How To Identify People Who Are Not Good For You: 6 Key Ideas
Human beings are social animals and we need to surround ourselves with people to be happy. The relationships we form with our family, friends and partner are an aspect that determines our psychological and emotional well-being.
There are good relationships, and others that are not so good. While some relationships are healthy and offer us many positive emotions, others are truly toxic, exhausting and stressful, relationships that do not suit us.
If you have ever wondered how to identify people who are not good for you, this is your article Below we will try to provide an answer to this question, in addition to identifying warning signs that will help us distance those people who do not mean anything positive to us.
Learning to identify people who are not good for you
We all want to surround ourselves with people who contribute something to our lives. We seek to have special people by our side, with whom we can share good times and who also give us support in difficult times. Family, friends and partners are the type of people we turn to when faced with a problem, we enjoy happy moments with them and we hope that they provide us with what we give them: love and respect.
However, we don’t always have people we can trust. It often happens that when you start dating someone or when you meet a new friend, what at first seemed to be going well has turned into a rather complicated relationship Yes, it is clear that all relationships have ups and downs, like the occasional argument or misunderstanding, but if that becomes the normal part of the relationship after a while, it means that it is taking an unwanted path.
At this point you may have wondered how to identify people who are not good for you. This question is not easy to answer, since we cannot completely rule out a relationship simply because something has gone wrong at a given time. Each person is different, with different beliefs and opinions that can cause people who love each other to clash on occasion, but that is not a reason for separation. The line between normal relationship discord and unsolvable relationship problems is very blurry.
We cannot give the solution of how to choose the partner, friend or family member (as if we could!) that best suits us without making mistakes. Life cannot be solved with magic formulas that allow us to choose without any mistake which people we should surround ourselves with. It is from the mistakes, the disappointments, the successes and experiences that we end up seeing who is suitable for us and who is not. What we should do is learn from our mistakes when it comes to dating or meeting someone. That is the best life experience.
But this should not confuse us. That there is no magic solution to identify people who are not good for us does not mean that there are not a few clues to look at that can help us make the decision to distance or bring a person closer to our social circle. Certain behaviors of that “loved one” can serve as an alarm signal, warning us that the best thing we can do is put ground in the middle and prevent the relationship from poisoning us with its negativity, bad thoughts and acid criticism.
Signs to identify people who do not suit us
Next we are going to see a few signs that help identify those people who are not good for us.
1. You only do what he or she says
In a relationship, all members of the relationship deserve the same respect and that their desires and needs are satisfied fairly and equally If not, it means that one person enjoys the relationship and the rest do not, which is an example of a bad relationship.
If everything we do is what our partner or friend likes, he or she decides, in short it is what he or she wants to do, we are not living in a healthy relationship. If not everyone feels comfortable with the relationship or satisfied, it is not a good relationship and it simply does not suit us.
2. He blames us for everything constantly
As we said, problems, arguments and misunderstandings arise in every relationship, which are part of the normal life of human relationships. In a healthy relationship, you end up forgiving, trying to understand what happened, who is really to blame (which can be both to a greater or lesser extent) and looking for strategies to solve it.
On the other hand, if our friend or partner is always clear when a problem appears that it is our fault, managing to make us “see” it and making sure that it is clear that he is totally innocent, we must consider the need to continue the relationship.
If you blame us all the time for any problem that has arisen in the relationship, sooner or later it will have an impact on our self-esteem and also our mood Having a person who does not suit us by our side and who continues to be that way will bring us problems on a psychological level.
Nobody is perfect since we all have defects, complexes and we don’t always do things well. In short, we have our faults, which may be more or less minor and, of course, more or less solvable.
That our partner or friend detects them and, in a good way, tries to help us turn our weaknesses into strengths, it is okay What is not okay is to constantly reproach ourselves for the many things in which we seem to fall short.
A person who loves us does not plunge us into emotional misery by reminding us of everything we are not good at. If it doesn’t seem like we’re at the level you expect, why continue staying with him or her? The best thing we can do is protect our mental health from such harsh criticism and leave it aside.
People who constantly criticize those they supposedly love may do so for various reasons, including keeping their “loved one” in check, ensuring that they have low self-esteem and do not end up dating or hanging out with other people, or it can also happen. that he is so dissatisfied with himself that he needs to criticize us to feel better. In any case, you are in a clearly toxic relationship.
4. Shows very bad character
We all have a bad day sometimes and, no matter how calm we may normally be, some days we can get angry and pay for it with people or objects. This is not ideal behavior, but we are all human and sometimes nerves and anger get the better of us, especially in tense situations.
But It’s one thing to have a bad day and another to have them every day In this second case, we may be dealing with an anger control problem and, if our loved one shows a very strong character, this may be a sign that he or she is not good for us. The first thing we should do is try to help him, motivate him to visit a psychologist but, if he doesn’t want to, perhaps the time has come to leave his side for a bit.
5. He doesn’t let us have our space
There are people who, more than loved ones, are controlling limpets who do not leave us free even for a single second If our partner, friend or family member is accompanying us all the time, wanting to know what we do and stop doing, no matter how innocently and peacefully they do it, it is still controlling behavior. They become so aware of our lives that they are truly unbearable.
This is not a sufficient reason to tell him or her that we no longer want to have any type of relationship with him or her, but it is a reason to give him or her a little attention. We must clarify that we want him or her to respect our living space and, if he or she does not understand it, we will tell him or her that we have decided to free ourselves from him or her.
6. He doesn’t share anything with us
In every healthy relationship, both parties, be they friends, family or a partner, give and receive, otherwise what is the point of a relationship? Those who value each other do favors, help each other, and show each other respect and love whether fraternal or romantic.
If that person who claims to be our friend or partner asks and asks us but never gives, we are facing a brazen, selfish, exploited, interested and self-centered person. We deserve to be pampered and that person must fulfill his part, otherwise the relationship, which after all is a social treaty, is not being fulfilled. Reciprocity is a key element in every human relationship.
Summary
As we were saying, there is no unequivocal and definitive answer to the question of how to identify people who are not good for you. Each one is as they are, and there are personalities that may seem toxic to us but that are within normality, in addition to that there are those who can tolerate people who have more difficult traits but who are neither bad people, nor selfish nor selfless.
In human relationships it is inevitable to fight from time to time, to have some misunderstanding, but it is also a matter of time before a solution is reached and everyone involved is satisfied. Our mistakes and defects are what define us and help us learn, something that also applies to the field of social relationships. By making mistakes with our partner, friends or family we learn vital lessons.
However, there are many people who do not agree with us and with the signs that we have just discussed we have a very helpful guide on how to identify them. Of course, we must take into account the characteristics and situation of the person who does not seem to suit us but, whatever the case, what we must prioritize is our own well-being. If a relationship makes us feel bad, it is because that relationship does not suit us.
