How To Improve The Relationship In The Face Of Relationship Problems?
Relationship problems are inevitable the result of the fact that two people, no matter how much they love each other, are still two individuals who have different points of view, beliefs, personalities and perspectives.
As couples evolve, going through vital moments such as moving in together or having children, new problems appear. These can be an opportunity to grow and improve the relationship, but they can also become what deteriorates it if they are not properly addressed.
Let’s see how to improve the relationship in the face of relationship problems by understanding how relationships progress and what they are. the best strategies to address conflicts efficiently and effectively
The importance of knowing how to psychologically manage relationship problems
In every personal relationship, no matter how much two people love each other, sooner or later discrepancies, problems and conflicts arise It is normal because they are still two individuals, two people who each have their point of view, their beliefs, their experiences and their particular way of seeing the world. The relationship evolves, changes and matures, going through different stages in which it is inevitable that some problem will arise.
Some of the most common reasons for conflict or relationship crisis are the following:
Many times the problems end up being solved on their own or over time, but sometimes they become a dead end that takes its toll on the fabric of the couple’s coexistence. The relationship deteriorates and suffering and distance appear. Far from seeing them as something that anticipates the end of the relationship, Relationship problems should be seen as an opportunity for growth and learning Addressed properly, they can serve as an argument to improve the relationship, although of course, this requires collaboration, motivation and being willing to do so.
It is true that each couple is different and that their life path varies greatly. It is not possible to reduce the experience and perspective of all couples in the world to just a few paragraphs, but it is possible to point out three prototypical phases that these types of relationships go through. Relationships evolve and over time different conflicts and discussions appear that put life as a couple to the test.
1. Fall in love
At the beginning of the relationship is the first phase, that of falling in love. In this phase Attention is focused on the common and positive aspects of each one, ignoring the differences and defects Since you have only recently met the other person, conflicts are avoided as much as possible, since the relationship is still so recent and fragile that the slightest argument could end it.
2. Beginning of coexistence
As the relationship progresses over the months and years, it takes on a greater degree of seriousness. It may happen that both of them think about a shared future, so they consider the possibility of go live together If they make that decision, it can also be the beginning of conflicts, especially regarding a lot of habits that they did not share before and household chores that must be assigned. As there is more trust and intimacy, the two begin to show themselves as they are, the relationship begins to be more real and differences emerge, which can cause conflicts.
3. Arrival of the children
This is a stage that not all couples reach, either because the relationship breaks down beforehand or simply because they do not want to have children. If they do have them, The arrival of children into the family implies a before and after in the lives of their parents, which can be a source of problems in the relationship. A qualitative change occurs in the interactions within the relationship, with childcare tasks multiplying. Furthermore, parents have to agree on what kind of education they want their children to receive, which in itself is also a source of numerous discussions.
As we have mentioned, these are the three most common prototypical stages in relationships, but it does not mean that there are not others. Phenomena such as change of schedule, unemployment of one or both spouses, change of residence, health problems, addictions, infidelities, arguments with in-laws, children’s adolescence or their independence are stages that can give rise to many conflicts if they are not well managed
Keys to improve the relationship by overcoming conflicts
Taking into account what we have discussed up to this point, we are going to see a series of keys to improve the relationship by overcoming conflicts.
1. Prepare yourself mentally
It is highly recommended that, before talking about a problem, we prepare ourselves mentally. We must adjust our expectations beforehand so that, when we bring up the topic, we do not feel frustrated if the conversation does not go as we would like. We must be very clear that when we present the issue, the other party does not have to perceive it in the same way as we do.
As we said before, part of couple conflicts have their origin in beliefs, personalities and the different points of view of the members of the relationship. Fortunately, a middle position can be found to adjust the differences and solve the problem, although naturally, for this it is necessary to dialogue, since the solution does not come from the sky. You have to be willing to give in, making both of you win, there never being a loser and a winner in relationship conflicts.
We must also put ourselves in each other’s shoes. It is necessary to exercise empathy and see the situation from our partner’s perspective. Perhaps this way we can understand why the other member of the relationship is behaving this way.
And very important: asking for forgiveness is not weak Many times, a simple “I’m sorry” is the first stone to solve problems effectively and improve the relationship.
You may be interested: “What is Emotional Intelligence?”
2. Find the right place and time
Trying to talk about the problem in environments where there are distractions or at times when we are tired from other topics will not help us move forward. The more upset and exhausted we are, whatever it may be, The more efforts we have to make to remain calm when debating an issue It’s simply not the best.
Discussion of the conflict can be postponed and a suitable environment for dialogue can be found. For example, weekends or holidays, without interruptions or pressures from work, are perfect days to communicate calmly and carefree.
3. Talk about the problem outside of it
One of the most common mistakes when solving a relationship problem is treating it when you are immersed in it Trying to find a solution to a conflict while we are in the heat of the moment will only aggravate the situation, escalating it even further and leading us towards the big dispute.
It is very difficult to think rationally when we are nervous, angry and saddened by the situation. It is counterproductive to talk about the problem while we are in it, so it is best to wait for the situation to calm down a bit and talk about it calmly outside of it.
4. Better without spectators
You should never argue in front of your children because, In the end, they are the ones who suffer the most from arguments and are still too young to handle them You should also not talk about these topics in front of friends or family. The best thing is to hold on for a bit, try to calm down and leave it for later. It happens that, when we have witnesses in front of us, when we argue we have the need to be more right and that makes us say comments or words to each other that sometimes we don’t think about but hurt a lot.
5. Do not bring up more than one conflict at a time
If we are talking about a certain conflictive topic in the relationship, It is very important not to fall into the temptation of bringing up other problems from the past It is better to talk about a specific problem, and look for solutions for that moment. If we open Pandora’s box and start mixing problems, we open many wounds at once, running the risk of bleeding out emotionally. It will cost us much more to return to sanity and try to find a way out.
