When children decide to become independent and permanently leave the family home, parents may experience a series of deep and prolonged negative thoughts and feelings about this fact, such as sadness, irritability, loneliness, uncertainty, frequent desire to cry, etc. This is a condition known as empty nest syndrome and it usually occurs when parents feel that their daily life is going to change radically due to the departure of their child, experiencing a feeling of loss or even abandonment. It is important to manage these types of emotions from the beginning to prevent them from leading to depression and to be able to face the new family situation as soon as possible and in the best possible way. In this PsychologyFor article, we are going to show in detail how to overcome empty nest syndrome and when it will be necessary to go to psychological therapy.
The call empty nest syndrome refers to a set of negative thoughts and feelings that occur in parents when they face the situation that his children leave home Definitively. Some of the negative feelings that can arise in parents are sadness, loneliness, nostalgia, anxiety, uncertainty, irritability, loss of meaning in life, among others that we will see in more detail below.
Generally, experiencing these types of feelings when a child leaves home is normal and a temporary situation, however, the problem occurs when These thoughts become chronic and prolonged over time, failing to adapt to the current family situation. Therefore, it is important that when a child decides to leave home and become independent permanently, we know how to accept their decision and adapt to that new situation, understanding that this is a new stage in our life that we must begin and maintain in the best possible way.
On the contrary, when parents do not assume the independence of their children or suffer this change as a loss or abandonment, this is when they can develop the so-called empty nest syndrome, and in the face of the combination of loneliness and deep sadness that can occur. experiment, it is essential to act quickly and implement a series of measures that help overcome the situation and prevent these symptoms from leading to depression over time.
Let’s see below what are the most common symptoms of empty nest syndrome that can help identify and diagnose this condition:
Sadness.
Loneliness and feeling of emptiness.
Feeling that life is meaningless.
Boredom and not finding anything to do or something to occupy your free time.
To feel down.
Melancholy or nostalgia.
Frequent urges to cry or crying for long periods of time.
Irritability.
Feeling that you are not going to be as happy as when your children lived at home.
Sleep disorders.
Somatic complaints.
It is important to note that for us to be able to talk about empty nest syndrome, the above symptoms must appear in the days after the child leaves home and not be related to suffering from some other type of emotional problem, as could be the case of a mood disorder.
Who is more likely to suffer from empty nest syndrome?
Generally, although empty nest syndrome can occur in both sexes, it is very common. more common in women than in men. This may be because traditionally it is women who have had the role of raising children and taking care of the family at home. Consequently, the fact of investing completely in their children can lead them to experience that deep feeling of loneliness, abandonment or sadness when their children leave home permanently. In addition to this, it has been pointed out that the higher incidence of this syndrome in women than in men could also be related to the fact that the episode of emancipation of children often coincides with the stage of menopause, a time in which the woman experiences important emotional and physical changes.
Despite the above, currently, the roles of men and women in caring for children tend to be equal, which is why this syndrome is observed in more and more men and there is not such an important difference with respect to sex. female.
How to overcome empty nest syndrome – solutions
Some tips that can help overcome the anguish of the empty nest and the departure of a child from home They are the ones we list below:
Analyze the current situation and reinforce the positive: First of all, become aware of how you feel and do not be scared by the sensations that this new family situation generates in you. It is normal that at first you feel sad, but instead of focusing on the negative of this fact, try to look for the positive points and think, above all, that it is a decision made by your child, with which he will be happy. and he will be fine, so you should be fine too and be happy for him.
Your role as a parent continues: The fact that your child leaves home and is totally independent does not mean that you are going to lose contact with him or that you will no longer be able to exercise your role as a father or mother. In this new stage, you can look for new ways to meet the needs of your children in their new independent life and maintain continuous contact that allows you to continue feeling close to you.
Express your feelings: Whether to overcome empty nest syndrome or any other problem, it is always important to express what we feel and talk to other people about what worries us. Vent your frustrations with your partner or with the people around you who you trust, as they can help you a lot to deal with this situation.
Take advantage of the moment to do what you like: On many occasions, occupations, family care and daily demands do not leave us time to do those activities that we really like and find pleasurable. Now may be the perfect time to resume those activities that you love so much and dedicate time to yourself. This will help you keep your mind busy, preventing feelings of loneliness and sadness from arising so easily.
Focus on your relationship: It can also be a good time to improve communication with your partner, find support in them, do more things together and enjoy these new moments of intimacy at home. In the following article, you can see some tips to be happy with your partner.
Visit your children when you have the need to see them, but always arranging those meetings with them beforehand to avoid invading your space and privacy excessively or cause them to feel uncomfortable. It is also good to organize family gatherings periodically so that the whole family can meet and reunite from time to time.
The relationship with your children can improve: Inevitably, living together always generates some family conflicts or discrepancies, therefore, it is possible that the relationship and communication with your children will improve now that there is a certain distance involved and that each one has their own home.
Seek psychological help
If once you know what to do when you have empty nest syndrome, the symptoms that we have described above do not disappear over time or occur in such an intense way that they even have a significant impact on your life, it will be time of seek professional help and go to a psychologist to start appropriate therapy.
In this way, it is also possible to prevent or adequately treat anxiety or mood disorders that may arise as a result of not being able to overcome empty nest syndrome.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome empty nest syndrome we recommend that you enter our Clinical Psychology category.
