When we get angry with our partners, it is normal for a little pride to appear. But we have to know how to deal with it because, settling on absolute reason, the only thing it will do is move away from understanding and communication with the other person. In a relationship we have to try to leave pride in the background to ensure that respect flows between both of us. However, it is not always easy to control this feeling and, many times, we can experience a real internal struggle when trying to calm this emotion. In PsychologyFor we are going to discover how to leave pride in a relationship giving you some good advice that can help you relax your nerves.
Pride in a couple: the most common causes
Pride is a feeling that usually appears in moments when we feel “attacked” or that We feel like we have to defend ourselves Therefore, it is something very common that can appear due to an argument between a couple since, at first, it is normal for us to believe that we are right. But we cannot stay in that position, we have to ppractice empathy and try to understand what the other person has lived and experienced during the conflict.
Therefore, it is quite normal and natural that, at first, the feeling of pride appears. However, we are rational beings and, therefore, we must learn to control this emotion and understand that we do not have universal reason. in a discussion You are both right and you are both partly to blame, Therefore, it is essential that you get down from that position of “superiority” to which you have risen and touch your feet on the ground.
But what are the causes of pride? The truth is that the origin of this feeling is totally psychological and emotional. Proud people are usually stubborn and stubborn people who it is difficult for them to open their minds to understand that not everything revolves around them. They position themselves as if they were absolutely right and do not take a step back to understand that, in this life, not everything is black or white but rather everything moves between grays.
Some causes of pride are:
- Stubbornness : as we have said, they are people who are left with an idea in their head and who have a hard time getting out of it.
- Unsafety : They tend to be somewhat insecure people (although they appear otherwise) and they use pride as a weapon to defend themselves.
- Imbalance in the relationship: It may also be that there is pride in a relationship because the couple lives in a situation of imbalance. That is to say, if it is always the boy who screws up or if situations have been experienced because of one of the members, the most normal thing is that the person who was normally right considers that he will always continue to be right. It is an emotional superiority-inferiority relationship that can become very toxic. A couple must be a relationship between equals, otherwise it will never turn out well.
- Superiority complex : It may also be the case that a person is very proud in a relationship because in most of their life they feel superior to others. Then, from that “elevated” position, he values ​​and acts according to his sole criteria.
In the event that it is your partner who adopts this very proud attitude, we recommend that you read this other article in which we tell you how to treat a proud person.
How to end pride: 4 tips
Once we know the causes, it is important know how to leave pride in a relationship It is essential to try to reduce the intensity of this emotion if we want to enjoy a couple as equals and live a balanced and healthy relationship. Pride will only mean that someone will always end up lowering themselves and, therefore, will create a very dangerous and unfair inequality.
Therefore, in order to leave pride in a relationship, we recommend that you pay attention to these tips that we indicate below.
The importance of communication to avoid pride
One of the main problems that cause pride is that The proud person does not empathize with his partner That is, he considers that he has the absolute truth and, therefore, he does not even consider what could happen to the other person and why he has reacted in this way. This can cause a heated argument because the other member may feel ignored.
Therefore, in order to let go of pride, it is essential that communication between the couple is encouraged. That is to say, it is clear that you have your reasons and that, of course, you understand them perfectly. But the other also has something to say and, therefore, you must listen to him So, when you are a little more relaxed, sit down and have an active and decisive conversation. In this other article we discover how to learn to argue as a couple with tips and recommendations that can help you control your bad temper.
Resolve the conflict
As we have already indicated, one of the reasons why a person can position themselves at the “top” of reason is because this situation has already occurred on several occasions and has never been resolved. It is important that we see arguments as a couple as an opportunity to improve our relationship and move forward. You are getting to know each other in a much deeper way and there may be moments of disagreement. No problem. The world is not ending.
But what you should avoid is always arguing about the same thing. Discussions must have a clear objective: solve the problem Therefore, there must be a commitment on the part of both that advocates for being able to enjoy a much more prosperous and positive coexistence for both of them.
Relaxation is essential to let go of pride
If you want to leave pride in a relationship, it is important that you do not act hotly. As we have said, in any dispute it is natural that an impulse of defense and pride appears. However, We should not get carried away by these emotions but we have to act rationally and clearly.
In this sense, it is normal that at first it is difficult for you to keep a cool mind. Therefore, you can ask your partner for 5 minutes, take a walk and clear your mind. With a more relaxed and calm attitude you will be able to face the situation and put pride aside.
Empathize, the key to stop being proud
And, of course, the most common cause of pride is that we do not put ourselves in our partner’s position. We are left only with our truth and do not understand that the other part also lives and feels things differently. It is important put aside our ego to try to understand how the other person has felt in this discussion.
Therefore, we recommend that instead of focusing your attention on the fact that you are universally right, sit down and ask your partner about their reasons. You will also have your reasons that they have made him act like this, therefore, listen to him and try to put yourself in his shoes. This step is essential for your relationship as a couple to be much more positive and beneficial for both of you.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to leave pride in a relationship we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.