responsible with their homework and tidying up the room if you are one of those who leave the tax return until last and have the house done up a block.
Also, don’t expect your children to magically start cleaning the dishes if you haven’t explained to them how to do it.
It may seem like a very simple thing for adults, but this task and many others are one of those that intimidate the little ones, fearing that they are going to do it wrong and do not dare to do it. The best thing is to teach them how to do it so they can do it on their own
Basically, responsibility is taught by being responsible. Do the tasks you have set for yourself at once and don’t leave them for later.
It is very important that your child knows what your obligations are, so that they can see that you are doing them when you do them, in addition to explaining the importance of complying with them. For example, if your task is to go shopping, explain why you are going, you are going so that there is food at home, and so you can all eat.
5. Norms and limits
Establishing rules and limits, always appropriate to your child’s age, is highly recommended so that the child grows learning to be responsible without breaking them.
Establishing norms and their consequences is very useful, since It helps children know, from a very young age, how to behave and what awaits them if they act irresponsibly
It should be noted that the fact of setting these rules and limits does not mean that children and adolescents will magically comply with them.
However, it does help shape their temperament, especially considering that violating these rules will entail negative consequences, which will make them value the importance of having complied with them.
6. More autonomy, more responsibility
To the extent that is fair and appropriate to their age, it is advisable to leave some space for the child or adolescent Promoting his autonomy is a very good strategy to awaken a certain responsibility in him.
The more autonomy, the more responsibility, translated into having to apply problem-solving strategies on your own, learning to organize your life and respect the proper time for each thing, such as doing your homework first and then playing that much-desired video game.
Furthermore, the advantage that giving them autonomy offers is that we do not have to be so attentive to them, promoting your own decision criteria On the contrary, if you are always watching what they do and what they don’t do, they will never grow up, much less be responsible, which will be a real problem in adulthood.
7. Conflict resolution
Giving greater autonomy implies that children learn to be able to resolve their own conflicts, either with themselves or with others.
The seriousness of the situation must always be taken into account and how capable the child should be of solving it. It could be a simple fight with a brother over a toy or it could get worse, like a physical fight at school with one of his classmates. In this case it is clear that the parents and teachers of those involved should deal with it.
By enhancing their decision-making capacity, their responsibility is enhanced. This is especially useful if, when you have to do tasks, you are given two options to choose from. The freedom to make your own decisions must come in accordance with your age
Thus, if the child makes a bad decision, but shows that he did not do so with bad intentions, but because he was simply wrong, he should not be punished. They must be made to understand that it is through mistakes and example that people learn.
9. Recognize him when he is responsible
As we were already saying, Responsibility is too abstract an idea for children, so even if they are responsible, sometimes they are not aware that they are responsible That is why, especially for the little ones, it is good for adults to know how to recognize when they are being responsible.
If you tell him that he has been responsible and that he has done well, the child will be able to see that doing his tasks and obligations does not seem so complicated to him. He can even see that he is a responsible person without even thinking about it, doing his homework and tidying his room automatically.
Thank him for what he is doing, and reinforce this behavior through positive phrases and congratulations and, very occasionally, a material reward, such as a candy, his favorite food or a video game, always according to what he has done.
But, at the same time, It is very important to avoid falling into the dynamics of bribes and “I promise you that” Don’t promise him a reward if he completes a task he’s supposed to do on his own, nor threaten him if he doesn’t.
The reward, which is a reinforcer, must be used after he has done the obligation, and without having previously been told that he would receive it if he did the task in question.
Bribes are very problematic since the child will always perceive them as a kind of contract: “I do this and you give me my remuneration.” The moment we stop giving him “remuneration”, the child will go on “strike”.
10. Educate in values
The responsability It is a value that is accompanied by commitment, duty and obligation
It is recommended to assess the child so that he learns to value his behavior, how responsible he is, and foster in him a greater feeling of self-confidence, security, and a better coexistence with both his parents and his siblings, if he has them.
