Of all the sensations that make up the broad human emotional spectrum, anger is perhaps the most feared emotion.
Many associate it with violence, both physical and verbal, as well as high tension at a physiological level that can turn into heart and muscle problems and the occasional broken tooth.
Although in adequate doses anger is something adaptive, it is true that if it is not controlled it can lead to many problems. That is why many people, especially the most irascible ones, wonder… How to manage anger? In this article we will see some answers.
Like the rest of the emotions, anger has an adaptive function. It is an emotion that prepares us for fight and defense, making us face injustices and predisposing us to defend ourselves. Each episode of anger can be experienced with different intensity, depending on the person’s own personality and what caused the appearance of this feeling.
Culturally, in the Western world, feelings related to anger and sadness have been seen as something negative, despite their clear evolutionary benefit. From sectors such as school, work or family, the culture of ‘shut up and put up’ has been promoted. Keeping your feelings to yourself is never good, especially if they corrode you inside.
However, sometimes, anger can be expressed in a abrupt and very destructive way, worsening the situation that caused it and causing the person who expresses it to receive the very bad consequences of excessive anger.
How to manage anger?
Although adaptive, anger is an emotion that, if not correctly managed, can have serious repercussions for both the person who expresses it and those around them. When it accumulates in excess, rationality and self-control can be completely lost, being able to say something that is not pleasant or even attack people. That is why it is important to learn how to manage it properly:
When you feel anger, ‘fighting’ with it is not the solution, since it contributes to feeling more frustrated and giving more strength to this emotion.
Accepting that you are feeling anger is the first step in learning how to manage it. It is very important to understand that, as long as you are not suffering from a serious disorder, everyone is responsible for their own emotions.
2. Identify who or what you are addressing
Sometimes we get angry at ourselves for having done something wrong, other times at others for something they have said to us, and sometimes at an object.
Whatever this feeling is directed at, It is very important to know how to identify it understand why we are in this situation and what relationship it has with the fact that we have become angry.
It is useful to ask yourself questions like: Who am I angry with? Has he really done something wrong? Is this worth getting like this? Can I do something to change it? What consequences could it entail for me to show my anger?
3. Talk about it
Anger can block us, make us unable to do things, paralyze us.
To the extent that you can, you can try to verbalize what you feel, especially towards the person with whom you have become angry. You should try to assertively express the emotion.
Other times this is simply impossible because we are unable to articulate a single word. It is in these situations when it becomes very useful to write a letter where we detail how we feel and what we think of the person who has angered us.
You can say anything, even using bad words, since after we have written everything we feel and once we have calmed down, it is as simple as taking the letter and ‘breaking’ with that anger.
But you have to be careful, since Giving too much thought to the issue that has caused all this anger can have just the opposite effect to the advice given here.
4. Anger as a creative engine
Many people are only able to see the destructive side of anger, but what if we transformed it into just the opposite?
Whether with markers, pencils, crayons or tempera paints and brushes, all of them allow us to artistically express our feelings, and, who knows, we may even discover a new hobby.
Although feelings such as anger, anger and rage are normally represented with warm colors, such as red, each person can give it a different color. Choose the color that you think best matches the anger and capture it on paper or canvas.
When you’re done, ask yourself how you feel, are you still angry? Have you calmed down a bit? you are better?
5. Physical exercise
Anger is an emotion that makes us feel tense, as if we were a pressure cooker about to explode.
A good way to channel and release these energies is through sports, especially boxing, wrestling, taekwondo or other contact sports. Other good options are strength lifting and aerobic sports, such as cycling and running.
After a good session of moderate to high intensity exercise, we will feel relaxed and calm, without wanting to start a fight with anyone, simply because we no longer have the physical strength to do so.
6. Yoga and mindfulness
Meditation, especially the techniques that have been most scientifically studied such as Mindfulness, has been shown to be effective in calming the mind.
It is difficult to enter a state of deep reflection and calm when you are in the middle of an attack of rage; However, if you make an effort every day and turn meditation into a habit, it can imply many improvements at a general level.
A person who performs this type of activity frequently appears much calmer and in a state similar to that after having done high-intensity exercise.
Yoga also works and, in fact, stretching the muscles and getting into positions that work on flexibility fulfills a similar function to that of lifting weights with respect to the mood.
7. Hugs
Giving and receiving hugs can be seen as someone who wants to stop a bullet by putting a flower in the barrel of the gun. However, Having someone hug us can be like a kind of ’emotional lightning rod’.
It is as if our ‘electricity’ were transmitted through the arms of the person who hugs us and taken to the ground so that they fade away like when lightning strikes the ground. Just a few seconds are enough to calm a huge fury.
8. Think before you speak
It’s something that seems obvious, but how many people, being angry, haven’t said or done something they shouldn’t have and then regretted it?
Thinking about things before doing and saying them can help prevent things from escalating, especially if our potential victim is going to be a loved one or an appreciated object.
Taking a deep breath while reflecting on what you are going to say and do can mean a big step to, firstly, calm down and, secondly, avoid committing something that we will later feel terribly about
