How To Know When To Let Your Partner Go, In 5 Keys
Ending a relationship is always complicated, but it is not only complicated when it comes to breaking up. The simple fact of considering whether we should end that stage of our life that we have shared with another person can be just as hard. And indecision is a true source of stress and anxiety.
In this article we will see several things that you should take into account to Know if the time has come to let your partner go and return to singleness.
In most cases, when marital or relationship crises appear, they do not appear suddenly and clearly. If this were so, the situation would be very difficult, but at least everything would be clearer. What happens, instead, is that problems and conflicts progressively accumulate causing the discomfort to become entrenched and increasingly difficult to manage.
No wonder that’s the norm. When faced with uncomfortable but poorly defined and complex situations to understand, we tend to cling to the hope that everything will solve itself; That is, an avoidant situation is adopted when faced with the problem.
Closing our eyes and pretending that nothing is happening may seem unreasonable, but when we have to experience these cases firsthand, it is usually a very attractive option. If the present gives us the possibility of not going through a very bad time, we often choose that, even though we know that this could lead us to suffer more in the future. And this, of course, It also happens with romantic relationships
But if we sharpen our ability to detect those points in the relationship where there is no turning back and everything indicates that the chances of everything improving are very low, it will help us make the right decision in that case: end the relationship so as not to suffer anymore Let’s look at some keys to know if this situation has been reached.
1. Signs of abuse
Obviously, this is the most important aspect when evaluating the minimum quality requirements of a relationship If insults, physical attacks or other forms of psychological abuse (such as gaslighting) become the norm, the relationship has no reason to exist, since in fact it is not such, but rather a bond based on denigration. of the other or even the threat to their own integrity. Love and this kind of treatment are incompatible.
Although centuries of normalization of violence against women and romantic love based on sacrifice have meant that in certain cases it is not “automatic” to recognize abuse when it is suffered, it is possible if certain red lines are taken into account. They cannot be surpassed, such as constant contempt, ridicule, insults, or the threat of physical pain or injury.
In this case, then, it is not about letting the partner go, but rather acting accordingly in the face of the fact that one does not have a de facto partner, but rather an abuser.
2. You only fear what they will say after the breakup
If when thinking about the breakup of a relationship the first concern that comes to mind is what they will say, that is a symptom that indeed There are solid reasons to end that courtship or marriage Ultimately, the packaging of a relationship does not make it exist or make sense.
When a part of us feels that we are continuing in the relationship out of pure inertia, it is normal for feelings of guilt to arise, especially when establishing future plans, given that as time goes by, more commitments are made, on the one hand, and for the other one pretends to appear normal, deceiving the other person
In this case it can be considered that there is manipulation, and the fact that it is scary to break the other person’s heart by exposing the situation does not justify them being deceived, an option that ends up causing a lot of pain for both parties.
4. There is a situation of dominance
Relationships in which there is a clear asymmetry of power in the roles that each person adopts do not have to be a form of abuse, but they are still toxic relationships.
This is because the habit of always being the person who decides and the same person adapting to these situations can quickly lead to abuse. In the end, the idea is normalized that it is one who has the criteria and another who has to follow orders (although at first he simply accepted having a passive role so as not to have to put in too much effort).
5. The other person makes it clear
It doesn’t matter how much it hurts us; If the other person wants to end the relationship, you must be clear that there is nothing to discuss or negotiate. The obsessive ideas about what can be done to get your partner back They are frequent in some cases, but we must not let them dominate us.
