Sometimes people talk about narcissism, defining it as the love one feels for oneself, but in reality, assuming that someone who is a narcissist is a person who loves themselves is making a mistake.
For example, while being able to value ourselves is essential when establishing healthy relationships, marked narcissism often causes problems in marriages and courtships. To this we must add that, in addition, it is not always easy to detect narcissism in the person with whom we have started a romantic relationship, especially if we are in that first phase of falling in love, in which we idealize our partner.
Therefore, in this article we will see what they are the keys to knowing (roughly) if your partner is narcissistic so that it is easier to address these kinds of problems if they cause discomfort in a relationship.
Signs to know if your partner is a narcissistic person
Understanding narcissism as a personality trait, we can say that being somewhat narcissistic does not have to be something negative; But narcissism can be problematic when it is excessive, as it often facilitates the emergence of conflicts or inequalities in relationships. Taking this into account, let’s see what are the main aspects to look at to detect these possible signs of narcissism in the person next to us.
Narcissistic people They feel that they are special and that they are above other people, both on a physical, intellectual and personality level. This also includes their partners, family or friends around them.
In addition to that, in narcissism it is also common for people to believe that they deserve success in life, to live extraordinary experiences and to surround themselves with successful, successful, intelligent and high-status people.
All of this leads narcissistic people to be extremely demanding of their partners, to always demand their excellence and to belittle their abilities, ridicule or humiliate them both in private and in public.
2. Expect preferential treatment
Another identifying trait that can help us detect a narcissistic partner is the fact that these They always believe they are more worthy of support and attention than the rest of the people around them and consequently they consider their problems, opinions or experiences to be more important than anyone else’s.
Narcissists also have a tendency not to listen to what their partner has to say and to minimize the problems, concerns or opinions of other people, including their partners.
That is why they like to talk about themselves continuously and do not listen to anything their partners, friends or family have to say.
3. You have high expectations about your future in the medium and long term
Both fantasies and high expectations of success and power are common in narcissistic people, since they consider that they deserve a bright future because they are superior to other people.
Their high expectations end up colliding completely with reality and usually, faced with this fact they react negatively with aggression and blaming other people for their own failures. Furthermore, this can cause many problems when creating future plans as a couple, given that to reach a certain level of commitment in a courtship or marriage, it is necessary to be certain about what the person next to us is looking for for years to come, and knowing that those expectations are realistic and compatible with our plans.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand what they think or feel at a given moment, something narcissists lack.
Narcissistic people They tend not to take other people’s opinions into account much less to put yourself in their place or understand their motivations, suffering, experiences or needs.
5. You believe you are worthy of special love
Considering that they deserve a high and special love for being the best is another of the recurring fantasies that narcissistic people harbor, which is why they always demand attention, affection and constant love.
That is why they will always be demanding with their partners, highlighting their defects at all times and demanding affection and permanent love from them to exaggerated limits. In many cases, it may appear that they expect their partners to have something similar to telepathy, to perfectly understand what they want to express and anticipate their desires.
6. Has a tendency toward psychological manipulation and seeking control
The most markedly narcissistic people have tendency to use the people around them for their own benefit considering that they are the best and that other people have the obligation to serve them at all times.
The manipulation, exploitation and subordination to which they subject their partners can affect their mental health and in many cases generate emotional dependence, since they are experts in emotional blackmail and making their partners feel guilty when they do not. They agree to their wishes.
7. Does not tolerate criticism
The lack of tolerance for criticism is also a classic symptom of narcissists, as well as not accepting being told how to do things, much less being given advice.
They consider that they do everything well and that they always know everything, which generates frustration and discomfort in their partners, who receive rejection, opposition or humiliation when they give their opinion or try to help.
Narcissists have a wounded and very sensitive ego that is why they try in any way to protect themselves from any real or perceived attack by reacting in very aggressive ways.
Anyone who attacks them or questions the image of perfection they have of themselves will receive exaggerated hatred from the narcissist, always reacting defensively and becoming obsessed with fighting it.
8. Tendency to envy
Envy is a common reaction of the narcissist especially when their partner or another person proves to be better in any area, destroying the fantasy image of superiority that they create about themselves.
In these cases, the narcissist usually feels great envy of his or her partner, which can significantly affect him or her and endanger the survival of the joint relationship.
Another classic characteristic of narcissists is to believe that everyone is envious of them due to their superiority, so when they fail at something they attribute it to the envy of others or a supposed external boycott.
