It is important to learn to identify different communication styles, and recognize which one we use most frequently in our daily interactions with friends, family, and co-workers. Likewise, it is important to know what communication style others use.
Properly identifying the 4 basic communication styles is important if we want to develop effective and assertive communication skills.
What are communication styles and how to recognize them?
In this article I explain in detail the 4 communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive communication.
1. Passive communication
Passive communicators avoid attention and often remain silent Furthermore, during debates or discussions they do not usually take a firm stance. They usually do not share their needs or express their feelings. This makes it difficult for other people to identify if they need help or are not well.
As expected, this difficulty in expressing thoughts and emotions often leads to communication problems and the accumulation of resentment and anger.
Next, I share with you some behavioral characteristics of the passive communication style:
At a non-verbal level People with a passive communication style usually have the following characteristics:
You can recognize passive communication through phrases like the following:
2. Aggressive communication
Aggressive communicators express their thoughts and feelings, and aim to satisfy their needs, even if this violates the rights of others. You will easily identify them because They usually take the reins or dominate the conversation They have a tendency to act impulsively, without first thinking and meditating on things. As you can probably imagine, this negatively affects their social relationships.
Below, I share with you some characteristics in the behavior of people with this communication style:
They do not respect turns to speak.
They dominate others using different techniques.
They can humiliate.
They criticize in a non-constructive way.
They tend to be impulsive.
They do not tolerate frustration well.
They don’t have the ability to listen.
Non-verbal characteristics of people with an aggressive communication style:
His tone of voice is raised.
His voice is perceived as authoritative.
They usually use abrupt and aggressive gestures.
They maintain eye contact in an intimidating manner.
They present an arrogant posture.
They can invade the personal spaces of others.
Point your finger.
You can recognize an aggressive communicator by these types of expressions:
You’re crazy.
My way of doing it is the best.
He usually uses phrases that begin with “I” very frequently. It’s always “me, me, me.”
I’m right, you’re wrong.
Related article: “How to give constructive criticism: 11 simple and effective tips”
3. Passive-aggressive communication
Passive-aggressive communication It may seem like passive communication at first, but in reality, they have aggressive motivations that drive their actions While their words may sound nice, their actions don’t always align with what they say.
At first, you can classify them as passive, but you will end up realizing that their communication style is passive-aggressive. Passive-aggressive communicators may silently manipulate a situation to gain some benefit. It is important that you know that in this type of communication, people express anger in a subtle or indirect way. People who develop a passive-aggressive pattern of communication often feel helpless and resentful.
Passive-aggressive communicators They usually behave in the following way:
They use sarcasm.
They have difficulty recognizing that they are angry.
Because they don’t know how to confront the person or the problem, they murmur to themselves.
They deny there is a problem.
They use sabotage in subtle ways to get revenge.
They may seem like a cooperative person, but at the same time they do things on purpose to annoy and interrupt.
What they say does not align with what they do.
Regarding the non-verbal:
They often use facial expressions that do not reveal how they really feel. For example, they smile when, in reality, they are very angry.
They often speak with a soft, sweet voice.
Their gestures can be abrupt and/or quick.
They may be placed too close to other people.
People with an aggressive communication style They use expressions like:
Okay, whatever.
After you say something sarcastic or hurtful, they say they were just joking.
It’s better that you do it as you say, because my ideas are not very good (said with irony or sarcasm).
Don’t worry about me, I can do it alone, anyway, normally I always have to do things alone.
4. Assertive communication
The assertive style is a respectful communication style and it is the one that gives the best results when communicating
Assertive communicators are able to share their thoughts and ideas confidently, while remaining respectful and polite to others. They know how to say no when necessary. That is, they set limits, but without acting aggressively or defensively. All of this encourages open and sincere dialogue considering the needs of others.
Assertive behavior manifests itself through:
They like to collaborate and share.
They express their ideas and feelings in a healthy way.
They encourage conversations in which everyone can speak and are heard.
They speak in the first person.
They know how to say no.
They listen to others.
They know how to ensure that their rights are heard and taken into account.
At a non-verbal level We can distinguish assertive communicators by the following traits:
They maintain adequate eye contact.
His voice is calm and calm.
They use expansive gestures.
They have a relaxed posture.
His voice is clear.
Communicators with this style they use phrases like this:
I am responsible for my decisions.
I respect the needs and opinions of others.
Thanks for your opinion.
We all have the right to express ourselves.
Knowing communication styles is a first step to learning to communicate in a better way, both for ourselves and for others. What communication style do you tend to use?
