The first stage of a romantic relationship is a qualitatively different experience from any other phase of development of that emotional bond.
And falling in love, characteristic of those initial months, gives rise to some dynamics of communication and interaction that must be taken into account to manage that dating relationship. Therefore, in this article I will talk about some tips to keep in mind for those beginnings of a relationship
Let’s start by addressing the concept of falling in love. This is the first phase of love in the context of relationships, and it contains both some psychological and physiological changes. In short, falling in love acts by giving rise to some of the characteristic symptoms of addictions (although it is not an addiction in itself and, of course, it is not a pathology either): people in love notice how your focus of attention shifts again and again to the habit of thinking about that special person, something that also unleashes intense emotions; and at the same time, they seek to be in the company of that person to notice a discharge of well-being caused by that experience (caused by the brain’s reward system, the same one that becomes very active when consuming drugs).
In other words, Falling in love makes our brain very active when thinking about that person or being with them, and at the same time predisposes us to feel intense emotions when that happens, which leads us to get even more involved in that relationship. Because we think so much about that person, our mind fills in the gaps in information we have about them (after all, we don’t know them very well yet) with idealized exaggerations about what we think we see in their way of being; Furthermore, fantasizing about a future together is common, and in this way we try to give vent to that amalgam of desires and expectations that we keep spinning around in our heads.
As the months go by, falling in love gives rise to other kinds of experiences whether it be disappointment in love (seeing that that person is not the idealized being that we had imagined) or a mature love more based on emotional stability.
Taking all this into account, let’s look at some tips to apply to manage a relationship in the beginning.
Tips for managing a relationship in its early stages
If you are going through the first stage of a dating relationship, I recommend that you keep the following keys in mind.
1. Don’t take for granted what he wants and what he expects
As I have mentioned, in falling in love it is typical to believe that we know the other person more than we really know them. Therefore, it is best to try to compensate for this tendency, maintaining assertive and constant communication expressing our emotions and also being interested in how the other person feels, what they want, what their priorities are, etc.
2. Don’t blame yourself for wanting to be with that person
It is something common, and it should not be seen as a problem as long as it does not give rise to jealousy dynamics. Come to a middle point in which you can be together, but respecting the moments in which one or the other wants to reserve time for themselves.
3. Get rid of complexes and don’t be afraid of “what they will say”
If falling in love is already an experience in itself with a great capacity to appeal to our emotions (for good and bad, both in terms of happiness and in terms of anguish and fears), we must try not to add to it. more instability keeping the relationship a secret during the first weeks, something more common than it seems. Many people They feel intimidated by the idea of breaking their public image in front of family and friends and introducing another person in these social contexts, but pretending that this relationship does not exist will generate many situations of frustration and even unfounded shame and guilt.
4. Assume that mature love is not a bad thing
Given the first signs that falling in love is giving way to another type of love, we should not see this as a problem or a relationship crisis; As we have seen, it is normal, and It doesn’t mean that love has disappeared
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