As you look? How do you feel about yourself? What do you think others think of you? Do you think you are capable of achieving what you set out to do? Do you think you love yourself enough?
If the answers to these questions have been negative, we probably need to develop healthy self-esteem which is nothing more than a positive and constructive assessment of ourselves.
Having good self-esteem is the basis of self-confidence. This will allow us to face challenges with greater confidence, adopt a more joyful attitude towards life and will make us function in a more adaptive way in our daily lives. What can we do, then, to learn to accept ourselves?
Self-esteem is built from a very early age based on the affirmation and appreciation we receive from authority figures, such as our parents, teachers or leaders; and its development will influence our way of facing situations during adult life: in our social relationships, in facing challenges, etc.
It is likely that in times of confusion and adversity, such as a failed relationship or the loss of a job, leads us to doubt our ability to recover and stay afloat and therefore, may be affected.
However, and despite the fact that self-esteem is built from childhood, We can work on it in adulthood to achieve love for ourselves and feel better about ourselves.
What to do to accept yourself?
When self-esteem is not worked on, symptoms such as depressive symptoms, eating disorders, anxiety and social phobia, among others, may appear. Do you want to start training her? If so, take note and continue reading…
1. Get to know yourself
Do a mental and behavioral scan to Identify your skills and efforts and value them. Make a list of everything you’ve accomplished that makes you proud. Keep that list nearby for moments of self-questioning. In addition, recognize your main weaknesses and challenge yourself to work on them.
We all have them even if we don’t show them to others. However, don’t become obsessed with achieving perfection; Your search is nothing more than lack of acceptance.
2. Challenge your concerns and make your dreams come true
We have seen that Validation is important when building healthy self-esteem and accepting oneself. We all have dreams, so set challenges and work daily to achieve them.
When you feel that little by little you are achieving them, you will feel that you are improving yourself with effort and you will have a great reason to validate yourself. Make things happen and don’t get carried away by “what is happening” much less by what those around you, including family or friends, think. Remember that quote from Will Smith in his movie The Pursuit of Happyness: “Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If you have a dream, keep it”.
3. Don’t compare yourself with others, compare yourself
Don’t try to copy a life that is not yours or a person that is not you. You are you, and the other is the other; You have your times and the other has theirs. We are all born and built from a different mold and with different circumstances; The person you have to compare yourself to is yourself. To do this, always look back at your life line and remember all the progress you have been making.
4. Take care of your internal dialogue
People with low self-esteem usually carry an enemy inside that does not stop sabotaging them with verbalizations such as “you are not capable”, “you cannot”, “you will do it wrong, don’t try”… Put your thoughts in your favor and build an ally who tells you “you are capable”, “try it and if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay, you will learn and you will end up achieving it”.
Control the way you talk to yourself, generating more positive and adaptive speech so that your emotions are more pleasant and you achieve the goals you set for yourself.
5. Praise yourself and ask others for praise too
Reinforce yourself positively when you achieve your proposed goals, however minimal they may be. Choose some people from your circle of trust and ask them for feedback on your projects and challenges. As we have said, to build self-esteem it is also important that important people around us validate us.
6. Enhance your talent
If we put a bird in a cage for its entire life, do you think that if we release it it will know how to fly? Therefore, develop what you are good at. It doesn’t mean that you don’t dedicate yourself to what you like or that you stop doing things you like just because “you’re not good at it.”
However, it is important that when we identify skills in ourselves, whether it is practicing a certain sport or cooking, it is important to dedicate time to said activity to develop it and feel good when we do it.
7. Take care of the environment you surround yourself with
Try to get close to people who are confident in themselves and have achieved their goals. Observe their language, their way of communicating and their behavior and try to make them a role model for you. Stay away from or try to limit certain conversations with people who don’t value you and are a bad influence. Remember the post
8. Give yourself time
The process of developing healthy self-esteem requires time and patience. Don’t despair or throw in the towel when you make mistakes: learn to see mistakes as an opportunity for growth and not as failure. We are human beings and we all make mistakes. When people succeed we only see their success; However, the effort, dedication and failures are also there but are not so easily observable.
Feeling strong in the face of adversity or in achieving our goals?
Self-esteem is like a muscle: if we don’t exercise it, it can atrophy. Do we want our abs to be our only strong muscle? Having esteem for ourselves should be the greatest strength we have, because it will be our ally to feel happier with ourselves and, in general, with the life we have built thanks to it. Love yourself.
